Stop trying to get her to eat Depends. (Sorry, I just couldn't resist. I have a tendency to use humor to lighten my load.)
We buy mom's Depends at Sam's Club. $30 for 54 of them. *shrug*
When mom's not eating, I give her VERY small meals...maybe more often. Like maybe a hardboiled egg. Period. Or add a piece of toast. Or an itty-bitty amount of chili in a small bowl. Later one of her favorite cookies. I think "kick-starting" her appetite this way is better than setting a big plate in front of her that overwhelms her senses.
In the end, I don't worry about it. If her body is beginning to shut down, permanently or temporarily, it's just nature's way. We can't turn water into wine.
Maggie! LOL! Eating depends, got to admit I thought the same when reading this post!
Look into other brand of disposable briefs. I order a case at a Tim online from Amazon for about $52.00 which save significantly over grocery store types. Plus offers the additional convenience of free, to the door, delivery. Or as PS said, order fabric ones that can be washed, also available on Amazon. Personally, I would not want the rinsing and washing of reuseable diapers, especially for adults.
Engagement, get a decent quality portable stereo. They are getting very small. Play music from her younger days. Get her an iPod that you can load her favorite music and keep her entertained for hours. Google "Alive Inside, A Story of Music and Memory" to see the miraculous changes in those with Alzheimer's when listening to music. I imagine you could do without the iPod, but it offers a way to filter out background noise and activity, making concentration easier.
Look into ParentGiving for deals on Depends, also Costco. I give my mother a little bit of wine (2 oz) and that helps her appetite. My mom likes to read so I get her Time magazine and her caregiver reads the paper to her. Also photo albums, she could go through those again and again.
You are so funny..made me laugh...when my mom was done to eating 1/2 a cup of yogurt my nearby sister got her those nutritional shakes and added ice cream and heavy cream...with the doctor's suggestions...it helped allot to also divert her attention..when we would drive out of state to visit,we would buy lottery tickets,the scratch off type..she would scratch and eat and not realize she was eating...good luck
Use red plates- this simplistic switch jump started my mom's next-to-nothing appetite. Studies have shown this works in restaurants to make the meal more appealing to customers. Also, fix "power shakes with Ensure Plus, banana(including skin) coconut oil, and whey. This will provide her with an 800 calorie delicious addition to her diet. My mom asks every day for one and she doesn't ever ask for any other types of foods. She loves it and likes the phrase "power shake". Good luck.
Depends on the stage of dementia. Engaging a mind is futile if the mind is already gone, so I would need more information. Is she leaking or just urinating in her pants? Need more info. Is she not eating because she has no teeth? Does she have no gag reflex? Please be more specific, as this nurse will need more details.
Yes, Photos do bring back memories, whether the memory stays in the mind very long really doesn't matter, as long as the person is pleased with the memory. The only thing we have found to be a problem, is the pictures that are not marked. I guess we will just go with the ones we know. And the ones they can remember. Dad can remember, by a picture, things from 50-60 years ago and tells us all about the scenario. Really lights up his face! God Bless You All!
I have been buying the store brand of disposable briefs from CVS. We tried various other store brand and these seemed to be the best. Sign up to get an ExtraCare card and register it online. Quite often I get sent coupons for 20-30% off their brand. It isn't good if they are on sale, but it usually goes out to less. Also, I have often combined the % off coupons with $5 off $20 or various other denomination CVS coupon with it. You can also use the $ off amount on sale items. Make sure you scan your ExtraCare card at the store kiosk when you walk in. They often give me coupons for Depends or their brand since I buy them often. CVS is great about combining offers. Read the fine print. And, look for the bonus packs of their brand that are often on the shelf where you get a few more briefs for the same price.
My Mom likes sweets...so...I fix things that are good for her and high in calories and also combat the Alzheimer's instead of making it worse. Breakfast: 2 pieces 100 % whole grain toast...with...2 tablespoons coconut oil per piece...sprinkle on a bunch of cinnamon...then a teaspoon of Welch's Natural Grape jelly (no high fructose corn syrup)...either 1/2 ripe cantaloupe cut in pieces or a whole beef steak tomato cut in pieces. 2 full glasses chocolate protein milk...I got the the MuscleTech brand (3 lb bag) at Sam's for around $35...which is $1.14 a day since I make 2 servings for her. Each serving is 120 calories at 35 grams whey protein...and then add the whole milk...150 cal a cup and she drinks 4 cups...840 calories in 2 glasses. I also started mixing the protein powder in plain yogurt...she loves that too. Be sure to mix the powder in a small amount of water prior to mixing with milk or yogurt or you'll get a clumped up mess instead of a smooth shake. Lunch can be anything but I make sure it is what my Mom has always liked to eat...dinner same thing...sometimes she has the toast all day. Try to notice what things or types of textures your Mom likes and dislikes and tailor her meals according to that. I don't serve her big portions...it overwhelms her when she sees it...so I put maybe 2 tablespoons of each item on her plate...this way...she feels more in control and if she wants more...she can have it. She sometimes forgets we have eaten...so...I just make another plate with the same small portions and the food bill gets stretched...Mom is eating...and everyone is happy.
As far as engaging her mind...try and think of things your Mom used to do...as an example...I wash and dry the laundry...when I leave it on her bed...my Mom folds all of it and puts it away. It may not get in what I would call the proper place and it doesn't matter...I always thank her for helping me and I've learned to play hide & seek...I know the clothes are somewhere and I will find them. I also do the same thing with dishes...wash and let them air dry in the sink...my Mom will put them away. Sometimes in the microwave...or oven...or a different cabinet...but I know where to look...and I thank her for being such a big help.
Just an FYI...the microwave is not plugged in...neither is the toaster...I've removed all the knobs from the stove and keep one in my purse...and the oven is electronic and too complicated for my Mom to figure out...so no threat of a fire...
Also...have the newspaper delivered on a daily basis and maybe a magazine or two...my Mom loves to read and will read the paper to me...sometimes the same article 2 or 3 times in a row...I respond each time as though I'm hearing for the first time...and we discuss what she's read and I ask her opinion.
Good luck...as far as the depends...she won't wear them...she does occasionally wet the bed...and so I've purchased 3 waterproof bed protectors and know to change the linens every day...unless the bed is dry...and then that's a bonus! I let the pads air dry and this saves a lot of time.
I never make mention of the bed wetting...I like to keep my Mom's dignity intact. I just say that it's laundry day!
I keep cut up fresh fruit that my dad likes in the frig where he forages like a bear. He loves strawberry slimfast, and power crunch protein bars which are like waffer cookies. I also give him a cut up boiled egg with a big spoon of Veganase Mayo/reduced calorie and sprinkle bacon crumbles on this. He loves bacon and mayo. I give him one high fiber toast with maple sugar each day for his pooper. He also gets sobe coconut water drink (he was consuming a lot of these for a while and I think it made him poop more often, a problem), and some Gwater from gatoraid (he won't drink plain water). I keep these bits of food coming to him every hour or 2, so if he does not eat a meal, I know he has had enough protein and fluids. After dinner, when he finishes, he gets a really good treat, ice cream or cake, doughnut, etc.
Regarding eating, remember that our elders aren't exercising, running up and down stairs, mowing the lawn, doing housework, etc. so they don't need as many calories as we do.
My parents still live independently, and it seems like their grocery order is half what I order.... I use to worry about it but not any more... but Mom sure orders a lot of Little Debbie snacks, pies, ice cream and cookies. I figure they are in their mid-90's, I am not going to recommend they change their diet.
My 84 year old mother is a tiny eater,, and she thinks she is fat. I joke (kinda) that I expected anorexia with my teenager, not my mother! I think this is one thing she can still feel she can control. Does not matter that her Dr wants her to get to 100 lbs.. she is FAT !! As if... But she will nosh her way around Costco, and nibble on bagels and cheese. Luckily its tomatoe time so she is eating a BLT a day. It's hard getting fruit and veg into her, she goes for carbs
My Mom was never hungry but would eat what I put in front of her. If it was too much she got overwhelmed so I started using smaller plates and making her portions very small - like a toddler - with finger foods to nimble on. I would cut up an apple with small pieces of cheese and she could nibble to her hearts content. The elderly also love sweets because their taste buds can still taste the sweet flavor. Jello with fruit is always a favorite.
My MIL loves sweets. She is pretty strong otherwise but complains of headaches, her shoulder (arthritis) hurts and her tummy hurts (she usually poops shortly thereafter). I have learned (after the panic attacks) that she will eat what she wants, and will probably not eat anything else. At 98 years old, she had not died nor has she gone into some form of cardiac arrest. Relax: her body has adjusted accordingly and she will continue to demand why I am in her space and what I am doing there. I am constantly amazed by the human mind that can't tell time, doesn't know what time it is, or where she is, but will tell me to get out of her space, But insist before I leave that I feed her dog.
Re Depends: i used to get my aunts from Amazon - free shipping, and they were almost 35% less costly. And i didn't have to spend 3 hours trying to get to different drug stores to find the type/size she preferred/needed. The pull-ups were her type of choice - the velcro tab type were too hard for her to manage, and she truly didn't want to be any trouble at all. The pull ups gave her dignity and choice - and she wanted to "honor" us by cooperating. What a sweetie - gosh i miss her!. If you use the washable types, please invest in a "Diaper Genie" - like they use for infants - it will permit you more control over when you do the laundry, and help them soak until you're ready.
For eating, now that i'm caring for Mom - about a year ago, i started to give her a Root Beer Malt each and every night. i "spike" it with a scoop of protein powder [vanilla] made by Nature's Bounty. i also mix in the Miralax that the doctor ordered - so she doesn't really have to worry about digestive issues, but oh how she loves the AW Root Beer/Edy's Ice Cream Malts! She voluntarily remembers that it's time to take her nighttime meds, too. She drinks the malt throughout the night as that is when she has always gotten thirsty.
Mom has had 4 or 5 strokes, and 3 cornea transplants. She works the giant edition of Word Search puzzle books, each and every day. It has helped her tremendously with vocabulary. For a long time, she couldn't find the word for an object: i'd not prompt her - she'd struggle all day, and wow, finally, the joy in her face, when it came to her --- it was like she could finally reach the apple on the tree, that was out of reach for so long.
A lot of leg pain is hitting her now: i pray summer holds out for just another month or two [please!] i'm just now getting her to walk around the back yard twice a day - she just built up to 2x in the am and 2x in the pm. But if it's cool, she doesn't walk.
Her short term memory ... yes, oh my, i need help in gosh -- how does anyone deal with it? i'm not strong enough yet or used to the constant "same question every 4-5 minutes" yet. It's a continuous interruption, and i hate thinking that my Mom's an interruption -- but she does it to me while i'm on the phone making appointments, and if i don't reply, she throws glasses of water across the room. Blessings to all....
I too am worried about my Mom's lack of appetite. Before she went into the nursing home she had stopped eating unbeknownst to me. When the case worker weighed her I was alarmed to see she had gone from a healthy 118 Ibs. to under 90 Ibs.
When she first got to the nursing home her appetite improved initially but recently she has started refusing food again. They bring her cookies and banana bread etc. throughout the day but Mom admitted to me today that she has been hiding it so that they will think she is eating it. I am worried since she is so frail to begin with. The staff at the N H have started supplementing her meals with Ensure but my Mom barely touchs that as well.
I know that all I can do is suggest cause if I start to nag my mom just gets her back up and eats even less. She is 91 and has had kidney problems, congestive heart failure, osteoporosis, arthritis etc.etc. I pray and try to leave it with God cause since Mom has been in the N H I feel like I've lost control of the situation. I know they are kind and do their best there and I have to trust in God and pray for the staff at the N H that they will take good care of my dear Mom.
Gershun, Good for you, that is the only place to leave what we can not control. In God's hands. I know you do whatever you can, whenever you can, for your Mom. Her home awaits her, but that is small comfort to you now! God Bless!!
I'm with Freqflier . . . my MIL lives on Little Debbies! She might eat a quarter of a hamburger for dinner (she has few teeth left so that is what she can 'chew' . . . but other than that Honey Buns and Marshmallow bars are the main eatables. I know, but at least I don't have to nag her and she will eat them throughout the day. I give her a very warm cup of coffee in the morning to start off her day and make sure she manages to eat at least a half a Honey Bun, then at 'dinner' I cut up the hamburger into manageable size and let her at it. I'm grateful that at 98+ she can still feed herself and will push the rest away, "No, I don't want any more. No, put it away. I'm done!" and she will get up from the table and walk away. "I'm going to bed now. Leave me."
And I do. Right after I feed her (grateful) little dog!
Does anyone but me get that refined sugar is the root to dementia??? I have reversed...not totally...but reversed the progression of my Mom's dementia by changing her diet. She still gets the sweets...just in another form. And it's remarkable the difference and problems that are no longer an issue.
Martha 627, I have wondered about that, and I try to cut back for myself and hubby. I don't know that my folks ever really understood what I was trying to tell them. Dad has a sweet tooth that won't quit, so I am tickled when I see them using honey instead! I honestly don't know if it makes a difference, but it is probably better for their digestive systems!
Martha627, my parents are still sharp as a tack 90% of the time and they are in their mid-90's.... I should have bought stock in sugar refineries with as much sweets as the two of them eat. They have *deserts* after every meal and in-between.
Martha, I too, stopped the refined sugar in Mom's diet about 2.5 years ago. It did not reverse her Alzheimer's. What I saw instead was modified behavior, easier to deal with her. She was much like a little kid on a "sugar high". And she could never get enough. Refined sugar may have been an addiction for my Mom.
Some doctors are referring to Alzheimer's as Type 3 Diabetes and suspect that it is a difference in how the brain processes sugar.
All of the above suggestions are great depending where she is on her journey. If all else fails the doc can prescribe an appetite stimulant in pill form or if you are in a legal state, medical marijuana does wonders with appetite.
Small meals (very small meals; like a spoonful of 3-4 things on a plate) several times a day (5 small meals vs 3 regular meals). This keeps it from being overwhelming Variety and make sure there is always something she likes included The wine suggestion was a good one -- just a couple ozs might prod the appetite Change up the venue; maybe have a little picnic on a card table outside, in the garage (with the door up); with bright table cloth, festive napkin, etc. -- just to change it up a bit. Maybe go to Arby's or McDonalds and just get a 4 piece chicken nugget and small milk shake (throw in some protein powder) to help. Sprinkle protein powder on everything (like in a salt and pepper shaker or as part of salt and pepper shaker -- hey we could all use some extra protein kick) which will help her keep her nutrition up.
Lastly, don't force it. Keep portions small and bitesize just as you would for a toddler and they will eat better. This is what we did for my dad when his appetite went out the door. Sometimes they lose their sense of taste and smell -- so nothing is appetizing anymore. Work to make it alittle more spicy, salty, or sweet so they get that taste sensation.
Don't worry about it and don't push it; only makes it worse. Keep offering and if your get 2 bites down, consider it a success.
Keep them drinking (even protein Boost/Ensure/etc.) drinks and that is what is most important.
2. Use the washable pads.
3. Engage her with music from her era.
We buy mom's Depends at Sam's Club. $30 for 54 of them. *shrug*
When mom's not eating, I give her VERY small meals...maybe more often. Like maybe a hardboiled egg. Period. Or add a piece of toast. Or an itty-bitty amount of chili in a small bowl. Later one of her favorite cookies. I think "kick-starting" her appetite this way is better than setting a big plate in front of her that overwhelms her senses.
In the end, I don't worry about it. If her body is beginning to shut down, permanently or temporarily, it's just nature's way. We can't turn water into wine.
Look into other brand of disposable briefs. I order a case at a Tim online from Amazon for about $52.00 which save significantly over grocery store types. Plus offers the additional convenience of free, to the door, delivery. Or as PS said, order fabric ones that can be washed, also available on Amazon. Personally, I would not want the rinsing and washing of reuseable diapers, especially for adults.
Engagement, get a decent quality portable stereo. They are getting very small. Play music from her younger days. Get her an iPod that you can load her favorite music and keep her entertained for hours. Google "Alive Inside, A Story of Music and Memory" to see the miraculous changes in those with Alzheimer's when listening to music. I imagine you could do without the iPod, but it offers a way to filter out background noise and activity, making concentration easier.
Dad can remember, by a picture, things from 50-60 years ago and tells us all about the scenario. Really lights up his face!
God Bless You All!
Breakfast: 2 pieces 100 % whole grain toast...with...2 tablespoons coconut oil per piece...sprinkle on a bunch of cinnamon...then a teaspoon of Welch's Natural Grape jelly (no high fructose corn syrup)...either 1/2 ripe cantaloupe cut in pieces or a whole beef steak tomato cut in pieces. 2 full glasses chocolate protein milk...I got the the MuscleTech brand (3 lb bag) at Sam's for around $35...which is $1.14 a day since I make 2 servings for her. Each serving is 120 calories at 35 grams whey protein...and then add the whole milk...150 cal a cup and she drinks 4 cups...840 calories in 2 glasses. I also started mixing the protein powder in plain yogurt...she loves that too. Be sure to mix the powder in a small amount of water prior to mixing with milk or yogurt or you'll get a clumped up mess instead of a smooth shake.
Lunch can be anything but I make sure it is what my Mom has always liked to eat...dinner same thing...sometimes she has the toast all day.
Try to notice what things or types of textures your Mom likes and dislikes and tailor her meals according to that.
I don't serve her big portions...it overwhelms her when she sees it...so I put maybe 2 tablespoons of each item on her plate...this way...she feels more in control and if she wants more...she can have it. She sometimes forgets we have eaten...so...I just make another plate with the same small portions and the food bill gets stretched...Mom is eating...and everyone is happy.
As far as engaging her mind...try and think of things your Mom used to do...as an example...I wash and dry the laundry...when I leave it on her bed...my Mom folds all of it and puts it away. It may not get in what I would call the proper place and it doesn't matter...I always thank her for helping me and I've learned to play hide & seek...I know the clothes are somewhere and I will find them.
I also do the same thing with dishes...wash and let them air dry in the sink...my Mom will put them away. Sometimes in the microwave...or oven...or a different cabinet...but I know where to look...and I thank her for being such a big help.
Just an FYI...the microwave is not plugged in...neither is the toaster...I've removed all the knobs from the stove and keep one in my purse...and the oven is electronic and too complicated for my Mom to figure out...so no threat of a fire...
Also...have the newspaper delivered on a daily basis and maybe a magazine or two...my Mom loves to read and will read the paper to me...sometimes the same article 2 or 3 times in a row...I respond each time as though I'm hearing for the first time...and we discuss what she's read and I ask her opinion.
Good luck...as far as the depends...she won't wear them...she does occasionally wet the bed...and so I've purchased 3 waterproof bed protectors and know to change the linens every day...unless the bed is dry...and then that's a bonus! I let the pads air dry and this saves a lot of time.
I never make mention of the bed wetting...I like to keep my Mom's dignity intact. I just say that it's laundry day!
My parents still live independently, and it seems like their grocery order is half what I order.... I use to worry about it but not any more... but Mom sure orders a lot of Little Debbie snacks, pies, ice cream and cookies. I figure they are in their mid-90's, I am not going to recommend they change their diet.
For eating, now that i'm caring for Mom - about a year ago, i started to give her a Root Beer Malt each and every night. i "spike" it with a scoop of protein powder [vanilla] made by Nature's Bounty. i also mix in the Miralax that the doctor ordered - so she doesn't really have to worry about digestive issues, but oh how she loves the AW Root Beer/Edy's Ice Cream Malts! She voluntarily remembers that it's time to take her nighttime meds, too. She drinks the malt throughout the night as that is when she has always gotten thirsty.
Mom has had 4 or 5 strokes, and 3 cornea transplants. She works the giant edition of Word Search puzzle books, each and every day. It has helped her tremendously with vocabulary. For a long time, she couldn't find the word for an object: i'd not prompt her - she'd struggle all day, and wow, finally, the joy in her face, when it came to her --- it was like she could finally reach the apple on the tree, that was out of reach for so long.
A lot of leg pain is hitting her now: i pray summer holds out for just another month or two [please!] i'm just now getting her to walk around the back yard twice a day - she just built up to 2x in the am and 2x in the pm. But if it's cool, she doesn't walk.
Her short term memory ... yes, oh my, i need help in gosh -- how does anyone deal with it? i'm not strong enough yet or used to the constant "same question every 4-5 minutes" yet. It's a continuous interruption, and i hate thinking that my Mom's an interruption -- but she does it to me while i'm on the phone making appointments, and if i don't reply, she throws glasses of water across the room. Blessings to all....
When she first got to the nursing home her appetite improved initially but recently she has started refusing food again. They bring her cookies and banana bread etc. throughout the day but Mom admitted to me today that she has been hiding it so that they will think she is eating it. I am worried since she is so frail to begin with. The staff at the N H have started supplementing her meals with Ensure but my Mom barely touchs that as well.
I know that all I can do is suggest cause if I start to nag my mom just gets her back up and eats even less. She is 91 and has had kidney problems, congestive heart failure, osteoporosis, arthritis etc.etc. I pray and try to leave it with God cause since Mom has been in the N H I feel like I've lost control of the situation. I know they are kind and do their best there and I have to trust in God and pray for the staff at the N H that they will take good care of my dear Mom.
And I do. Right after I feed her (grateful) little dog!
I too, stopped the refined sugar in Mom's diet about 2.5 years ago. It did not reverse her Alzheimer's. What I saw instead was modified behavior, easier to deal with her. She was much like a little kid on a "sugar high". And she could never get enough. Refined sugar may have been an addiction for my Mom.
Some doctors are referring to Alzheimer's as Type 3 Diabetes and suspect that it is a difference in how the brain processes sugar.
This keeps it from being overwhelming
Variety and make sure there is always something she likes included
The wine suggestion was a good one -- just a couple ozs might prod the appetite
Change up the venue; maybe have a little picnic on a card table outside, in the garage (with the door up); with bright table cloth, festive napkin, etc. -- just to change it up a bit.
Maybe go to Arby's or McDonalds and just get a 4 piece chicken nugget and small milk shake (throw in some protein powder) to help.
Sprinkle protein powder on everything (like in a salt and pepper shaker or as part of salt and pepper shaker -- hey we could all use some extra protein kick) which will help her keep her nutrition up.
Lastly, don't force it. Keep portions small and bitesize just as you would for a toddler and they will eat better. This is what we did for my dad when his appetite went out the door. Sometimes they lose their sense of taste and smell -- so nothing is appetizing anymore. Work to make it alittle more spicy, salty, or sweet so they get that taste sensation.
Don't worry about it and don't push it; only makes it worse. Keep offering and if your get 2 bites down, consider it a success.
Keep them drinking (even protein Boost/Ensure/etc.) drinks and that is what is most important.