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I have four and if they would only visit one long weekend a year i would get a break. I have given up my condo and job to care for my elderly parents in our family home. I recently asked my out of state siblings to come out one weekend a year so i could get a break from the 24/7 every few months. The reception was chilly, with only one coming once a year for a week and another who would like to come, but never has the funds, it costs me a fortune, and she is disabled and emotionally unstable herself. When a sibling who is more concerned with her inheritance than my parents care and has not spent more than a fe hours with them in many years asked how I was doing, i let her know ow hard it was, how our parents needed her company as well and how much I needed the occasional break, The email went unanswered. I am at my wits end, and getting very resentful towards my siblings.

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This a frequent complaint and one for which there are not any any easy answers.

What has the history of the relationship between your siblings and ya'lls parents been like over the years plus with each other.

It sounds like you really can't expect much from the sibling who never has the funds but is disabled and emotionally unstable herself. Sounds like she has her hands full just taking care of herself.

I don't know what to say about your other four siblings and sorry to hear about the one who never answered your e-mail.

Along with depression what other health needs do your parents have?

Keep in touch and let us know how things work out.
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The depression is mine, not my parents, lol. My father is 96 with congestive heart failure and on mutiple meds three times daily. he is still,sharp,strong and vital but does need moderate help dressing and has bouts of incontinence. My Mother is 89 and has moderate dementia and allergy issues. She is amazingly healthy and on no meds other than for her dementia. Her short term memory is non-existent. I do it all, the cooking, cleaning, home, medical appointments and their finances. i am also fortunate to manage two businesses, one our family business, another I opened on my own, The income from this always me to stay home with them full time, but I feel I am dying inside. Thanks for your reply, and listening to my venting. In some ways I feel very blessed. My parents are kind and childlike, but I feel I am losing my life.
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Our parents have always been there for all of us, unconditional love and giving. My siblings and I are very different people, we get along but I would not say we are as close as one would hope siblings would be.
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Lasp, I'm one of three siblings. Our mom is in a nursing home, getting good care. We none of us has the skills, the time or frankly the inclination to do the hands on caregiving for our mom,who has vascular dementia and congestive heart failure. Mom gets professional nursing care;the staff can tell when something ' s not right and she gets immediate treatment, without phone calls and schlepping her out to appointments.

If I had a sibling who was capable and willing to care for my mom in house, I'd be grateful, but still dubious about my ability to show up and help. I'd be more willing to pay for respite care throughout the year, or since you mention that your parents have funds, I would be amenable to my sibling being paid from those funds and respite paid for as well. Try approaching from that angle. Could that work for everyone?
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Thank you for your reply, we may go that route down the road, from my parents funds. The issue now is that my parents, thankfully are still very sharp and stubborn. They do not realise the help the require and are not comfortable allowing a stranger in the home. Accepting help from outside family can be tricky enough. I may try to ease them into it, just a few hours at a time. Thank you for the suggestion.
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