Receiving treatment for pneumonia, on dialysis, kidneys shut down, but could come back. Mentally is still sharp, but wants to give up. Says she is a burden. My brother is caregiver and does not see her as a burden, there every day to help with her care.
She could recover and go home and with physical therapy be in better shape then prior to hospitalization. She says she'll accept treatment one day, then she changes her mind. Without dialysis she will poison herself and not have her mental ability. We believe she can have a good worthwhile existence and she is instead choosing to die.
What can you say to someone in this situation. How do you cope with this decision?
Tell her how much you love her and don't want to let her go, but do it with physical contact. Don't just sit in a chair or stand at the bedside. Sit beside her put your arms around and say it with true meaning.
This is a decision only she can make but now may not be the best time to make it. She is totally exhausted from being extremely ill in a hospital. little sleep, nauseated, hooked up to everything imaginable, a nurse fiddling with something all the time, having the dialysis, on and on. she just wants it to be OVER. the one thing she can control is stopping everything.
My approach and it is only MY thoughts on the subject is to buy some time. Ask her if she is prepared to stay the course until the pneumonia is better and come home but continue dialysis if necessary from home. This will be totally exhausting for everyone concerned and tell her she can stop at any time and you will have hospice come in then and expect her to pass within two weeks. She wont be inclined to eat much or drink so offer but don't push. try and get her to commit to a time frame and then make her decision. A month would be a good time but if she clearly is not making progress and I mean medically then let her go.it is the kindest thing to do and she will do it with her loved ones at her side. Blessings
The one thing I would try to convince her of is that she is not a burden to others, and that no one hopes she will be gone soon. Whatever decision she makes she makes for herself ... she cannot control how other people feel.
Is she depressed? Is she on medication for depression?
I am so sorry you are facing this situation.