My husband has handguns and has mild dementia. Any advice?

I was wondering if guys with guns could be talked into selling them, explaining that they need the money more than the gun and they might be highly collectable. My husband had a shotgun hidden that he only used for vermin around the house (we lived up against a national forest) occasionally.
I sold it back to the gun shop he'd gotten it from, after he passed, didn't even tell my sons or SILs until afterwards. At one time we had a couple of antique guns, one someone had given him and one that was my dad's, but they were stolen in a house burglary. (That's another reason to get the guns gone--a burglar is more likely to grab it and shoot you than vice versa.)

I sometimes wonder how this all worked out. It's been awhile since we heard from Tarajane. The last I heard, she and hubby had bought a house out of state and they were moving to a farm or something. I never did hear how they were doing after that move.

I suggest take the gun away from him because if he has the gun in his hand even without bullets a person can misinterpret it as a man with a gun who's dangerous If they call the cops and if the cops see that he is armed there's a good chance they may shoot him especially if he has dementia and there's a high chance of violence on his side

THANK YOU TaraJane! And, we do need to try to keep in mind that the easy problems have been solved already. :-)

hi anout the guns i went through this w/ myhubby that just pasthe was into knives..and lottery tickets..I had my action wkr get rid of them and I had the saying his bank acct was being brought down to 25.00 a day ..he also spent his whole retirement moneys of 35,ooo dollars then I called our ppc nd brought him in for evaluation sure enough it was vascular dementia thats when I started to look for nursing homes
thenthe first nh sued us for 25,000 grand..they thenlooked at our bnk statements which just had our ss in them
then came medicaid then mass health..and meals on wheels
then uncontrolled diabetes, hepatitis, high blood pressure
then another nh the last one where they overdosed him on metformin a drug that is used along with insulin..thenkidney failure from thst overdose from their dr's you see THE NH takes over all med personnel that you have
you see now i cannot even get his personal belongings
they conveniently CANNOT find them nice huh????

He would fight that tooth and nail.....I switched him to caffiene free Canada Dry so he can drink his heart out now. I am keeping a log on his sundowning. Thank you for your input

Sorry, your husband, not Dad.

Tarajane, maybe Dad should no longer be alone.
You said you were at work, came home and he was falling apart after drinking 6 sodas? Look into adult day care for him while you are at work.

My Mom told my Dad she threw the gun in the lake behind the house and if he wanted it bad enough he could go wade around looking for it. He pouted but gave up looking for it. Actually went to a gun dealer who sold it and gave her the $.

Yes, what jeannegibbs said. All is pretty calm. One day he drank 6 sodas while I was at work and I came home around 3pm and he was falling to pieces and could he please have an Ativan. I gave him one but I have switched him to non-caffeine pop. The Seroquel seems to be somewhat of a miracle drug for him so far. Sorry I haven't checked in but I have worked the last 2 days and just didn't post. I will keep you all posted. If you care enough to be concerned I will darn sure keep you updated. I just look for the day I can help with some answers. God Bless you all and hugs to you all.

vstefans, I too worry about Tarajane. She has a couple of other posts since this one. She has seen an attorney and gotten those ducks in a row. Her husband is now on Seroquel and that seems to help -- at least for the first day or so!

Unload them AND get them secured. Anybody who even waves a gun or something that looks like one at a police officer is likely to get themselves killed. Show him you are locking them up separately from the ammo for safety and pretend to tell him where you are keeping the key. (With a little luck he will forget what you said and be unwilling to admit it.) Tell him a law has been passed that gun owners must do this. We just passed it for you, here on AgingCare.

We have not heard from you since 9/15 and frankly I am still worried for you.

Lock them up and hide the only key. You have to be the boss for his (and your) safety. Dementia is unpredictable.

I will ask my best friend's husband if he can disable the gun. I know every one of you are right. I make sure it is unloaded but that's when I'm here. I will take care of it. Thank you all. By the way, my ALZ group was fantastic! By the way the group was fantastic last night ! Hand massage with a nice smelling lotion. Other things too. Loved it. Thank you all and hugs to all.

Tonight I read in our local news about a 90 yo man with dementia who shot and killed his 65 yo son who lived with him, in an argument over the television. The man told police he just wanted to scare his son.

Tragic.

People with dementia, like children should not have access to guns, please take care of this situation immediately, you will not be able to forgive yourself if a tragedy occurs.

All of the advice is very good. When I realised my Dad had dementia about 4 years ago, my next thought was OMG THE GUNS! He didn't hunt any longer and he didn't sit around foundling them, but there was a rack full in the bedroom.
I told him I'd always wanted the Remington such and so, and he said well I don't use it, just take it with you. I had all my male relatives come by and play the same tune until the long guns and all the ammo were gone. There was on little pistol he insisted on keeping for protection. I had my gun Savy BIL sneak it out, disable it and put it back.

What alarms me about your story is hubby sitting around fondling loaded pistols. This tells me either the dementia is clouding his judgement or he never learned and followed proper gun safety. That is soooo basic. You don't sit around playing with and fondling a loaded gun . I hope there's no kids around that know about these guns, not to mention a druggie neighbor kid.

Do it the easy way if you can or the hard way, no matter how mad he gets. This is unacceptable.

Taking the ammunition out of the guns might work, but it does have risks. What if he has hidden more ammo and after you think it's all gone, he finds the other ammo that he secreted away and reloads the guns or he somehow convinces a neighbor or unsuspecting friend to bring him ammo, or he orders it without your knowledge....the worse case scenarios go on and on. I just wouldn't rely on him keeping the guns with no ammo, but that is your decision.

Your original questions says "I am afraid he will forget they are loaded and a round will go off"...

I think everyone is concerned that they are loaded and don't want anything to happen to you..

Us caregivers stick together.. Hugs..

No disrespect to anyone. I am just very new to this. I did not have parents to take care of. God took them early before mental illness could have set in. I am lost, angry, depressed, scared, and don't know from one day to the next what may happen. My husband right now has very mild Dementia but enough that I don't want him driving. Thank you all and I hope I can help someone on here someday.

Put gun locks on all and have the key in a safe place where he will never find it.
My dad does not have dementia yet, but does have problems with his memory. His gun is now missing and we now have to file a report. Suspect that it was stolen. I understand that having a gun makes people feel more secure, but your husband does not need to be handling the gun.

tarajane, when I read Jeanne's post I didn't read it that way. She was being honest with you. Remember, many of the posters here have lived with loved ones who had dementia so they know the different stages involved, and how difficult and challenging each stage can be, until the very end.

jeannegibbs, what a blatant statement. You make him sound like a criminal. He admires and likes handguns. Not loaded, he's not a fool yet but I am working on a plan. Before he retired he always carried a firearm, work related. No suggestions from you just one blank horrible sounding statement. Sorry!

When he's in a lucid mood (if any) ask him to tell you about them (one at a time) and ask if he would like to have it auctioned off for someone else to appreciate. And realize that he may have more hidden someplace you don't know about.

We recently had this same issue with my dad. His home had been robbed years ago and he was beaten severely by the intruders. Since then he has kept a loaded gun on his nightstand. He is in the early stage of dementia and was having dreams where someone was breaking into the house or he thought he heard noises inside. We finally were able to take the gun away once his doctor told him how dangerous this was and asked how he would feel if he shot his daughter or son-in-law. We also put alarms on all the doors and motion sensors outside. He was very reluctant and it took him a while to adjust. Now months later he never mentions the gun.

Speaking to Nowmymomsmom's comment, If the guns are collectibles, consider finding someone you know who understands enough about them to sell them, possibly at a gun show. Some of the collectibles are worth more than I used to make in a few months!

The problem with not removing the guns is the danger that exists that he's got ammo hidden somewhere in the house. Also, of course, that if he pulls out a gun when the EMTS come to help his wife who's fallen and broken her hip, they'll shoot him.

Regarding guns, there is something very comforting to a gun owner about having guns in the house. Even if the person can't see 5 feet in front of them. It makes them feel they are protecting their family.

Instead of removing the guns, call a local gunsmith and ask if there is a way to disable a firearm.

If the ammo is taken away the gun owner will immediately know the weight of the guns feels different. If the gun is disabled, it will still have the same weight with the bullets and the gun is now harmless to whomever is holding it. But that comes with a downside as Blannie had mentioned above, the police wouldn't know if it was fire able or not.

Just thought of something else....maybe those who know more about guns than I can speak to this issue. I know Eddie was a Marine and ArmyRetired presumably was in the Army -- maybe they'll see this and respond???

If someone knowledgeable, such as a former military person or gunsmith, removes the firing pin, it's my understanding that the gun can't be fired. I'm not sure about this though.

Take out ALL the live ammo, get him a beautiful LOCKING gun cabinet so he may admire them ...if he refuses to get rid of them, but again NO ammo in the house/cars anywhere obtainable to him ..Period.. Many older men refuse to give up their guns or they may be collector's items so he may not want them destroyed at the local PD.Is there a son/daughter or relative he might like to give them to that shares his love of guns?