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Hey all! So here's the scoop- my grandma (83 years old) recently had gotten the stomach flu from my dad (which is VERY unsympathetic and rough with her if he helps her at all), fell trying to go to the bathroom on her own, and broke her pelvis (or hip?) I called her head nurse anonymously while she was hospitalized and strongly suggested that they put her in a rehab otherwise she will not try to walk on her own, they sent her home anyways. She doesn't eat hardly a cup of food a day (she says she just never hungry) and doesn't drink much water either, she woke up at 1:30am after being sent home, she was throwing up and had severe diarrhea again, I just need some sort of opinion on how to help her because she doesn't even want nurses coming in the house to help her with PT, I cannot talk to my dad about what to do because he's more worried about $$ than her and he might kick me out (I live in his basement) if I go against his word. I'm just at the point where I'm trying to figure out my life (I'm 19), clean my dad's entire house after her being sick (because he refuses to), help my grandma 24/7 all at the same time and it feels like I'm the only one worried about her..


ANY help is appreciated!!! 😣

Call APS pronto. They can and will keep your name out of the report, although your dad may suss out fairly quickly that you were the one who called.

And, no, you cannot force anyone into rehab. my mother went to a rehad facility after a hip replacement and she simply refused to comply. They sent her home and she was slightly better with in home PT, but not that much.

SOunds like grandma needs to love someplace safer, and so do you!
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Reply to Midkid58
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Call APS tomorrow morning to report an elder adult at risk. You say Dad is “rough with her.” Is he physically abusing her? At the least he is neglecting her. Does she have what she needs or is your father stealing her money as well? You need to protect your grandma and you can’t do that from the basement. You must get the authorities involved.

Do you have friends or any other family you can move in with? Do you have a job or are you still in school? Having to clean house is no tragedy and if you live there for free, Dad might figure you owe him. Make sure you wear latex gloves when you clean up after grandma and use a bleach/water mix. If she’s not wearing Depends, maybe she should be?
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Bluebootedcats Dec 16, 2018
In the hospital he said "i'm going to be f**ked if anything happens to her, she gives me about $700/mo for bills"

I do not have a job but I get food stamps/free insurance through the state. And i understand cleaning up isn't a tragedy but i think it's ridiculous that he won't help whatsoever.

I am also paying rent to live here but i've been looking at apartments for the past month.
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If it’s a pelvic fracture often there is no treatment as it’s incredibly painful to move or do PT. Pain relief and rest are recommended.
A hip fracture is totally different. PT is quite beneficial to achieve maximum recovery.
OP doesn’t say her GM had surgery, therefore I am thinking it’s a pelvic fracture. Not much rehab can do for this.
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Reply to Shane1124
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First, she could have rehab at no cost for 20 days paid by Medicare in a facility. After that its 50% from 21 to 100 days. Homecare is a little different but Medicare pays.

None of Gmas care needs to come out of Dads pocket. If Gma can't afford care past what Medicare pays, she can apply for Medicaid. You nor your Dad can be held financially responsible for Gmas care.

Breaking a hip in the elderly is very serious. Her appetite being almost nonexistent is serious. Her throwing up and having diarrhea will cause dehydration which is serious. If she starts acting strange, not making sense, for one thing, call 911. Once dehydrated she needs a hospital. Once in the hospital, you can tell the Scial Worker she should not return home and why. Maybe they can get her into LTC, even if only for a short time until she is stronger.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Bluebootedcats Dec 16, 2018
I'm just not sure how to get her to eat or drink more water, even if i bring it up she gets very irritated and tells me to leave her alone/get off her back.
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Call Adult Protective Services, Elder Abuse hotline, or something similar. You know this is not right and your hands are tied. Take it to a higher authority!
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Reply to surprise
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I'm not sure I understand:

Why call the nurse anonymously?

How could she have been sent home if her hip was broken? Many people refuse rehab but staff and doctor's usually find a way to convince them to have rehab. Without rehab and with a broken hip your grandma will most likely never walk again. I can't understand why she would be discharged.
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Reply to Eyerishlass
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JoAnn29 Dec 16, 2018
Because Gma refused to go. You cannot make someone go to rehab.
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