Married 70 years my dad Passed away last week my mom has dementia I cared for both of them they both lived with my husband and I. I don't know if I should tell my mom or if I should just make excuses why he's not home. He led a very Extensive life And she was used to him being Gone or not home during The night or the day so I've just been making up Excuses why he's not home.Ivax my other two siblings what I should do but since I'm the caregiver they leave it up to me they live out of state Both of them I don't know My heart says don't tell her But I'm Torn.
Does your mom ask where your dad is? Has she been told that he died and forgotten it? If she does ask about him is she satisfied with the answers you give her?
I don't think there's anything wrong with telling your mom that your dad is at work or on a business trip or whatever it is you tell her. If she accepts your answer to her question as to where he is just keep telling her that.
I also don't think there's anything wrong with telling your mom that he died but because of her dementia she should only be told once. After you've told her he's passed away and she asks later where he is make something up. There's no reason to keep telling her that he's gone.
I think whatever you think is best will be fine. You know your mom, you understand her dementia. You can't go wrong if you do what you think is best for her.