I am the eldest of 5 children (2 girls, 3 boys) - my mom was recently placed in a nursing home (my decision) I only had 30 minutes to find a place because the doctor discharged her from a rehab facility and she could not go home. I have dual POA, and no help from any of my siblings. I had heard more excuses than I could ever imagine, so even though I live 3 hours away, I make weekly trips to visit my mom, handle all of her personal, financial and medical affairs, and try to maintain working 40 hours a week because I live alone, and live from check to check.
This past week my mom has been calling me relentlessly saying that she just wants to go home and die, cannot walk or move her legs, and is totally helpless. I worked with the staff and her physician over the weekend, and discovered that my mother has been playing me like a fiddle. She can move her legs, and she can walk with a walker but has been acting out when I come around so that I will feel sorry for her and bring her home. I can't afford to quit my job, and I can't trust anyone else to really be there to help. I have had family members not show up for scheduled times they were going to help or bring her to dr visits, or just not show up at all when it was their turn to help out. I feel as though I have been used both ways, and I am just disgusted with the whole situation. I know my mother has bouts of dementia, is extremely overweight and just too darn lazy to help herself. Why should I have to be the one to take responsibility for everything? Is anyone else dealing with anything like this?