My grandma had left side stroke and refuses to eat and drink water all the time. What should we do?

Can you use a medication syringe to give her small amounts of Ensure by mouth?

Where are you located?

She may not even understand the need for food or drink, especially if her comprehension has been affected. The natural instinct for food and drink could also be compromised since she can't talk, and there may be some compromise of her vocal chords.

I think you might be facing tube feeding, and might need to consider as Pam suggests whether this is time for hospice. Does she have a DNR? Would she want to live this way? Or is she getting therapy and is there hope for recovery?

I'm sorry for you and your family; this must be a very emotional time for you.

Hospice is unlikely to initiate tube feeding and it should not be forced on her. refusing nourishment at the end of life is an expected progression so be prepared that this is what is happening. DNR is a Do not resuscitate order. Does some one have POA ( the ability to make decisions for her) it definitely sounds time for hospice. Ask for them to be called in and be guided by their experience.

As a person gets closer to the end their bodily functions begin to shut down, she is not hungry because her body can not process the food any more. It is one of life's mercies that the desire to east diminishes at this time because eating when the digestion has slowed and the kidneys and organs are slowing down can cause painful side effects. It is hard to see our loved ones pushing away the food we give them because food is so tied up with the idea of loving, caring and nurturing, we know that we must eat to live and to stop is to admit that life is coming to an end. I'm sorry you didn't get the answers you were hoping for, but it seems to me your grandmother is preparing to let go of this life and the best way to help her is to accept that and concentrate on making her final days comfortable.

Little Princes, things seem to have improved for Gma for the time being.
As you feel no one has answered your original question I feel it is appropriate for me to add more.
First of all Gma may be continuing to have small strokes and refusing to eat may be part of that progression which is why she refused food for a time.
Food in liquid form and be put in her mouth if nessesary by force, she may swallow it or spit it out or simply let it sit in her mouth. You said the Dr would not agree to tube feeding but that is a possible solution. There is TPN (Total Parental Nutrition which is an IV type of feeding where a large IV tube is placed into a large veiin the chest. This is a minor procedure and can be done at the bedside but not continued for too long because of the danger of infection. After that it is changed to tube feeding either via a nasal tube which can be placed by a nurse and is a simple but not very pleasant procedure. Long term it is uncomfortable for the nose but can satisfy all nutritional needs. The food can stay in her stomach and not be processed if her body is shutting down. The nurses will check for residue before each feed and reduce the amount they give. She can vomit this with the danger of aspiration into her lungs leading to pneumonia. After that a permanent tube can be placed in the gut via an incision in the belly. This is a simple procedure but will be done with sedation in a proceedure room under X-ray check. An Interventional Radiologist will do this.
This type of feeding can continue indefinitely but the tube needs to be changed about every three months in the hospital. The downside to this is again infection, the tube easily clogs and the patient can get painful cramps and diarrhea

Grandma may want Hospice. Ask her. If she says yes, respect her decision.

LP; are you in charge of grandma's care, by any chance? If you are, you really REALLY need to sit down with the Hospice nurse and Social worker. Get them to explain to you if you should be trying to get Grandma to eat. From what you describe, getting her to eat would not just be counterproductive, it would be torture.

As the body enters the "active dying" phase, it can't process food any longer. If you don't understand, or don't believe what we're all trying to tell you--which is NOT to try to force food into Grandma--please get the Hospice nurse to explain it better than we can.

And the phrase is "if you can't say something NICE...." CWillie and Veronica are VERY smart and telling you very smart things. For whatever reason, you're not able or ready to take it in.

I'm very sorry that your Grandmother is in such sad shape. Right now, this is out of human hands. Sit with grandma, pray with her and sing with her. She may recover some of her skills, or not. But RIGHT NOW, feeding her is not the right thing to do.

I'm so glad that your grandmother is starting to eat more! That's wonderful news, LP. Be well.

I dont need fake gladness

The proceeding posted it self so this is a continuation.
There is still the danger of reflux, pneumonia and vomiting. some of the formulas cute a lot of nausea and a pump need to be used so this restricts independent walking which in Gmas case would not matter. While feeding the patient needs to remain at a 30 degree angle to prevent reflux. These feedings usually take many hours but are easy to manage at home. Hospice will usually allow these to continue as they are paid by Medicare which by the way only approves about 25% of orders for tube feeding.
As long as you can encourage Gma to eat at least small amounts that is the best source but may mean a relative has to be there for every meal.
As for not receiving replied to your specific answers to your original question this was because people on the site experienced caregivers and health care professionals try not to give advice that they feel is not in the best interests of the patient rather point the caregiver to resources where than get help.
I forgot to add that food can allways be administered by enema as it is to prisoners who are on a hunger strike which i am sure you would not want for your loved one. i hope this make clear the alternatives for someone who can not or chooses not to eat.
You also mentioned that Gma can not communicate.If you ask her a question can she indicate yes or no by blinking an eye or squeezing your hand. if she does not seem to hear can you write simple questions in the same way. maybe even write out possible answers if she can still point with her good hand. As with any tube there is always the danger of pulling them out painful or not.
Think first and foremost what is best for Gm's quality of life not what the family would like to happen.