Going "off grid" and nervous

Is it perhaps time for palliative care and " do not transport" orders?

Two tears ago, my brother and i were both going to be far-away on vacations. We had a long hard conversation about mom ( vascular dementia, chf, pleural effusions, several bouts of pneomia eac year). Each hospitalization made her worse. Although she is eligible for hospice, we're not there yet. We made sure that NH understood that they should treat what they could in-house, and if mom was in significant pain and or distress, morphine was available.

It isn't a perfect solution, but we're finding that it's mostly about " good enough" at this stage of the game. We're no longer treating things, we're managing her conditions. Less is more.

Oh for heaven's sake, you aren't off climbing mt everest or sailing the seven seas, whatever emergency might arise can certainly be dealt with until you can check your messages once a day. We all managed just fine 10 years ago in the days before everyone was expected to be instantly available, people are so plugged in today it borders on the ridiculous.

What CW just said. Only I was going to be a bit more wishy-washy about it!

well, like last time, they called and were going to send her to the hospital and I said "NO". I will talk to the social worker there and see what they suggest, maybe they have forms for me to sign to keep them covered.

Make sure the hospital DNR is in place and write instructions about what is or is not to be done. For example if she has a stroke do not transport but if she gashes her head open, needs sutures and there is no one available to take care of styes take her to the ER.
Seriously consider hospice because this will give you another set of eyes to watch and staff will call their nurse when there is an accident and the nurse will probably go to the ER and advocate for Mom. Hospice nurses can be like Mama bears protecting their patient's rights.
You don't have to wait to call hospice you are already doing palliative care they won't do anything different.
Enjoy your trip and don't worry about what might happen. It will happen anyway whether you are home or not.
Leave a message where you are staying about your daily plans and the police will probably come and find you. Everything will be OK, just relax.

Do a set of Advanced Directives with the nursing home. You can check the box that says "no transport to hospitals" . Mom had all the boxes checked, no feeding tubes, no IV, no CPR, no respirators etc. She'd had enough poking and prodding.

ok thank you all. She is not hospice ready for sure, not 'late' stage, just 'later'... stil ambulatory and thats why she keeps falling.
the time she cut her head is when i said no to the hospital- she was perfectly fine, they just needed the permission not to, and treat "in house".
but i will check on all the other things you mentioned .
lol about police

I'll tell you, I was shocked when the NH told me that they thought my mom was "hospice eligible". I thought she was "no where near" that stage. But she was. And still is.

they found her laying on the floor with a head injury this morning, who knows how long she was there..... 'she's fine" they said when they called at 1pm.
this is the type of stuff I will be (possibly) not getting the calls for. They asked if there is someone else to contact when i am gone - Ha thats a joke.
I have asked twice for a form to sign for the dr about not transporting her unless emergency. this all bites.

Sure takes the fun out of any anticipated holiday :(
((hugs))

Mica, talk to the DON and or administrator. Explain that there is no one else to delegate to.

My brothers' and my feeling is that if mom is gonna die, she's gonna die, with or without us there. We all know that each goodbye could be the last one. Sorry if that sounds cold, but it's the way it is.

thanks guys, yes its definitely not a great thing to have on my mind right now.
How long was she laying there? oh well.
Baba- not cold, just real. It's the inbetween time that is difficult.... thank goodness my dad went quickly.... I wish he would just 'grab' her and take her too (ya right) They know there is no one else (even though there sort of is) because no one else calls or visits.