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I'm beyond caregiver burnout and I wish I was free of my mother as she is a very toxic person. I've tried to be responsible for years and have given her so much but I'm just done and she's still here. Have any of you reached this point and either had a conservator or some other guardian appointed and then cut yourself off?

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I feel badly about how my earlier reply sounds. (want to clarify). I do wish I could care for mother in my home during her last days, but I haven't the finances to make the needed alterations, nor am I allowed to do lifting. Still, if I had to dispute to avoid taking her in, it would be traumatic, (cuz that would be a horrible memory to live with), for me.
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How old is Mom. Does she have any form of Dementia. Any illnesses. We really need more info to help you with ur problem.
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What a dilemma! (Such great answers). I hope my mother won't last long enough for me to face having to refuse to take her into my home. (I'm limited in finances & abilities) so she will never be in my home, God forbid. Yet it sounds horrid to have to argue that point with anyone. God bless us.
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Many states still have Filial Responsibility Laws on the books, which means that children are LEGALLY responsible for their parents...by law...even for their expenses. The law is WRONG and many states have overturned it, but not all. My DH and I talked about cutting off his narcissistic mother who is on speed dial for Jamaican scanners but out state still has this law on the books. Everyone should check to see what their state laws are regarding this. I intend to try to oust my state Representative because he supports this law. We have no legal say when parents squander their money or live beyond their means but some state laws say we are still responsible for them when the "stuff" hits the fan. Totally unfair.
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faeriefiles May 2019
What state do you live in? Most states do not enforce filial responsibility laws unless it can be proven that your parent supported you financially. They certainly can't force you to provide a home for them. Most of the laws I have read also have an exemption for adults her were abused by or estranged from their parents too. I can't think of a single case that has been enforced by legal case. If you know of one I would love to get the state and the case number from you for a friend who collects cases like that.
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Yes, I hear of people who walk away from full time care of their parent, who never accepted the job of caring for their parents etc. If people didn't transfer the responsibility of care to others we wouldn't need an entire care industry. I cut my father off when I was in my teens, when he later talked AOL into giving him my private contact information by claiming that he had cancer, I briefly spoke with him to see if he had changed. I cut him off again after only a couple of brief calls and emails because he was still the monster I remembered. I don't know if he's alive or dead and I don't actually care. It sounds like it's time for you to call your local area on aging or Adult protective services folks and tell them you're not going to be caring for your mother any more. They will try to talk you out of it, you will need to be firm. Good luck.
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