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Every time I see my nan she tells me something horrific that had just happened to her. Other than some hallucinations of seeing people, everything is about something that happened the previous nights. She is completely bed bound so it is really hard to divert her attention. She is fixated on telling what has happened. She has been 'locked in a morgue for 4 days' been kidnapped, burgled, poisoned, shot at, hit over the head with a brick, my grandad who has been dead for 21yrs 'was never dead in the first place and has married someone else and had a daughter. She cries as she has disfigured children/immergrant starving children she is desperate to help hiding in her room. People are trying to kill her. She has been on a boat that has blown up. She has been on the news and in newspapers and she is now worried about my safety. As you can see, it is never a normal situation, such as losing a purse that I can reassure we will find together. I don't try to tell her it hasn't happened, but try to reassure her everything is ok now and that she is safe. I hold her hand and tell her how much I love her and that I won't let anyone hurt her. She will not be distracted I've tried photos, old stories etc. I'm at my wits end. When I leave she gets upset as she doesn't understand how I could leave her there with all these things happening to her. I would appreciate any advise. I really don't understand why it is all so frightening and violent.

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This must be so frightening to her. I would immediately contact her doctor. I would try to determine what is causing her change in mental status. It could be the dementia, but it could also be a UTI, medication interaction, or something else. Once that is confirmed, I would discuss a medication to help relieve her anxiety. Her symptoms sound so severe. I would treat this as an emergency.
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You're doing the right thing in not contradicting her and by supporting her and reassuring her that she's safe.

I agree with Sunnygirl. See about getting your grandmother some anti-anxiety medication so she doesn't have to continually go through all of this. To her these things are very real and this needs to be taken care of as soon as possible.
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Is anyone in the family responsible for her, or the ones who take her to the doctor? From my experience, it could be that she's got dementia now, and there can be a period of time when dementia shows these symptoms. The 'help' for her would be some appropriate medications to take away these symptoms until she is past this stage. Until that can happen, it is difficult to visit and listen to the horrible stories that seem so real. When my Dad was going through this period, I simply went along with his concerns and tried to relieve his anxious thoughts by 'investigating' and helping to 'get rid' of whatever was threatening to him. Sometimes, I would listen and then would GENTLY suggest that perhaps it was all a dream, since we couldn't find 'the dead body' or whatever was so upsetting to him, and we could get him to agree that he guessed he was dreaming, just as an example. But we never would tell him he was wrong, or imagining things etc, because that would make him even more upset and agitated. Imagine how scary it would be for you to have such thoughts, and then start to realize that your brain was not working right and you could not even control such things happening to you...and your loved ones were telling you that none of it was happening when it seemed so real to you?? The fear that you were 'crazy' and out of control would make it all so much worse. Meds are the answer. And a good doctor to be looking for, if her regular doctor doesn't seem to know what to do, is a geriatric psychiatrist (they specialize in dementias and what drugs and activities help) or a neurologist. Perhaps it is time to work on a future plan, since everyone is just finding out it's dementia. There are stages of this disease and each one brings different behaviors and problems with it. It's good to learn more about it, and plan for future caregiving needs for Grandma.
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Hi, you sound like you are being very caring and reassuring to her! Hopefully, like Sunnygirl said, something is going on that can be easily treated with medication.

However if she has been evaluated for the other things Sunnygirl mentioned and doctor has ruled those out, one thing that might help is knowing if there is a specific diagnosis for the dementia. With Lewy Body Dementia, for instance, often the person will have very vivid and intense dreams, which the person has a difficult time distinguishing from waking life. It is important for the doctor to narrow down what the cause of the disturbances are because some medications prescribed for other forms of dementia will actually worsen symptoms for Lewy Body patients. Is she seeing things when you are there, or has she always experienced these things in the past tense? Also are you visiting right after she has napped or slept? Another thing is that often around dusk dementia patients will get much more agitated so if you and other vsitors are noticing a pattern with timing at all it might help the doctor figure out what's going on.

I'm so sorry this is happening to your nan. And I know it is very difficult to hear someone you care about describe something like that. It is really nice that you are there for her!!!
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I second everything the others said here. Sounds like you are handling it well; also sounds like an emergency.

When my mom had hallucinations from medication, many others told me their loved ones had had them, too. Personally, I would use the Internet to check side effects and interaction of every med she's taking before I let them add another drug.
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