Suzmarie. You do exactly what I do. It's like a cafeteria in this house. Variety! Of course the grocery bill is out of sight, hubb and I can do chicken on grill and veggies But mom likes a stacked fridge and pantry. Lots of fruit that goes to waste. She raids fridge and ripsneverything up she can find with a knife and most times it then spoils. We keep another smaller fridge in garage for things we know she doesn't like so she won't ruin them. It is the independence she likes. It's the "poop" I don't like for her over eating. What to do. Grocery bills run $300-400 a week and it's 90% her stuff. Then sometimes I'll ask "what do yo want for dinner, and she will say "surprise me"!!! Also have to add this independence she loves leaves sticky floor, counter, spilled ji Uice in fridge. She went to respite a yrae ago and she kePt traveling to kitchen in middle od night.
Sometimes are parents become like children. Dictating meals is one way for a person who has little control over life to exert power. I agree that shopping once a week is enough. Just get a variety of things that she likes and give her those choices. If she is really hungry and it is something she likes she will eat
i definately liked a vacation at walmart. I would never go to the store everyday. When i was working full time a caregiver was here...mom ate alot of packaged meals but always a banana and lots of water. As a result the freezer was full of varied meals. The cupboards were stocked with all kinds of canned goods vegys etc. there were mac and cheese box and other instand cooking meals. lots of oatmeal and cream of wheat. bread with different jellies can change for each day of the week and i always gave mom a slice of bread. baked potatoes keep for a long time use with a side dish of veggies and fruit. mini pre cooked meatloaf. what made the diffferene for mom was the variety. to add to this there was a variety of fruit cups, pears, peaches, fruit cocktail. individual cups of chocolate and vanilla pudding and jello packs in all sorts of flavors. since these keep a long time it added variety to every meal. i also bought different flavors of jello and made a batch every week and poured into little individual cups. soups are so varied also add with crackers that keep a long time; also a variety of drinks. my two cents; hope something works for you and your mom
Sometimes we need to be given a choice which isn't a choice. Because deciding is too hard, yet no choice is too restrictive. The answer might be what used to be termed 'the bishop's gambit'. In other words, offer two choices where one is definitely out of the question.
For example, lets assume that the party in question does not like fish. You might say something like 'Well, you have a choice for dinner. You can have trout or steak'. In fact, you know they wont pick trout as they don't like fish and the steak has already been bought. But they still get a choice (!) however it is a limited choice, which often can work well, and - though they hopefully wont pick up on it - the choice is actually rigged to a particular option.
Since I do the grocery shopping, meal planning, and meal preparation for the family, I would not shop daily simply because the people I cook for can't decide what they want to eat. Prior to shopping every week, I ask my mom/daughter/son if they'd like anything special in the house. Then, they eat what I prepare, or not! I know their tastes and preferences, and I certainly take that into consideration. After all, I want my family to find mealtimes enjoyable; however, that being said, if they don't like what I serve, they don't have to eat it. I'm not a short order cook, and our home is not a diner. I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, but enough is enough!
In my house chef rules. It doesn't matter if you're elderly or one of the kids. You can make request before my weekly shopping trips. But since I'm the shopper and cook I decide. I often incorporate the weekly specials into my meal plan and do try to have everyone's favorites once and awhile.
But no you shouldn't go to the grocery store daily. If you're like everyone else on this board you do enough. You don't need to add short order cook to the list.
I have to go to the store nearly every day because I can never decide what I want to cook for dinner until late in the day.
Hmmm ...
Actually, that is how I like to do things, but I'm forced to plan ahead a little more because leaving my husband alone is becoming a problem.
If you like to shop daily and be assured of fresh fish and just-picked corn and other veggies, great! If you prefer fewer trips and more advanced planning, that is great too.
And if you are preparing the meals, it should be your decision. As the others have said, reduce the number of choices you give Mother. Let her help you plan 7 or 8 dinners before you do your weekly shopping. Then she could decide which of those menus she'd prefer any given night, and you'd be fairly certain to have the ingredients on hand.
Paula, liked your comment, I always say Walmart is a caregivers vacation.... so I do understand...lol Like Paula said, have things on hand you know she likes... give her two choices, or just fix it, you didn't say what her health issues are, but right now M is not hungry, nothing sounds good... so I make suggestions of light meals of things on hand.... no way would I run to the store everyday. I don't have time.... One evening I even fixed her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I suggested it being silly, but her face lit up and she said that sounded good... Let us know what happens .......
My 87 year old mother tended to be this way too, until she was put on hospice care. Now, as her sole caregiver, my trips to the grocery store are limited to twenty minute mad-dashes twice a week when a nurse or a health aide comes to relieve me. We're lucky if I remember the toilet paper, much less a special menu. :(
Although, having once had a husband with the the same affliction, I'd say this is more a personality matter than a result of advanced age. I'd advise giving her a choice from what you have on hand rather than an unlimited range of selections. Although, if she's become used to being asked, this might cause problems at first. Or you could just fix something you think she might like and bypass the selection process entirely.
Personally I think I'd love to go to the grocery store everyday, but that probably just because I know I can't. :)
Uice in fridge. She went to respite a yrae ago and she kePt traveling to kitchen in middle od night.
there were mac and cheese box and other instand cooking meals. lots of oatmeal and cream of wheat. bread with different jellies can change for each day of the week and i always gave mom a slice of bread. baked potatoes keep for a long time use with a side dish of veggies and fruit. mini pre cooked meatloaf. what made the diffferene for mom was the variety. to add to this there was a variety of fruit cups, pears, peaches, fruit cocktail. individual cups of chocolate and vanilla pudding and jello packs in all sorts of flavors. since these keep a long time it added variety to every meal. i also bought different flavors of jello and made a batch every week and poured into little individual cups. soups are so varied also add with crackers that keep a long time; also a variety of drinks. my two cents; hope something works for you and your mom
For example, lets assume that the party in question does not like fish. You might say something like 'Well, you have a choice for dinner. You can have trout or steak'. In fact, you know they wont pick trout as they don't like fish and the steak has already been bought. But they still get a choice (!) however it is a limited choice, which often can work well, and - though they hopefully wont pick up on it - the choice is actually rigged to a particular option.
But no you shouldn't go to the grocery store daily. If you're like everyone else on this board you do enough. You don't need to add short order cook to the list.
Hmmm ...
Actually, that is how I like to do things, but I'm forced to plan ahead a little more because leaving my husband alone is becoming a problem.
If you like to shop daily and be assured of fresh fish and just-picked corn and other veggies, great! If you prefer fewer trips and more advanced planning, that is great too.
And if you are preparing the meals, it should be your decision. As the others have said, reduce the number of choices you give Mother. Let her help you plan 7 or 8 dinners before you do your weekly shopping. Then she could decide which of those menus she'd prefer any given night, and you'd be fairly certain to have the ingredients on hand.
Like Paula said, have things on hand you know she likes... give her two choices, or just fix it, you didn't say what her health issues are, but right now M is not hungry, nothing sounds good... so I make suggestions of light meals of things on hand.... no way would I run to the store everyday. I don't have time....
One evening I even fixed her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I suggested it being silly, but her face lit up and she said that sounded good...
Let us know what happens .......
Although, having once had a husband with the the same affliction, I'd say this is more a personality matter than a result of advanced age. I'd advise giving her a choice from what you have on hand rather than an unlimited range of selections. Although, if she's become used to being asked, this might cause problems at first. Or you could just fix something you think she might like and bypass the selection process entirely.
Personally I think I'd love to go to the grocery store everyday, but that probably just because I know I can't. :)