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My mother was diagnosed with dementia about 2 years ago. I quit my job to stay home and take care of her which is something i chose to do. Little did i know how awful this disease can be. It seems that if we stay at home (familiar surroundings) she doesn't seem to act out or have major delusions. However if we go out, even to the grocery store, etc. by that evening she goes into full delusion mode. Searching the house for unknown objects, asking where her mom and dad are (they passed away 25 and 45 years ago) and she becomes very upset. My question is, should i not take her anywhere? She always wants to go places and enjoys herself while there but the evenings are always a mess. It is also nice that I get a chance to go out even if I have to take her with me but I'm not sure its good for her and I don't want to cause her undue stress/harm. I would value your opinion! We have the opportunity to get Disneyland passes and would go all the time. I think my mom would love it but again, I don't want to make her evenings more difficult for her.

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I agree that the problems in the evening might be due to fatigue, but there is something called "sundowning" that you should look into (just try Googling it). It's a condition that occurs in the evening with dementia patients. It can be very scary. Your Mom may need some meds to help with the delusions and acting out, but I think the first step is to make the outings short and sweet...I'd say Disneyland is out for sure. WAY to much stimulation for her...all the noise/confusion, etc., could really do her harm and make your evening a very bad nightmare! Too many unfamiliar sights, sounds, faces, voices, etc., If she already has delusions after going to the grocery store, I can't imagine what would happen after a day at Disneyland! Think of a 5-year old on a sugar high with no sleep! WOW! Getting out and about is certainly important, but making the outings "dementia friendly" is critical for both of your sakes!
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You should go to Disneyland without your mother. It sounds like she's most comfortable at home and so, given her mental state, why take her to where she's uncomfortable? Even though she may adjust, there's very little point to 'upsetting the apple cart' for someone with dementia. It may make us feel better to be getting them out from time to time, but we're just projecting what would be good for us and that's very different from what's good for them. In their world, even very familiar things are quickly becoming unfamiliar and confusing, so imagine the stress of going somewhere that actually is strange to them.
I repeat, go to Disneyland without your Mom. Go regularly! Bring someone in to stay with Mom and you go blow off some steam and enjoy yourself. The adjustment to a new, occasional caregiver would be nothing compared to the adjustment for her of feeling adrift in really unfamiliar surroundings.
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Her past behavior should be a clue that being in a crowd upsets her. Do not take her into crowds! This is very upsetting to people with dementia. Keep it the same environment so she feels safe and do not take her to Disneyland. This would be so confusing for her and she would be so stressed. If you need a break, get a caregiver for her while you go out, but keep her surroundings familiar at all times. A ride might be okay, but no crowds!
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My mother with dementia, though not as progressive as your mother's, had to get out of the house daily and enjoyed rides in the car. The more remote and rural the scenery the better...away from sirens, strangers, a fast pace and fears/worries. She would do okay with other activities as well, but in smaller and quieter environments. She was fine going to doc offices, calm restaurants, and family gatherings. Going to a grocery/department store or mall, arena or traveling a multi-lane highway or interstate...were too much. With her, I think, it was the pace or intensity of her surroundings and the amount of time spent there, that effected her the most.

By, all means do things with your mother. Get both of you out of the house. Go on a journey together! Just choose wisely where you go.
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My experience with my Mom,who has Dementia,would have to tell you not to go.
Sometimes we think they would enjoy something,when in fact it is more confusing and more stressful on yourself. As a caregiver,I would advise you to go without her and YOU enjoy yourself. If a trip to a grocer leaves her delusional,then you can only imagine what noise and crowds would do to her.
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Perhaps a trip to a nice quiet park where you could walk/sit and watch kids at play. Being in nature usually has a calming effect. Maybe bring lunch and eat there too.
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I would take her places. She enjoys them. Avoid letting her get too tired or stimulated. Even at Disneyland, you can create a less stimulating situation by advanced planning. Choose a time and date when school is still in session. Scope out where you can sit with her or have a meal without a lot of fuss. It may be best to go out during the day to more quiet places and on days and times of the day when stores and other places are less busy.
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My mom has dementia but loves to get out. When I visit, I assess her state of mind to determine where we go. If we go to a store, that is it for the day and I keep it short and personal for her - in other words, she leads the way for the shopping and I follow her lead (I don't shop for myself during this time). We do more in the mornings and go to restaurants in off times (early dinner (3 pm)), etc. I also get her out by just walking around the neighborhood or going out on drives together and try to take her to the same old places or landmarks she can reminisce about. I try not to schedule more than one activity a day. We've also gone to lovely gardens or nature areas where we might just sit on a bench for a change of scenery. I feel that is all she needs to get her out of the house, but I don't do too much stimulation anymore. I used to think it was stimulating for her; but I realized it was too much stimulation.
Agree, Disney for you; not your mom.
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You are supposed to take them out earlier in the day so they don't become fatigued. Also with the sundowning you should keep the blinds open and let in as much light as you can during the day. They should go out even if it's for a little walk each day for exercise. They can't seem to unwind if you get them out later in the day and as the day progresses they get more confused. So definitely take her out but do it earlier.
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I agree with most of the people on this post. Taking your mom out can be good for her with short distances that are free of distraction and noise. Disney is totally out the question. My dad would enjoy the fresh air when we would go for a walk. It serves two points, you spending quality time and the senior getting some Vitamin D through sunshine.
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