How do I get Mom with dementia to take a bath. Dad has passed and there are only men in the house?

I have problems with my mom bathing too but I take a no-nonsense approach to it. I tell her she needs to get undressed and into the shower. She b*tches and moans the whole time but she does it. I lather up a wash cloth or a "lather thingy" and hand it to her and tell her what to do. Like I said, she is complaining the whole time but she washes. I rinse her off and then wash her hair. I help her out of the shower and hand her a towel.
She always thinks she's bathed already. One of the things she says is "why do I need to take a bath 3 or 4 times a day, I'm not dirty"
She calls me all kinds of names too but I've finally gotten to the point where I know this is not my mom, this is an old, sick lady in my moms body.

Call her doctor. He can write orders for a bath aide to come to the home.

This is a very common and I'll bet most difficult caregiver frustration. Here are some tips from the caregiver support group that I facilitate: It's a trial and error thing, but these ideas worked for them: 1) Make it part of a routine thing on a certain day .... time for your shower, then we'll go out for lunch, ice cream, whatever. Always let them how nice they look after.
2) Sometimes a hand held sprayer is less threatening for them to use. - might be worth a try.
3) Ask the doctor to write on a prescription pad... Mrs.. xx needs to bath at least 1 time a week to control infections" - this is just to show them what the doctor said.
4) About changing clothes - one person bought several identical outfits and would wash the dirty ones at night, etc. and switch with the clean ones. Hope these are helpful! Sending you a virtual hug.

DawInVB, I always asked myself that too, if they don’t take shower for a week or so, the smell doesn’t seem to bother them! I think because they feel cold easily, sometimes sponge baths are the best option.

Please go as slow as you can. Slow everything down. Patience works. Impossibly slow. It's the scariest thing of all. Gentle and slowly. It's so scary to a person with no control. Its like being doused with fire. Think of your loved one as an infant who had never had a bath before. They are terrified.

Sandy, home bath aides, visiting nurses and PT/OT are only covered after a minimum 3 day stay in a hospital, and only by the order of the MD and only for 60 days. Usually the discharge coordinator sets this up before you leave the hospital.

check with office of aging in your area, they should be able to connect you with some companies that offer help in these areas and depending on her income/expenses she might even get re-imbursed for part of the fee.

I find this a challenge as well. On the days where she gives me a hard time I find if I hand wash her with a nice warm wash cloth instead of getting her in the tub she is more willing the next time. Sometimes at least in my case it's just a matter of making her feel like she has a say. As far as clothing goes at night I wash her clothes when she is asleep and when she gets in a rut and wants to wear the same thing I take her shopping, let her pick out a new outfit and get her excited to put on the new clothes. This seems to work at least for now.

when it was getting to hard for my mom to help my dad wash, I contacted office of aging, who put me in contact with comfort keepers (other companies also out there) and arranged for a person to come every Wed to bathe him. He actually looks forward to that even if he has been in bed all day. And they are woman who bathe him and he has no problem, initially it took a little bit, now he doesn't care; he's just glad to see someone come. I an thinking of bumping it up to 2 days a week now. My mother has no problem (my dad is 91, my mom is 87) cause it gives her a break from all his stories,repetiviness and someone else has him for 1 hour.

There is always No-Rinse Body Wash and No-Rinse Shampoo for sponge baths. . .