My sister was appointed guardian over my mother after a catastrophic stroke, my brother and his family have moved in with mom and sis to help take care of mom. My sister is paying my brother to watch mom during the day while she works. My brother works nights. The rest of the siblings as well as the other grandchildren are not allowed contact with mom/grandma. Is this legal? My sister will not allow assistance from the nursing facilities in the area to check on mom. Mom qualifies for Medicaid assistance but sister will not do the paperwork. She insists that she and my brother can handle things on their own without outside interference. Is there anything that the rest of the family can do?
At the the treatment she has received from her aunt. There has been no contact between mt daughter and her grandmother for the last four months because my sister will not allow it. This is time that has been stolen from a child that can never be returned to her. I am sad to say that I agreed to appoint my sister guardian. Now I see that I made a grievous mistake in doing so.
The latest part of this situation came to light yesterday. My sister in North Carolina had called me to let me know that sister guardian had taken my mom to the neurologist last week had extensive tasting done and has made significant gains. My moms neurologist moved to California the beginning of September ( her last day at the practice was August 31) Her patients have not been reassigned as of yet. ( my older brother has the same neurologist) Who did my mother see? What significant gains have been made? Dead brain cells just don't automatically rejuvenate. I am hoping the court will investigate and do something.
Is it in Mother's best interests? That is pretty hard to imagine.
Can you do anything about it? I suggest that you consult an elder law attorney.
How did this Sister get guardianship? Did the rest of the family offer their opinions during the court hearing? Was everyone content with that arrangement at the time, and only have concerns now that Sister is cutting everyone off?
Very sad situation. My heart goes out to you. But if Sister is the legal gaurdian I think you'll need legal advice regarding visitation rights.
If Mom suddenly decided she feared or otherwise was too stressed to see any other relatives, she may have told her caretaking family, to prevent any family visitors--My Mom orchestrated that kind of blockade against me.
They all shut me out--I had to let them.
And am gradually finding it is a relief.
BUT...it sounds more like your Mom is being artificially isolated.
ESPECIALLY since they are failing to fill out paperwork to get her the care she needs.
---IF mom has resources they are using, by being her sole caretakers, her getting Medicaide assist from State, would mean they would lose those resources. [Speculating]
Indeed, causing Mom to be isolated, is a form of elder neglect or abuse.
NOT allowing any Health Care workers to visit and assess circumstances at that house, is a red flag whipping in the wind begging for inspection at very least, and her removal from that home and move to a facility, at worst.
HAVE you already tried calling 911 to do a "welfare check" on a frail elderly relative you are worried about? An officer must go to the home and do a welfare check, and the officer is NOT allowed to take the caretaker's "word for it"--the officer MUST see the elder and get a look at how they are being taken care of.
An Officer might go to that with a Social Worker, or, in some areas, the Call might get referred to Social Workers to go check out---either way, there is a check done.
At least by doing that, it might motivate the care-taking relatives to do "due diligence" in getting proper care.
OR, the people doing the welfare check will find things "appear to be fine", "within normal limits", and simply report back to you that.
It WILL create a record about Mom being cared for there.
And, some families call repeated welfare checks--creating a trail of reports that can be used as evidence, if they find anything.
I hope you find out what has been going on over there.
Definitely, questions need answered!
Who gave your sis guardianship? A judge I assume. He should be able to make the call of who gets to visit.
Who pays sis? And how much? Is bro getting paid by sis AND living off of Mom? Something sounds really fishy here and your mom may be getting the "shaft" and you don't even know it. Someone needs to get in there and see how Mom is doing!
If I were you I would see a lawyer to see if your allowed access to your mother. Even local health department could be of some assistance. All in all the scenario you describe above does not sound right to me.