How do you get a parent to the doctor when they refuse to go?

Zoey bc, I read your post again this morning. My dad has copd so he has breathing issues all the time. I said Red flag in my previous post because trouble breathing could be a heart issue, pneumonia, blood clot, there are numerous things that cause shortness of breath as I am sure you know that is why I said go to the emergency room. I don't mean to push the panic button just feel that is a serious symptom that should be checked out.

The weight loss and shortness of breath seem like red flags to me. Emergency room or doctor, that's your choice, pick one? We need to get out of apartment because we have hired someone to come in and remove all the speakers in the condo. Good luck this is a hard one!

This sounds exactly like mom, except for the weight loss. It was dementia and some pre-existing mental illness at work.

Husband needs to say any & everything necessary to get that woman to a geriatric specialist. I would not waste my time with a GP at this point. She needs a cognitive evaluation pronto. She may have an infection playing a role in this scenario as well. Infections can mimic dementia big time.

Google for geriatric doctor home visit and see if anything comes up in her area. It is best if the doc can see the patient in her native habitat, so to speak, to witness first hand the state of things, smells, disorder, all that stuff they miss in an office visit.

If you can't get a doc to do a house call, bribe mother in law to go. Don't tell her it's to the doctor. Just say it's out for fresh air, pancakes, ice cream, a haircut, new socks....whatever it has to be. Then stop at the doctor's office and take her inside because the gals in the office have been wanting to meet her. Or it's required for insurance. Or whatever creative invention is going to work.

Sometimes I got really lucky and mom didn't argue about why we needed to go do something, and it was so much easier that way.

If the above doesn't work (you know mom, that d😮MN Obamacare, you HAVE to see the doctor or they won't recertify your medicare), call the doctor and r plain the situation. He'll probably be able to order VNS or a similar agency come to the house and check her out. Does anyone have poa?

If there is anyway of convincing your Mom that she would lose all her medical benefits unless she goes to the doctor for an exam twice a year [we know this isn't true but if it gets her to the doctor, then it well worth it]. Good luck.