How can we get respite care if we have limited funds?

What are grandma's funds like? Have you applied for Medicaid for her?

We recommend reaching out to your county government's elder care entity or senior services organization in the short term. Our county's senior services organization offers respite care. Medicaid can take months to complete but is the key to much more either through the county or privately as insurance.

Also, there is a federal program called Senior Companions under Americorps that may be available in your area. They were going to provide significant coverage for us but perhaps not 24/7 for that short vacation you're looking for.

Tom&Margie - in another post you said that grannie had the $ to pay for AL for at least 1/2 a year but her "FA" said basically not to use it for AL. So she maybe has 75K? or 40K?, but whichever she has funds.

$ is there, she needs to spend it. This is her rainy day and it is a hailstorm upon you. Use her funds to pay for either 24/7 caregivers to come in to your home OR pay for her to go into a facility.

I would suggest of the 2 options above, she goes into a facility (a NH or AL) does respite stays. Use her stay as an evaluation period for both the facility to see IF they can do the level of care that your MIL needs & that the facility works for you all. She has the $, she needs to spend it before you have total burnout.

Tom and Margie; This caregiving at home is clearly not working out for you guys. You need respite and if Grandma has funds, that is what they are there for, to pay for her care.

Contact your local AAA state home care. Some have "scholarship" funds to help provide family caregiver respite.

Also gran gets SS, doesn't she? Maybe also retirement income? So these funds with whatever she has saved (enough for 1/2 year AL) is there to pay.

Really if they live long enough, unless they are generationally wealthy, they will run out of $ & the caregivers will run out of steam. They will flat run out of $ as the costs of care are just staggering. And they will apply to & qualify for Medicaid for whatever programs your state has. The reality of aging in America, is that they by & large are expected to impoverish themselves before the state will pay. Now there are options as to perhaps how to spend down best - like her buying a pre need NCV funeral policy; dental work, etc. But for keeping her savings, well for this you have to do long range planning. At 91, that ship has sailed.

Does your grandmother have the funds? Those funds can be used to give you a break because they are for her care and if you are to continue to care for her, you need respite care. Have a nice break!

"You" shouldn't have to pay for any of her care. Is she paying you to care for her now? Obviously, she must get social security, at the very least. Perhaps she gets some sort of pension. If you go away for a week, to get a 24/7 aide/companion would probably be somewhere in the range of $750 to $1,000 for the week, depending on where you live. If you are being paid by her to take care of her, don't take your pay for that week & put it toward paying an aide/companion to stay with her.

Maybe the grandkids cld help fund ur respite?

My answer will begin with the question - is there any diagnosis that would qualify your grandmother for Hospice? Hospice is paid for by Medicare and is extra help for you and your family even if she still lives with you. Hospices will offer Respite Care in a skilled nursing facility so that you can go on vacation, again this is paid for by Medicare. Hospice is not just for the last few weeks of life...it is to help provide a quality end of life when the diagnosis could mean 6 months or less of life. Having said this, people have been known to be on Hospice for 2 years or even longer, it is all dependent on the diagnosis. Call a quality reputable Hospice company and ask if they can do an evaluation and have a discussion with you and your family. They can best tell you if your grandmother will qualify for this underused, misunderstood benefit which could mean so much for your sanity.

Are you her POA for both health and financial? If so, just check her in to a local facility for a week. Tell the facility you why you are doing it--becauee yyou're going crazy and need time off, and stress that you don't want to be contacted unless she is deathly ill.
After you check her in there....it will become more clear to you: you can't continue to care for her. Forget about trying to inherit her money, its not yours. Forget about her "running out" of her money, as long as the facility accepts Medicaid they are not going to turn her away (they will take her Soc Sec check, and eventually her home). The alternative is for you to quite possible spend another 5 yrs taking care of her, go crazy, and she will still run out of money (and you'll still not inherit anything). (I'm just trying to imagine why you haven't checked her in someplace already, something is preventing you, and it's usually thoughts of inheritance). If she has a small nest egg, let that be used for her care--most folks who lived during Depression want to pay their own way.