How can I get mom to agree to go to day care so I can have a break?

My husband didn't want to go, either. I told him, "You know I am doing everything humanly possible to keep you home with me. I like having you here, and I think it is best for you. But I also need some days I can count on to make my own dentist and doctor appointments and to schedule time to be in the office. I'm doing what I can. I need you to help me by doing what you can." In his lucid periods he could understand that reasoning. He went 2 or 3 days a week for about 3 years. I think it was good for him. He didn't agree. But he went. When we had quarterly care conferences the director always asked him, "Why are you here?" and he always answered "So Jeanne can have some time to herself."

Not everyone with dementia can be that understanding and cooperative. You'll have to judge Mom's likely reaction. But if laying in on the line has any chance of working, tell her you need her to do this for you. You think that she will enjoy it, but whether she does or not she will be safe and cared for and you need some time to yourself.

Go luck! And please come back and tell us what you try and what worked best. We learn from each other!

Can you go with her for a few times to get her feet wet, or perhaps find someone that will go with her in your stead for a few times?

If you can get her in the door, the people that work iin the daycare centers are usually really good with them. My mother refused at first and my sister told her she had to go at least one time and try it and she ended up loving it. she progressed and is now in a memory center but the daycare was great while it lasted. Good luck

Day care is wonderful! My mom started with a half day a week two tears ago. She now goes 5 days. Her dementia is to the point that each morning is a battle to get her to go because she doesn't remember going before. I have become very creative in methods and stories to get her in the car which she also forgets by the time she has the seatbelt on. Each day she is so relived when I pick her up, sometimes almost frightened. The distraction that I use then is saying "but you had a wonderful time didn't you? To which she replies oh yes. Her mood changes instantly and the evening goes better.