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I went to a funeral last weekend, and at the party in the parish hall afterwards, I heard that the decedent had chosen a “green burial”—willow casket, no embalming. That sounds wonderful! I hate the phoniness of the modern funeral industry, with all the pointless chemical preservation, outrageous costs, and all that hype. Has anyone here had a relative go this route, and did it save any money, or have the wily undertakers figured a way to overprice digging a simple hole and putting a biodegradable basket coffin in it?

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Google Luke Perry
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Emma1817 Oct 2019
I will!
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Here's the link Shad is talking about; Luke Perry was buried in a 'mushroom suit'. Quite fascinating, actually:

https://www.today.com/popculture/luke-perry-s-daughter-reveals-his-unusual-burial-request-t153565
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Emma1817 Oct 2019
Wow, this ought to be good...
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Caitlin Doughty is a very non-traditional mortician who has a whole series of YouTube videos where she answers questions about the death industry clearly and completely. I can't recommend her videos enough. Anyone who has any questions about the funeral industry, what happens after death or what your options are, please take a look at her video list and watch a few . This one is her ECO-DEATH TAKEOVER: Changing the Funeral Industry video.
She explains the differences in traditional and other options for burials.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWo2-LHwGMM

This site has good links too.
http://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/naturalburial
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Emma1817 Oct 2019
Excellent! I look forward to learning more. It seems so natural, so civilized, and certainly kinder to the environment. And cheaper! I am constantly appalled to learn how much people have paid for all the rigmarole and unnecessary frills that are part of a “normal” funeral. And the very idea of a corpse on view seems the very nadir of bad taste. They always look like they were made out of wax.
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Emma,
My family buries our Loved ones old school. We are Indian (Native American, we are not politically correct), and when one passes on, once the coroner has declared their death, the next morning early a hole is dug, they are wrapped in blankets, and they are lowered in a hole, and covered, two large sticks are stuck in the ground for a marker and that is how we go about it. No embalming, no funeral directors, no services unless the person wanted something said. And we have a family cemetery that we all will go in, on our property. To me this seems easier on the ones left behind to be able to begin healing quicker rather than waiting for a long drawn out process.
However for my Dad, My DH and i made a marker with his name and such, as I will also for my Mom. But usually no headstones are made, just markers.
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Emma1817 Oct 2019
That sounds so authentic and lovely.
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My friend's dad was buried "green". My understanding is that you can only be buried on your own property. That was in Pennsylvania and it was a farm with many acres.
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Emma1817 Oct 2019
Since posting my query, I did some Googling, and it turns out many states have green cemeteries. My state is not one of them, alas, but then perhaps it will by the time I need a plot. I surely hope others reading this thread will consider this! So much wasted cement for the vaults, copper, iron, and brass that don’t disintegrate, such nasty chemicals...
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There is a place near where I live that allows green burials.

But cremation is much more common where I live than any form of burial.

i will be cremated.
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Why not? There is so much waste in this world. So many unnatural chemicals everywhere. So much pollution. I hate it. Our sea life is destroyed on a daily basis. I avoid as much plastic crap as I can. I prefer glass or stainless steel.

I think a green funeral sounds lovely.
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I believe the simpler the better. I will choose cremation and no fancy box. I would like my ashes scattered.

I admire those who may choose a green burial. Personally although I realize there is no awareness I am not fond of the idea of what prey there might be out there possibly consuming me. But that is my opinion and I feel each person should have the right to do with their remains as desired.

My parents came from very different backgrounds. On my father's side there is always a casket,a wake the whole 9 yards. On my mother's side everyone is cremated. Many of those have their ashes interred but I don't want that.

There is one plot left for my husband next to family. He won't make up his mind. He would like me to join him but I refuse. I don't particularly care for the area where his parents are. I know this is all pointless to stress about but I also don't want our children to have to make this pilgrimage to this state which is not near any of them. I have made my wishes known and even said what song I would like played as they release the ashes.
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RebeccaPayne Oct 2019
Would you mind telling us what songs you are considering? Thank you in advance!
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Would love it if you do a bit of exploring in your area and let us know about costs. It is done more and more frequently and there are green cemeteries. They have no markings of tombstones and etc.
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I watch a lot of Acorn TV which most is filmed in England. When they have a funeral, the coffin is like those old pine boxes. Maybe with a little finish.

You need to check ur state laws but I don't think you need to be embalmed. Just may have to have the funeral right away. You don't need a viewing or a service as such. I see more and more people having graveside services. The coffin doesn't have to be water proof since by law (were I live anyway because of the water table) the grave has to have a liner. I see more and more cremation with a Memorial service at a different time. You don't even need a funeral director according to a TV show I watched. It can be done like it was years ago.

Me, still deciding about cremation. I do know I do not want a viewing or a service. If I am buried, just a graveside service.
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Zdarov Oct 2019
joann, I’m an Acorn watcher too! 😊
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My daughter wants to be a tree.

https://www.thelivingurn.com/pages/tree-zip-code?gclid=Cj0KCQjw6KrtBRDLARIsAKzvQIF5-NjrmcrKVA4wndEKR0iBPD48JMk8dqcHg2EUlWmVzdePPzb4di4aArh2EALw_wcB
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emma, good thread, yes hopefully it gets a few more people thinking about such options!
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Any kind of funeral and burial will cost a fortune--a minimum of $8,000 (more or less); public viewings are illegal without embalming fluid due to risk of infection. The only more affordable means of disposing of remains is through cremation. In Florida they put the body in deep freeze for 72 hours before cremation. While this sounds pretty ugly, so is burial. I got my mom cremated for $800. I did not like that, but a burial of any kind would have cost about $8,000 and that's a dirt cheap one. When a person dies, they are gone. So funerals are really for the living. If money is an issue, burials will put a person into debt very quickly. I paid homage to my mom every single day while she was alive and took care of her every need and I made her very comfortable. So when she died, I felt I did my duty without a single regret. And I just have to move on with my own life because that is exactly what she wanted.
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Yes, just yesterday in our church we began a “green” funeral/burial for one of our members. It does save a lot of money, but I’d rather talk about the other benefits: the love and care shown toward the deceased person and the family when church members lovingly, prayerfully, and respectfully prepare the body (and have a family member participate if they wish); the growth in closeness to God when we realize that each one of us will reach the place where the deceased person is now (physical death); the spiritual benefit of hearing Psalms spoken at vigil until the time for the funeral to start. Then the funeral service itself has such an impact on our spirits and souls. Next, the solemn procession with hymns sung as we walk to the cemetery (next to our church) and again seeing the reality of life/death as we commit our loved one to God into the earth, say farewell, and then watch or participate in the awesome shoveling of the earth back into the grave. All of this is surrounded in constant prayers (and silently within our hearts).
Yesterday we prepared the body of a sweet lady, where she lies now before the Royal doors of our church altar. This morning will be the funeral. After the burial we will have a mercy meal which we began preparing last night.

it is a privilege to be part of this whole thing. It draws us closer to each other, helps us to live considerately toward one another and to evaluate where our values lie in this world.
I wholeheartedly endorse green burial. More details of the whole process can be found on the website WWW.ACHRISTIANENDING.COM. There is also a book written with specific instructions, which our church has followed. My best to you!
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lindabf Oct 2019
What a wonderful description of a loving and respectful goodbye! I will check out that website. Thank you!
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The lawyer who did our will and other documents died recently. He was buried in a wicker basket in a casket shape, no embalming. The family honored his request in this. There was only one local cemetery that would allow his burial on their grounds.
I fully agree with those who despise the funeral industry. I’ve seen them prey on people at their most vulnerable time. I hated my mother’s funeral, it was handled by my dad who loves a big funeral. I spent the day repeating under my breath “can this just end?” Loved my mother dearly, still miss her daily, just didn’t need the production
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OMG! Yes!

I have my husband in a biodegradable urn - from The Living Urn (dot) com and found them to be the most reasonable and easy to work with. You can get it with or without a tree to be planted with the ashes.

You will still need to have the body cremated but most funeral homes now have their own crematorium. I believe the cremation was $1500 and the Urn was under $200 with a tree.

Be aware, you will be asked about embalming but if you're doing cremation, you don't need to embalm. You don't have to have a viewing unless you want it; I didn't do it for my DH because he outlived his peers and most of his family - but I discussed it with him first. He was already gone and no viewing was easier on me since I have trouble remembering names and didn't really feel like hearing a bunch of strangers telling me how sorry they were.

And, you don't have to have anyone dig the hole - you can dig it yourself. A biodegradeable urn is allowed on your own property or you can get a "plot" in a cemetery. We already had a double plot for caskets and I was told that I'm allowed to dig a hole and place his ashes myself. Our tombstone has been in place since 2011.
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My whole birth family had the big Catholic funerals, layouts and all that jazz. Having left the church some time ago I opted to be of some help after I was gone. So I chose to donate my body to the U.C. (Cincinnati) Med School. No muss, no fuss, no cost. The even cremate you for your family before your return. My granddaughter who is in charge of all that stuff says she is going to plant me with a tree. Fine with me!
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Cremations are simpler and more green. You don't need to do a visitation or "lying out" for the deceased. Both my grandparents were cremated. We scattered their ashes in the ocean. In our area, near Tampa, you can have your remains placed in an urn that is then located to help our coral beds have something to latch onto. I also have read that there are urns you can plant that will grow trees.
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I used to tell my love ones to deal with my body any way they wished. Now,after FIL had cremation and no visitation, just some prayer before receiving the ashes, I'm telling them to do that. It was not stressful, not expensive, and just a nice thing. Also,the first price for cremation was between 3K and 4K. When we said that we would go elsewhere, the price came down to $1100.
As for the green aspect, I like the idea of being buried under a tree.
I always tell my DH that I will honor him by taking his ashes on a first class flight to one of his faraway favorite places. He says he would rather do that before he is ashes!
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My parents prepaid for cremation and asked for no funeral. My sister wished her ashes to be mixed with our parents' and spread over the nearby mountains. That's what I will do for them, but I want a mushroom wrap for myself.
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The “greenest” I got was I donated my mother’s body to a whole body donation, such as MedCur and I will be donated to ScienceCare I think the name is.
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My husband died two months ago and he was cremated. I was with him when he died and except for the aide who was with me that night, no one else saw the body. About an hour after he died, two people came to take his body. They asked me if I wanted to remain in the room while he was "wrapped" and I did not, although I held the door open as he was carried out to a van. The next day my son and I went to the office where I signed papers. The cost was $1650 including six death certificates. My husband and I had discussed this before he passed and although we are strong Christians (pastored a church and traveled as missionaries), we decided that we did not want a funeral. He was in heaven and the body was only the shell he had lived in here on earth. We compared it to a baby chick leaving the shell. If we had a funeral, it would have been attended by hundreds of people. It would have been a "production" with a slide how, special music, printed programs, a receiving line and the vast majority who would have attended were going to be those who had never visited him during the 27 months he was at home on hospice. In Tennessee the ashes can only be given to a relative to dispose of. The cremation company cannot dispose of or keep the ashes. This would have been difficult for me without my son who is a pastor and carried them (in a box) to West Virginia where my husband grew up and scattered them into a river. This was what my husband requested. Next weekend my immediate family (our three children, their spouses, our six grandchildren and our four great-grandchildren along with my husband's brother and nephew) are going to gather for a family reunion and a time of remembrance. We will meet at my daughter's home and spend the weekend together. No "outsiders" will be invited....only family. Perhaps this isn't for everyone, but for our family it works. Planning a full-scaled funeral right after someone dies is really difficult emotionally and super expensive. But to each his own. I thought I would write this just so people know that you don't have to have a big funeral and go into debt. I'm sure that people may have criticized us for making the choice that we did (especially as Christians), but Jesus didn't have a large funeral. He was buried quickly the same day he died. And then He rose and went to heaven. And I know that my husband is in heaven and he really didn't need his body anymore. Blessings to all.
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TXGirl82 Oct 2019
@KnoxvilleJean What a lovely way to honor your late husband's memory. I'm sorry for your loss, but rejoice with you that he is now with the Lord. Thank you so much for sharing this.
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