Grandkids of my mother telling her that she should be at home, so now this is stuck in her mind.

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My mom is 92 yrs old. She has congestive heart failure,collapsed lung,edema,on oxygen & is currently in a nursing home for rehab. Her grandchildren visit & put up her hopes of going home. There is so much red tape to everything that we don't see this happening without 24/7 care. We were told it would cost 3,000 a month for in home care. The grandchildren to not understand what is all involved & once mom is home (if possible) the worries would be on her children & we have the fear of the oxygen (c pap) that she has to wear at night. My mom is of very sound mind but does not have the concept of what all is involved. We want her to come home but us children have to many concerns. We checked into assisted living, but its getting thrown aside because of the grandkids giving her hopes on going home.

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I agree with Babalou above about the cost of having 24 hour, 7 days a week in-home caregivers. I had that for my Dad and it was costing him $20,000 per month, and that was without any type of specialized nursing duties.

It's interesting, whenever I read "grandchildren" I tend think of kids still in school... but if Grandmother is 92, that means one of the grandchildren would be 52 years old. These grandchildren should be old enough to understand how much basic care there might be, that is if this "home" idea was really theirs and not Grandmother's idea.

If it was the Grandchildren's idea, set it up for one of the Grandchildren to stay with Grandmother 24 hours at the nursing home to get the full view of what is really involved. It would be a real eye opener compared to an hour visit here and there.
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Blannie and Bablou...well, I had great ideas to start from with your posts!
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Great plan, GA!
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Time for a family counsel. Give Grandkids all the gory medical details and ask which one of them is going to move in and change the diaper. Then give them constructive ways to talk to her, to cheer her up. They may even tell you they are not encouraging the move home. It may be grandma's delusion or attempt to manipulate you. Search "divide and conquer" on this site.
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Great idea GardenArtist!!
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Combine suggestions from both Blannie and Babalou, make a list of the tasks that will need to be done to provide home care, and ask the grandchildren to decide how much money and time they will provide.

It's easy to encourage someone that home care is desirable when those providing the encouragement aren't going to be doing the daily work, so let them help.
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24/7 in home care is going to cost a lot more than 3000 a month! Even if you could find someone to live in at $10. an hour, that would be 7500 a month at least. And you can't find reliable care at that price, so double that number. My mom is in a nice but not fancy NH, $12000 a month, private pay.

Sit down with the grands and find out which of their homes grandma is moving into, or how they are going to arrange which ones of them will be on call 24/7 for the inevitable emergencies.

Also, make sure that they are actually saying these things, and that gma is not playing the generations against each other.
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Can the adult children (parents of the grandchildren) sit down with the grandchildren and explain the real facts of life about grandmother going home? If grandmother is well loved by them, I can see how they idealize the idea of her going back home and share with her to keep her spirits up. The tough reality may be beyond their understanding without a real sit-down discussion. Ask them to do some things for grandmother, so they see how limited she is in her abilities and how much help she needs.
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