How can I get through to my Mom that you wear depends under your clothes?

My my no one is going to fool me that way. I already know which ones I like!!!!!!!

My mom resisted the Depends as well. I finally took them out of the packaging and stacked them in her underwear drawer. I took away all the old underwear (hid it), and said, "Look at the beautiful new underwear I bought for you." She went for it. I guess what I'm suggesting is to not refer to them as depends or adult diapers. She doesn't associate herself with needing help. She does associate herself with needing to wear underwear. By the way, I bought her the ones with the flexible tummy in peach. They are so pretty that she really likes them.

My mother would put my best washcloths inside the Depends so that they wouldn't get messed up. She has hemorrhoids and you can imagine the mess. I just threw the wash cloths away. When I discussed it with her, she wanted to save the money on the cost of the Depends. After I explained that the Depends were cheaper than a $5 washcloth,and that after she pooped on the washcloth I threw it away because it was disgusting for me to have to wash out the poo, she finally quit doing this and went to paper towels in the Depends. Still not the perfect answer, but better than ruining my good washcloths. Perhaps there's some reason in her head for wearing the Depends on the outside that you could talk her out of. My mother is still somewhat sane at times so I could reason with her.

Looking in the mirror doesn't tell them anything. They are losing their knowledge of everything.

Take her the doctor they way she dresses herself! Otherwise, the doctor will never know there is any problem with her!

That is just plain dementia! Doesn't she look in the mirror and she how wrong that looks?

Vitality Medical - anti- strip jumpsuits.

should've have read BuckAndBuck
Buck and Buck

You might try CareZips®.

You folks are the best. ♡Thanks for always being here for us. So great to have a go to place for answers even if we aren't having an issue at that time . We're not alone .♡

You might only asking her to wear skirts. You may have to gently remove all the trousers and pants she would want to wear. Have 'em handy in case the skirts don't work.

katnmouse, buckandbuck has a lot of one-piece adaptive clothing for men. They have onesies too.

Stop fixating on stupid stuff. Just let her wear the Depends with a mumu and change them often since she is getting UTIs. Ask the doctor for the resistant new antibiotic ZERBAXA if she is getting several UTIs. Add some yogurt without sugar to her diet too. Let go of you trying to control her. You will be happier.

I agree with the suggestion for the onsies. Finding them for female is MUCH easier then men. Anyone with a resource for male onsies?

Hiding the undies is a good idea. No matter what type of dementia a person has, there is always the possibility of behavioral issues. It's difficult to begin something new such as wearing depends. Call them underware, or what ever your mom called them, that may help. Also contact your local Area Agency on Aging or Bureau of Senior Services, they have programs that if your mom qualifies, she could receive some in home help. They also have caregiver services you could benefit from. If one thing doesn't work, try something else. Take care of yourself first or you won't be able to care for her. Make sure you have a waterproof mattress pad on the bed under the sheet and use either the washable pads or the disposable pads (chucks) on top in case of leaks. Hope the suggestion works, just keep trying.

Had the same issue with my mother. She would always put on her panties and then the depends. Said she was embarrassed to wear the depends and this made her feel more "normal". Finally had to hide/throw away all of her undies! They were so stained anyway. She wears only the depends now.

Agree depends can be uncomfortable so would she keep them on it she had a pair of cotton panties underneath? I know it is extra laundry but would cut down on what you have to do now. How about thin pyjama pants underneath at least at home and slip on a wrap around skirt when you go out. If you use a skirt/dress when you are not watching her my guess is she will just tuck it into the Depends.
To the person with the puddles on the floor would your loved one use a comode if placed at the bedside. Otherwise keep a mop and bucket close by and mop your way in. if you have carpet or hard wood but a piece of linolium as big as the room and just mop that. You can staple it down round the edges if necessary. protect the matress with a waterproof cover and buy a vinyl covered chair if he sits in the room. You can throw a washable blanket over it.

No, it is not funny, but sometimes you have to laugh to keep from going nuts. With that in mind, here's my story. My father in law did not have dementia, but he needed to wear depends. Thing was he wanted to sit around in them and and a t-shirt in front of everyone. He didn't care who came in. His wife let him get away with it, but my husband had a fit and made him quit doing it. Maybe he DID have dementia because I can't imagine anyone in their right mind acting like that.

Peaceandlove, I found an adult onsie garment on Preventawear that works great for keeping incontinent briefs out of reach. They have several anti-strip undergarments available.

PeaceandLove, I had to wear such a product after having surgery in case there were oops side effects. I found the product a bit scratchy around the waist when I first started to wear them. Reminded me of those back of the collar shirt tags that were annoying, that type of feel. Putting a thin layer of body lotion around the waist helped soften the feel.

This may have everything to do with the UTI. The delirium can be very intense with UTIs.
Try to address the behavior after she's better if it persists, it may not.
Worst case, no more pants but gowns & dresses?

I want to laugh but it really isn't funny. My Dad takes his Depends off so the bed is flooded during the night. The laundry is endless. Plus his bedroom floor is like a landmine, you never know when your going to step on a puddle. I keep thinking I should be grateful it's just pee. Wait till the s--t starts to happen. I just keep telling myself that he deserves the best and I want to make his life joyful. Hang in there.

One pair inside and one pair outside

Have you discussed with her why she likes to wear them on the outside? If you can get some insight into why she does it, that may help you convince her. My husband (LBD) did odd things that made sense within the context of his delusions. Arguing and explaining and reasoning are not going to change anything. Your only chance is to get into her world and figure out a way to make it happen to suit her needs.

Would she be willing to wear the depends you help her put on, then her pants, and then some larger depends? (At least in the house.) That could possibly serve her need to wear them on the outside, and your need to have them fulfill their function!

Does Mom have a uti? Dementia symptoms and behaviors generally get much worse and wackier with a uti, and will go back to baseline when the infection is cleared up. That could be very good news for you!