Moving Mom and Dad into a separate apartment. How to handle the move to a new space?

I would have a consultation either with a geriatric psychiatrist and/or an occupational therapist about this plan. Chairlift and dementia don't add up to a good total in my head .

A move is difficult, under the best situations. An apartment above a garage is not a good solution. Your mom may even refuse the use of a chair lift.

Assisted living sounds like what they need.

It seems as though this move is in the best interests of the family, not your elderly parents. Please consult with an occupational therapist about the physical arrangements, limitations and possible risks for injury.

I know this is not an answer to your main question, but I wanted to ask you if your mom is having minimally invasive hip replacement surgery? If not, I think you should investigate it. My mom had her left hip replaced 5 years ago and had a very quick recovery. It requires a very small incision compared to regular hip replacement and the muscles do not need to be cut so there is very little pain and, as I mentioned, a very quick recovery. If you go that route, make sure that you find a doctor who specializes in minimally invasive hip replacement and has done at least 10 previous procedures. Hope this helps. In regard to your mom and dad's living situation, I would suggest that dementia, older age, and stairs are definitely not a good situation. Assisted living seems like a better choice, especially in a facility that offers independent, assisted living, and nursing home care so that as your mother's dementia progresses and your dad can no longer handle her care, he can continue to be close to her as she declines and yet, can still continue his own life as best he can.

I expect that those around here who are familiar with hip replacements can provide you some good advice. I don't know much about them. I do have a little question about your parents moving into an upstairs apt. Even with a chairlift, is it feasible for people in their 80's to being using it on a regular basis? Lack of mobility and getting in and out of their apt for appointments would be my concern. Others may have a different opinion, but with 80 somethings I would be concerned about safety and what if they had to get out due to fire or an emergency? I'd look into that.

I would also go through the apt and look for things that might be an issue as the dementia progresses. That progression can go rapidly or slowly, but I would check things out with the idea that she could be operating with a very different mental state in the near future.

If you want to make the place comfortable, just use their same furniture and hang pictures of the family. You might have a small family housewarming to welcome them and wish them well.

I'd make sure that people who used to visit still visit, but once again, are friends their age going to have access to an upstairs apt? Can they use the chairlift? I'm not sure what it looks like, but I'd make sure it's safe and others feel comfortable using it. You dad is in good health, but still at 80, I'd hesitate to want my dad going up and down stairs multiple times per day. The exercise might be good, but I would fear he might lose his balance, fall and break something.

Being around family members can be very comforting, but it is different. I hope it works out for you all.

So good that they have family who care and want them near. I agree with the concern of the stair lift. It is something that may pose more of a problem for someone with dementia rather than a solution.
As for a party or gathering of friends or family when they move in, that may not be the best idea either as it may overwhelm Mom.
The suggestion to have the new place set up as close to her old home is excellent. I work as a senior move manager and my crew always take photos of the home we are moving out of and then try our best to set up the new place very similar to the old place. Even little nicknacks.
Would it work to let one of the grand kids have the over garage apartment and let Mom and Dad have their room in the main house? Then no expense to add the stair lift and I would guess a very happy grand kid. If they are old enough.
I had an apartment at home when I was growing up and it was super.

a chairlift will clearly work and are very safe but if mom is riding on the chair needs help getting on and off, this may be a problem because your dad would have to walk down the steps to get mom off. However, if your brothers family will be available to help with this, it is definitely doable. Perhaps this is the best solution for the moment. Having parents closer to those family members that can help is a great idea. As mentioned about, it would be a great idea to have a physical and occupational therapist (covered by Medicare) to come in and show you the best way to handle daily activities in a new home. They will also gladly point out an hazards, such as rugs, etc which may have to be removed. Good luck with this new adventure

With the onset of dementia, eventually your mom will forget that she needs to remain in the chairlift. Will she struggle as it goes up/down? Will she panic during the ride because she no longer understands/comprehend that the chair is to take her up/down? As my mom progressed in her dementia, she started wandering out of the house. What if your mom does this, does not understand that those are stairs, and walks straight forward (and falls down the flight of stairs)? My mom got to the point that she refused to sit down - not even for a minute. We had to struggle to keep in her place (sundowning), what if your mom reaches this stage? How are you going to get her to sit still in the chair, or to lift her feet up the stairs or bend her knees to go down the stairs? She's not going to remember how to do these things. I would think it would be best to just convert the garage into an addition to the house, seal the door and make a separate entrance on the side of the garage. Of course, then they won't have a place to park their cars.

Haven't seen this yet here. What if Mom forgets to use the lift? That would be my Mom. She would never remember how to operate it! And we often read stories on this site about those with dementia getting out of bed, forgetting they cannot walk then break a hip. I also wonder about the hip replacement. Anesthesia is very hard on elder brains, especially those with dementia. If you get the surgery done, you may want to wait on the lift as she will no doubt be in rehab for a period of time, and depending on hiw she progresses may not come home again.

Stop, Please call their doctor or nurse they will give you the name of someone who will help you evaluate your personal situation. This will save you alot of heartache and pain from making decisions that you have very little experience in dealing with.