Grief and caregiving. I need help navigating Dad's desire to "get back out there."

Why don't you place your dad in the appropriate facility, where he will have interactions with all kinds of females, but also other males as well? That way you would be killing two birds with one stone. He'd get the attention he's seeking, and you'd get your life back, and not be "#feeling exhausted and overwhelmed." It would be a win, win for you both. Best wishes.

Living in a FT residence as a 'healthy' male--and wanting more social interraction--he'll get it and then some!

My mom goes to the Sr Center and it is almost embarassing how the women fawn over the men--ratio of like 10-1.

The women literally fight to get to sit next to one of the single men, and the married ones too. Sometimes I tease mom about her swinging singles center.

I bet he would adapt well and love it.

If dad can do anything online at 81 that is a blessing. Make sure you have POA over his finances due to the memory loss. No need to lose any future inheritance over a scammer. Many online.

Is there any way he can move into assisted living?  The women would go crazy for him in a place like that.  There are 100 women for every man in those facilities.  My mom has dementia and is 80.  She still has all of her teeth, is mobile and considered one of the young ones.  She has had two "boy friends" at the facility and has outlived them both.  The most recent one was very upsetting for us because they had been together for the past 5 years and he was at my home for every holiday.  He was like family to us. Mom is very lonely now and doesn't have anyone to pal around with.  Your dad sounds a lot like my mom.  Wouldn't it be great if your dad had a friend to meet in the dining room for all of his meals and someone to visit with every day, watch a movie with, etc... If he is still wanting to be social, I strongly suggest you look into AL for him.  It would make what time he has left more enjoyable and it would give you a break.

Imho, IF your father further pursues his search "to get back out there," one word of caution that I would suggest is for him (or you) to be careful of sweetheart scammers. It happens. Prayers sent.

I too would be leery of the online dating. There are just too many nefarious people out there, waiting to take advantage of others. This is even more true of those who are older, and with some memory problems.

It would certainly be good for him to have social interactions with others his age, but in a more controlled environment. If he has memory issues, likely early dementia, I would also ensure you have POAs in place and protect his assets. There are many gold-diggers who would also take advantage of an elderly man, esp if he has assets they can get their mitts on!

Bad timing at the moment for encouraging social activity. When it is safer, try Senior Centers. They often have social activities. The elder day cares are probably not going to be a good place for meeting someone, as many are in more advanced stages of medical or cognitive issues, but you could check any local ones. If he could afford AL, that would certainly open up his horizons (again, when it is safer, as many now have very restricted activities, if any.) If you/he belong to a church, once restrictions are loosened up, they might have social activities as well. Any friends who have lonely widows in the family?

Hopefully you have a Dx for him. Some men who are experiencing dementia can misread ques or just be over-sexed, which will cause more problems. Maybe he just wants some companionship, which is fine.

Let him flirt; it makes him feel alive and connection to others is important for everybody. Of course, make sure to safeguard his finances.

May I also suggest that it would be a good idea for your to attend a grief group since it appears you are still grieving the loss of dad's wife. Greif Share is a good place to check out.

Is he diagnosed with dementia? Does he live with you? Is he fully capable of using online dating? If so and he is dabbling on some of these sites he is easy prey if he has control of his financial assets; that is for starts.
You say you are a caregiver for him full time and you say you work full time. Both things are not possible.
Are you his POA?
My suggestions would be that if he doesn't already live with you, you do not take him into your own home.
That you get POA and all other papers done with him while he still is competent to do them.
That you plan for protecting his assets from himself and that you plan for his move to Assisted Living if there are assets. He may thrive there as it sounds he is lonely and looking for companionship.
Can you tell us what is in place of the things mentioned at this time?

I am sure that you are overwhelmed. Many people do meet others with online sites but they have to be cautious. It’s not suitable for everyone.

I don’t mean to make light of your situation at all but I had to laugh at the flirting comment.

It was horrible when my mom fell. She has mobility issues due to Parkinson’s disease.

When the firefighters came to help her up, she was grateful and all smiles, not just for the help but because they were so fit and handsome!

Oh, the physical therapist that came for home health were extremely good looking too.

The inside joke was that mom was old but she could still recognize a great looking guy!

I told her nurse about it. She laughed so hard. She said that elderly women never paid much attention to her but let a good looking man walk in and they perked up!

Is he competent? If so Let him "get back out. Offer to sign him up so you can have the passwords and know where he is going. Frequently monitor the exchange to be sure he is not being exploited. Step in if necessary -- Otherwise why not

Is an older person who has sign up for online dating sights it is not as problematic as you think.