I read a book called the 6 hour day and it describes the process of loosing the ability to remember how to do things like bathe...having to unbutton the clothes, getting the water right. All things we do without even thinking...I have been bathing my MIL (91) for the last year and a half. First on a seat in the shower...she was so slow she would get chilled by the time she finished trying to do it on her own...when she got to the point where moving her in and out of the shower was too much for her I started buying the bathing clothes that are treated with aloe and there is no rinsing required. They are kind of pricey but worth it. I also use the no rinse shampoo on her hair now...she does not get near as resistant or seem to dread it as much as she did the shower. I warm the clothes in the microwave for a few seconds and keep them in an old tortilla warmer till I need them. I do her legs and feet first while she's laying on the bed, do her bottom when I change her diaper and then dress the bottom half. Then I get her in the wheelchair and we do the top half of her body and finish dressing her. Because she's never completely bare she seems to stay warmer. I wash her hair last. She is much more cooperative with the whole process now than she ever was with the shower...Not sure what your situation is or what your Mom is able to do for herself. Mom stopped wanting to bathe when it became hard for her to stand and would tire herself out thinking about it. Don't know if any of that helps but wishing you best of luck...I had to tell her that she needed a bath and what we were going to do. It's hard to talk to a parent (MIL) like that but it does seem to become the way things are.
Yes she does. Call her MD and ask him to order an occupational therapist to come to the house. Usually they recommend a grab rail on the tub, a shower chair, non-slip mat, and added grab bars. Then they will show her how to safely use these things.
Things that I think help: grab bars (they make ones that suction cup to wall, easy to place anywhere), shower seat, basin of warm water for feet to sit in while being bathed, hand held shower attachment long enough to reach a seated person with a "gentle flow" setting, very soft wash mitts (they sell dusting mitts at dollar store that I used), "bedtime" baby wash that smells relaxing... just some ideas to help make the experience of bathing not as harsh on her.
And having her doctor order someone in to help her 2-3x per week is great idea! Really helps when it doesn't have to be you, the family member, nagging at them to bathe.
Check out the answers to the question concerning disposable gloves that provide a waterless shower. I got some at a pharmacy and am very impressed with them. It might take the stress out of showering. I hope they work for your mom.
And having her doctor order someone in to help her 2-3x per week is great idea! Really helps when it doesn't have to be you, the family member, nagging at them to bathe.