They never liked each other and Mom had done some mean things to my Dad and myself which I have forgiven but it seems he cannot. He has always been there for me and I love him for that. but now we all just need to get along.
Hindsight is 20/20 vision, of course, but it sounds like you made the wrong decision last November. Moving in with a mother who is mean to you and whom your ill husband does not like was not likely to work out well. And it didn't.
So, move out. Help Mom hire some household help, or help her apply for aid so that she can afford it.
You have your hands full caring for a husband with dementia.
Mom's house,finances tight, had to quit my job to take care of husband. Mom needs help around the house. I do cooking and cleaning for her, drive her to dr's etc We have all been together since last November. Husband diagnosed fall of 2010. We came to visit and she asked us to live with her.
It is a nice wish that you call get along, but I don't think it is going to happen.
Are you living in your house or in Mother's? Does mother also need care? Hubby has dementia. What are Mom's impairments? You say she has been mean to both of you. How does it happen that you are living together?
How long have you been together? How long ago was Hubby diagnosed?
Sorry for all the questions, but if we have a better idea of the situation perhaps we can offer more specific suggestions.
So, move out. Help Mom hire some household help, or help her apply for aid so that she can afford it.
You have your hands full caring for a husband with dementia.
help around the house. I do cooking and cleaning for her, drive her to dr's etc
We have all been together since last November. Husband diagnosed fall of
2010. We came to visit and she asked us to live with her.
Are you living in your house or in Mother's? Does mother also need care? Hubby has dementia. What are Mom's impairments? You say she has been mean to both of you. How does it happen that you are living together?
How long have you been together? How long ago was Hubby diagnosed?
Sorry for all the questions, but if we have a better idea of the situation perhaps we can offer more specific suggestions.