How do I get over the guilt of wanting to be romantically involved with someone other than my husband with dementia?

jules ! horray you and dan are off to the pound . exciting i am .
am so glad that your daughter agreed to help you out , thank god for lit girls :-)
going out does help and i am glad that reading this help ya out and also glad that u decided to give this site a try .
let us know what ya find . i wishi could save all pets there at the pound . proud of you ! and so will the dog !! dan will be happy campers , now all 3 ofyou can go out for a walk and let the dog go to the bathroom , excerise and people will stop by and brag about the new furry baby :-) .
the whole new outlook for ya jules :-) .

vic- i was watching the news about irene . yep looks like fla may just get the wind and rain . watch out carolina s , hope it blows back out in the ocean and nobody gets hurt ....

I have been a care taker for my spouse for 10 years and have spent so much energy doing the correct thing. I was so burnt out that I ignored everything around me. Fortunately another person came into my life and I will take the opportunity to have a good friend to enjoy feeling somewhat alive again.
Now sex does not have much to do with our relationship. Just a good friend to go out with, happens to be a male instead of a female. I have no regrets.
Life is short and we all will be dead along time. Carpe Diem.
Wedding vows aside,try saving your own sanity.

As a husband I am going through the guilt thing I always get praise from family and freinds about what a wonderful job of caregiving I have done(many years) but I do miss not having sex and a partner to be in bed with and being a freind. My wife (with alzheimers) has been in a home for sometime so life is very lonely especially evenings as it's not fun going to things alone.have a freind(widow of a good freind)who wants to be intamit so not sure if my guilt will let me perform and what would my family think as they are concerned with me getting depressed as I spend 6 hrs a day at least at the home with her.being in that atmosphere for that long is sad and depressing .i am not looking for sympathy or critics just venting really enjoyed the comments

These are some of the best open minded answers I have ever read wish I could meet with some of you for support

I think this is a personal decision. My personal opinion and life's philosophy is to never judge others for their decisions...there is a higher judge for that. I also personally feel that you are so very young to be going through this and believe you deserve companionship and intimacy. If I were your family member I would fully support you seeking another relationship. I do not agree with some of the others that say "make it legal" because to me, by caring for your husband you are still fulfilling your duty to him...he is well cared for and calm...and he is also not the same person you married. Also, I am not married, but if I was, and I became ill (which I probably will as Parkinson's runs in my family) and my husband was suffering, I would DEFINITELY want him to seek happiness. My main goal in marriage is not a legal mumbo jumbo contract or a slavery situation, it would be to increase the happiness of my partner and share experience. If I am beyond being able to make him happy and create new experiences I would want, and insist that he find those where he can. I will never stand in the way of someone's happiness.
Angel

Hi , i was wondering if there are any more recent comments? I hope so , anyone like to just chat . I am thinking of opening a chat room on Chathour. would anyone here join . thanks

You have two choices. One live up to your code, stay true to your vows, and accept the consequences. Two admit your human, that you have a need for closeness, sex, a human touch, and accept the consequences. Can I suggest seeing a therapist? You are in an impossible situation with heart rendering consequences either way. A therapist would be a godsend.