I am so sorry HappyCity, I wholeheartedly agree with Rainmom. My full grown, senior chihuahua, 3lbs total is 13 yrs. old, and aging..........not fun to watch, and little creatures get so attached to us, their owners/mommies. Think of, when mom passes, what is / how is going the little one to feel? When MIL passed, her dog went into a nervous breakdown, seriously. And he was not very old at all. He missed her horribly, and nobody was good enough for him.........he suffered to the point of losing all his gorgeous solid brilliant white hair *name was Whittey*, and all there was were pink skin, freckles and a bare tail............................................................. Poor Whittey, he was miserable. We brought him to our house, and in 10 minutes he had bitten thru the wooden fence to go gome *10 miles away *..................... Bleeding from the gums from the splinters, we drove him right back to his home. A neighbor volunteered to feed him, water him. Whittey was alone for 6 months............he could not stand it anywhere but at his house............... I am telling you........... Get mom (don't laugh) some stuffed animals. I got all my stuffed dolls and animals and MOM WANTED THEM IN HER ROOM..........................?????????????????? Ok, she has carefully placed them, and daily changes their "pose". Ok......whatever..........fine with me. They even make some pets that act like the real thing, for sure, they make babies, they look lifelike, and they take their bottle, and they need diaper change. Mom might like that???
Just thinking outloud............and sharing what did happen here.
No. Do not give her a dog. It would be a mistake. All cases are different, but a dog will be at her mercy and though you mean well, he would not be happy. He might trip her or cause her to have something tonworry about. My own aunt never thought tongive her belived dog water and rarely fed her. She held her constantly and forced her to go to bed when she went. Her dog was miserable. If you live with her and want another responsibility, or even if you dont, a person with dementia will not be capable of taking care of an animal. She might at first, but that would change. It's good you sought opinions. Dogs require daily exercise and can develop behavior problems. You would then be trying to rehome the dog and many people out there take themnto use as bait dogs for their pitbulls. Not all people are what they seem. I found music my mother loved. She needs human companionship. This isnt your Fault, bjt animal.companionship cannot replace human companionship.
HappyCityLady, thanks for giving us more information but please reread the postings above.... everyone has said getting a dog is NOT a good idea.
Unless you yourself are very young with a ton of energy, you will find that your Mom will need more and more of your time, medical issues can happen in a flash when one is in their 80's. All it takes is one major fall to turns things around.
Being your Mom has dementia, that means she will require more and more of your time. You would find yourself not being able to give the dog the needed time it needs. And with dementia there could be a stage where your Mom no longer likes the dog and will throw things at it. That's not fair to any pet.
Yes, your parents always had big dogs, back when they probably lived in a single family house and they themselves were much younger. Your Mom is now living in an apartment building, and she has dementia... a whole different ballgame.
I think that when most people consider pets, like dogs, for people with dementia, they are thinking that the dementia patient will maintain to a certain degree and appreciate the companionship of an animal. What the family member may not anticipate is how the dementia patient will change. It's not a pleasant thing to consider. I would never have guessed that my cousin would have become the way she was with her pet. It's important to look at the stages and how things may develop. Dementia isn't just forgetting information. It involves poor judgment and bizarre behavior too.
My cousin, who has dementia, loved her cat, but as her dementia progressed, she became obsessed with the cat and her behavior became extreme and troubling. It caused the cat to become anxious and she started spraying and not using its litter box. I had to return the cat to the no kill adoption center.
The patient can become aggressive and harm the animal as well. They can be loud and unpredictable too. I don't think it's fair to have a pet in that environment as it is very stressful on the pet. And finally, if the person progresses enough, they will not be aware that there is a pet in the home as they are not able to focus or process things about their surroundings.
It seems there are many negatives and few positives. If you want your mom to have positive stimulation from a dog, then what about having a friend bring their dog for visits or contact a Therapy Dog group to have them come to her?
Plus, as others have stated, if you are providing care in your home for a dementia patient, you barely have time to eat and potty yourself, let alone a pet. The person takes up so much time. Caring for a pet involves lots of things like exercise, socialization, vet care, grooming, etc. I would really consider the feasibility of it.
If your Mom is having a love affair with a Newfoundland dog, which is the size of a small pony, do you think your Mom would be happy with a dog that only weighs 10-15 lbs? She might be very disappointed.
If that isn't an issue, it's not which small breed to consider but more the personality of the dog. One thing I have noticed at my Dad's senior living facility, those who have small lap type dogs, my gosh those dogs can bark up a storm.
Another thing, the color of the dog. If you have beige carpets, do not get a beige color dog, he/she will blend in and your Mom may accidentally keep stepping on the dog, as someone who is in their mid to late 80's or 90's will have some type of seeing problem. We notice that with our black cats, they are hard to see when sleeping on the carpeted stairs or on the rugs when the room has dim light.
My cats didn't like it when my parents came over to visit once my parents started using canes, that sound on the main wood floor was scary to the cats. Plus we had to raise the volume on the TV to REALLY LOUD, and that would scatter everyone out of the room, including myself at times. A pet has superior hearing compared to us humans.
Hi HappyCityLady. Are you planning on taking on most of the care for the dog yourself in your home or would you be leaving the pet with your mother?
I have to echo the sentiments of others here regarding dementia patients and dogs...especially small ones. Though there are some breeds that tend to be calmer, remember that small dogs still need a considerable amount of care (and sometimes MORE attention because of their lap dog status).
Before my Dad was diagnosed, our beloved Yorkie suffered at the hand of dementia. Dad's sight also wasn't great, so Gizmo often got stepped on, wouldn't be fed or watered regularly, have repeated accidents in the house which Dad couldn't see or smell that would be walked through and tracked over the home...
and due to Dad's declining judgement reasoning, he would feed the dog harmful things (a large can of Pork and Beans isn't dog food), insist the dog was sick and give him adult medicine which would make him sick... it was awful.
It's ultimately up to you, but really consider the pros and cons of having a live animal (especially a small one) around a dementia patient for extended periods of time, especially if you're planning on leaving the animal unattended.
We're providing this advice in love. Good luck with your decision.
HappyCityLady - ...just asked who would be taking care of the dog after your mom passes - no hidden agenda- just information gathering. Okay - back to the topic - as I recently posted on a similar thread: My mom had a cat that she adored - to the point she devoted a lengthy paragraph in her DPOA papers regarding the care of the cat when she could no longer care for it. However, occasionally Kitty would accident scratch my mother - who has dementia - and it would just set mom off. My mother would chase the cat around her apartment intending to spank him! Thankfully Kitty was much faster than my mom. Also - when it became necessary to place my mom in a nursing home due to her increased, needed level of care, it became 100x more difficult for everyone because she couldn't take her cat. Lastly - there would be cat toys on the floor being a trip hazard but worst than that Kitty would purposely lay down in my mothers path when she was using her rolling walked - it's a miracle mom didn't trip on him and that she never ran him over. All these risk factors would apply to a small dog as well. This situation reminds me a bit of when a married couple has a baby to save their marriage- in most cases it only makes things more strained. There are dozens of great reasons to get a dog - providing companionship to an elderly person suffering from dementia isn't one of them - it's not fair to the dog. - Just my opinion, please don't take further offense.
Yes, we have a dog and my mom is completely uninterested in it. I would not ever get an animal or anything that requires more care at this point unless I were getting it for myself.
A few things to consider: small dogs get underfoot and they leave toys around. I have two miniature poodles who follow me from room to room, always. I have to be very careful I don't trip over them either standing behind me or lying in the middle of the floor. Also, as your mother's dementia progresses, she will change and your work load will get harder. Whether it would help your mother on a short term or long term basis is hard to tell since everyone is different. My mom used to have dogs when she was younger. Over the past 10 years, I brought one of my "girls" to visit her while she was in independent living and then in assisted living. (She had dementia which slowly grew worse) She paid attention to her for a few minutes, then sort of pushed her aside. When she went to a nursing home, I would bring my friendliest poodle who loved everyone. Mom barely paid attention to her. Some of the residents enjoyed petting her for a couple of minutes. Not to say your mother would be the same, just to say that was my experience with trying to get mom involved with something warm and fuzzy. I'm a major dog lover, and I suggest you do not get a dog, unless YOU want a dog for yourself. If you do get one, get an older one, rescue dog, very gentle and plan that you will care for and love that dog its whole life.
When MIL passed, her dog went into a nervous breakdown, seriously. And he was not very old at all. He missed her horribly, and nobody was good enough for him.........he suffered to the point of losing all his gorgeous solid brilliant white hair *name was Whittey*, and all there was were pink skin, freckles and a bare tail.............................................................
Poor Whittey, he was miserable.
We brought him to our house, and in 10 minutes he had bitten thru the wooden fence to go gome *10 miles away *.....................
Bleeding from the gums from the splinters, we drove him right back to his home.
A neighbor volunteered to feed him, water him.
Whittey was alone for 6 months............he could not stand it anywhere but at his house...............
I am telling you...........
Get mom (don't laugh) some stuffed animals.
I got all my stuffed dolls and animals and MOM WANTED THEM IN HER ROOM..........................??????????????????
Ok, she has carefully placed them, and daily changes their "pose". Ok......whatever..........fine with me.
They even make some pets that act like the real thing, for sure, they make babies, they look lifelike, and they take their bottle, and they need diaper change. Mom might like that???
Just thinking outloud............and sharing what did happen here.
M 8 8
Unless you yourself are very young with a ton of energy, you will find that your Mom will need more and more of your time, medical issues can happen in a flash when one is in their 80's. All it takes is one major fall to turns things around.
Being your Mom has dementia, that means she will require more and more of your time. You would find yourself not being able to give the dog the needed time it needs. And with dementia there could be a stage where your Mom no longer likes the dog and will throw things at it. That's not fair to any pet.
Yes, your parents always had big dogs, back when they probably lived in a single family house and they themselves were much younger. Your Mom is now living in an apartment building, and she has dementia... a whole different ballgame.
I think that when most people consider pets, like dogs, for people with dementia, they are thinking that the dementia patient will maintain to a certain degree and appreciate the companionship of an animal. What the family member may not anticipate is how the dementia patient will change. It's not a pleasant thing to consider. I would never have guessed that my cousin would have become the way she was with her pet. It's important to look at the stages and how things may develop. Dementia isn't just forgetting information. It involves poor judgment and bizarre behavior too.
My cousin, who has dementia, loved her cat, but as her dementia progressed, she became obsessed with the cat and her behavior became extreme and troubling. It caused the cat to become anxious and she started spraying and not using its litter box. I had to return the cat to the no kill adoption center.
The patient can become aggressive and harm the animal as well. They can be loud and unpredictable too. I don't think it's fair to have a pet in that environment as it is very stressful on the pet. And finally, if the person progresses enough, they will not be aware that there is a pet in the home as they are not able to focus or process things about their surroundings.
It seems there are many negatives and few positives. If you want your mom to have positive stimulation from a dog, then what about having a friend bring their dog for visits or contact a Therapy Dog group to have them come to her?
Plus, as others have stated, if you are providing care in your home for a dementia patient, you barely have time to eat and potty yourself, let alone a pet. The person takes up so much time. Caring for a pet involves lots of things like exercise, socialization, vet care, grooming, etc. I would really consider the feasibility of it.
If that isn't an issue, it's not which small breed to consider but more the personality of the dog. One thing I have noticed at my Dad's senior living facility, those who have small lap type dogs, my gosh those dogs can bark up a storm.
Another thing, the color of the dog. If you have beige carpets, do not get a beige color dog, he/she will blend in and your Mom may accidentally keep stepping on the dog, as someone who is in their mid to late 80's or 90's will have some type of seeing problem. We notice that with our black cats, they are hard to see when sleeping on the carpeted stairs or on the rugs when the room has dim light.
My cats didn't like it when my parents came over to visit once my parents started using canes, that sound on the main wood floor was scary to the cats. Plus we had to raise the volume on the TV to REALLY LOUD, and that would scatter everyone out of the room, including myself at times. A pet has superior hearing compared to us humans.
There's a lot to think about.
I have to echo the sentiments of others here regarding dementia patients and dogs...especially small ones. Though there are some breeds that tend to be calmer, remember that small dogs still need a considerable amount of care (and sometimes MORE attention because of their lap dog status).
Before my Dad was diagnosed, our beloved Yorkie suffered at the hand of dementia. Dad's sight also wasn't great, so Gizmo often got stepped on, wouldn't be fed or watered regularly, have repeated accidents in the house which Dad couldn't see or smell that would be walked through and tracked over the home...
and due to Dad's declining judgement reasoning, he would feed the dog harmful things (a large can of Pork and Beans isn't dog food), insist the dog was sick and give him adult medicine which would make him sick... it was awful.
It's ultimately up to you, but really consider the pros and cons of having a live animal (especially a small one) around a dementia patient for extended periods of time, especially if you're planning on leaving the animal unattended.
We're providing this advice in love. Good luck with your decision.
Whether it would help your mother on a short term or long term basis is hard to tell since everyone is different. My mom used to have dogs when she was younger. Over the past 10 years, I brought one of my "girls" to visit her while she was in independent living and then in assisted living. (She had dementia which slowly grew worse) She paid attention to her for a few minutes, then sort of pushed her aside. When she went to a nursing home, I would bring my friendliest poodle who loved everyone. Mom barely paid attention to her. Some of the residents enjoyed petting her for a couple of minutes. Not to say your mother would be the same, just to say that was my experience with trying to get mom involved with something warm and fuzzy.
I'm a major dog lover, and I suggest you do not get a dog, unless YOU want a dog for yourself. If you do get one, get an older one, rescue dog, very gentle and plan that you will care for and love that dog its whole life.
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