My mom is 92 yrs old. She has congestive heart failure,collapsed lung,edema,on oxygen & is currently in a nursing home for rehab. Her grandchildren visit & put up her hopes of going home. There is so much red tape to everything that we don't see this happening without 24/7 care. We were told it would cost 3,000 a month for in home care. The grandchildren to not understand what is all involved & once mom is home (if possible) the worries would be on her children & we have the fear of the oxygen (c pap) that she has to wear at night. My mom is of very sound mind but does not have the concept of what all is involved. We want her to come home but us children have to many concerns. We checked into assisted living, but its getting thrown aside because of the grandkids giving her hopes on going home.
Sit down with the grands and find out which of their homes grandma is moving into, or how they are going to arrange which ones of them will be on call 24/7 for the inevitable emergencies.
Also, make sure that they are actually saying these things, and that gma is not playing the generations against each other.
It's easy to encourage someone that home care is desirable when those providing the encouragement aren't going to be doing the daily work, so let them help.
It's interesting, whenever I read "grandchildren" I tend think of kids still in school... but if Grandmother is 92, that means one of the grandchildren would be 52 years old. These grandchildren should be old enough to understand how much basic care there might be, that is if this "home" idea was really theirs and not Grandmother's idea.
If it was the Grandchildren's idea, set it up for one of the Grandchildren to stay with Grandmother 24 hours at the nursing home to get the full view of what is really involved. It would be a real eye opener compared to an hour visit here and there.