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Mom sold her house now keeps looking to buy another house. Really needs independent living. Mom (80 yr old with dementia) sold house;all belongings in storage. Now she keeps bugging realtor to find her the perfect house. She has lost several thousands of dollars in home inspections and earnest money after changing her mind about buying house ( total of 14 houses) how can I get her to move into independent living apartment

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Yes, where is she now? I would do everything possible to keep her from buying a house. You mentioned she has dementia. Does anyone have POA? Is guardianship possible? I assume she relies on you and others to help her in this house hunting, moving, storage adventures. Don't do it. Don't enable this reckless financial behavior. She'll get mad but deal with it. She's going to need assets to pay for her care. Tough love.
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BTW, my dad developed dementia a few years ago and began moving financial assets all over the place, hiding documents, obsessing about his safe deposit box and generally made a huge mess of things before I realised how bad he was. I was able to get POA from him and mom and it took me weeks to find everything and get it all straighten out. I just barely got in under the wire. As his dementia has progressed I would never be able to get him to grant POA now but no judge would declare him incompetent at this point. I would be totally stuck if I had not acted when I did.
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Could you propose an assisted living place as temporary housing while she shops for a house. Maybe she would become involved in the activities and services and lose interest in shopping for a house. Just make certain it is the right fit/place for her.
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Where is she living now?
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Make a date with your mom if you are close by. Look up places in your area, schedule some tours. Be frank with your mom. Tell her this may be a better alternative choice for her, in her favor. They can plan these tours around social actvities or lunchtime. Or, check out these places with your friend. If you like any, may another appointment to visit them with your mom. Honestly, you still need to be close to mom, so you can check up on her if need be...Do ask questions, do ask what activites they have and do they take them on outings? to Store? shopping? park? other excursions? Do they offer hygeine care? administer medications? Take them to her doctor appointments? etc. Look on this website, good info here.
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Mom currently lives with my sister & BIL Sister is on disability cannot handle mom I an a nurse she refuses to talk to me or live with me
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Mom currently lives with my sister & BIL Sister is on disability cannot handle mom I an a nurse she refuses to talk to me or live with me
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I went through the same thing. I am the daughter and her sons were no heip. She needed assisted living and I knew that there would be a major incident. It would be a fall or heart issues etc. It came in the form of a "heart incident" (read mild attack). She was hospitalized and then I conspired with assited living who also had rehab on site to tell her that the doctor wanted her to stay for awhile. It was really hard but it worked for awhile at least.
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She is wasting her assets and not making sound financial decisions, according to your statements. That would be a good reason for a court to appoint someone as Guardian of her estate. That way, she is not in control of her money and the guardian makes the decisions for her. It's a great way to protect her, but it's a tough road to go through the courts that way and causes lots of hurt feelings. I would do it though, if her dementia is bad enough and she is not aware she's wasting her money.

The dementia can make her an easy victim to a crook and she could suffer tremendous loss of her savings.

As others have suggested, I would try to get her to voluntarily move some where she can be protected. Of course, if she wants to leave, there is nothing to stop her. If no one has Durable Power of Attorney and Healthcare POA, it makes it difficult to protect her from herself.

Does she have any health issues that she might benefit from therapy, such as sore knees, bad back, etc. Sometimes going into a facility for therapy sounds good as long as they think it's temporary. Good luck.
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