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Yes I may have to consider getting some type of sitter...
but once again , she doesnt really want anyone coming to help her...because there is nothing wrong.
You see the biggest thing I am dealing with is my reality ( her alzheimers) and her denial( shes fine)
Its a rollercoaster ride in hell.
mucho thanks!!
Check out my other post: https://www.agingcare.com/137386
Wish I could give you some solid suggestions on how to do the physical move, but I think first you need to find a place for her and have everything set up. That won't happen overnight.
I am a 42 yr old only child, who is trying to do everything for a mom who has alzheimer and is getting worse and worse.
I am being verbally abused ...this afternoon I bawled for hours. I have always been a victim of verbal abuse...now its amplifiede.I have no help , no family....I have depression --i was doing well for 9 years, I fought for my health back, but this has made me fall back ..i am feeling ill and depressed. My emotions are torn up.My momz and I were sooooooooo close, she was a battered wife ( and abused child) who protected me much of my life. We where each others back up...now shes turning into my enemy. She gets so enraged when I tell her shes forgotten something, she calls me a liar, she cusses me, she threatens me...PHYSICALLY...and has attacked me...scratched me in the face....I was a cheerful , positive person in the past year....I had to be to live through all of the tradgedys I have...NOW i am sad and alone.( friends have abannoned me)I have made a new friend here however!( smile) I know I must do something ...and fast...I can barely make it through a day( around her).
I just cant seem to do anything but take the abuse and cry ( and loose my health) over it.
Why cant I just wake up , and put her in a assisted living home?nO ONE CAN HAVE THAT MUCH GUILT?!
I dont want to let myself...sacrafice myself....does that make sense? Even though I know it will be the best for both of us.
Someone here said "you have to go with your mind...not what your heart says"
I know it will be world war 3...shes told me, she will physically fight me like a pit bull. AND SHE WILL.
How do I get someone like that in a home? she will be nice to everyone there however!!!! Shes sooooooooooo kind and considerate to everyone else- NOT ME.
She has accused me of trying to steal her home ( which is also mine-joint ownershp) her money, she seems to hate me for no reason at times. AND I AM THE ONLY IDIOT HERE , WITH HER TRYING TO HELP HER!!
I'LL BE HAPPY FOR ANY ENCOURAGING WORDS OF ADVICE.
Thank you guys!
Maybe if you try telling her that she has denture odor--she'll let you clean them--good luck.
I perfectly understand your conflicting emotions, and hope you find some support to help you through this process. We are dealing with similiar circumstances and difficulties with our loved ones, who we've greatly struggled with over the years. For whatever reason, they weren't always there for us, either. No human being can perfectly meet all our needs, and some circumstances are harder than others. Sometimes our parents made choices that weren't in the best interests of themselves or their children, and everyone suffered for it. Forgiveness is key, though not easy. In our case, alcohol and prescription narcotics were involved, but so was mental illness. We can't change the past, but we can still exercise compassion and forgiveness without demanding restitution for things they cannot change. We can also ask for forgiveness, even when people are failing cognitively. I'm sorry you are struggling so. Will be praying for you, and hope you find the grace and support you need to complete the journey. Ask God to help you with the anger and forgiveness, and he will give you comfort and peace as well.
Thanks to all of the questions and answers that I have been allowed to see I have gained a lot of strength to do this. I wish you all the same. A BIG THANK YOU!
bluewatercreek
That's how I get thru it. ...also my s-i-l takes her o/n usually once a week or every 2 weeks. I hope this helps.
Hang in there, hopefully your guilt will leave when you see how well people really do in nursing homes.
She' 93 and all she did at home was sit--now she does several things, looks 90% better, roams the place and has even put on some weight on.
The staff are all super and she has alot of friends her age--or close to it--try not to feel bad.