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Thank goodness it looks like FIL and MIL have medi cal in the works. Somehow they decided to cooperate and get the documents required online with the help of the nursing home social worker. However, yesterday afternoon my husband got a call from NH that the two of them had been causing trouble all day trying to bust out. They set off the alarm several times. This place has told us we need to be looking for another permanent place for them as they only agreed to take them temporarily and they can't jump to the top of the list. FIL still thinks he can go home and take care of himself . We've explained several times that the Dr. has said he can not leave but he thinks if he can just get home , he can do it. He also says he's going to save the house from foreclosure ( is $22,000 behind on mortgage and 19 months delinquent). How can we get through to him that he's not getting out? We even showed him the paperwork with the doctor's statement and also had the social worker explain the situation. He refuses to accept it. Plus he calls my husband everyday at work and makes demands. My husband finally told him " I have to work" but now feels guilty. We drive 3 hours to visit every weekend but told them we can not come this weekend because we both have our granddaughters birthday party and I work at church this Sunday but FIL ignores it and orders my husband to bring him the house keys and the car keys. I would like tips on handling this. Tia

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Sorrynotsorry, do you have any idea where their final place will be. I hope you know soon so you can get them settled. What you're going through is not unusual during the first month or two. They need time to settle in. I hope you don't have to go through this again when they switch to their final place.
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not yet. Waiting until we have final confirmation from mediCal. FIL has to have blood sugar tested several times a day and is now on insulin by shot. He was neglectful of his oral medicine resulting in this - which is one reason the Dr. Says he can not care for himself. Plus no control over bowels . Anyway no, we have not found anywhere. It seems most places have a long wait list. We also are setting up a consultation with a nearby assisted living to see what their level of care should be. He ordered up " might consider assisted living if we can come and go as we please, there's a place to park both our cars, there's a good clubhouse/ restaurant there and we can take care of ourselves". That's basically what they had before . So no we have not.
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An AL may not take them if they keep trying to get out. Some r not total lockdown. Both have Dementia? If my Mom called me all the time, especially at work, I would take the phone away. Does FIL remember he asked for keys? If not just ignore him when he asks. When he asks to go home, tell him they r home. I wouldn't explain why they can't go home. Maybe Dad needs a med to help calm him. Good luck
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