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I need help and I know they can afford to send money for me to hire help. Even his siblings don't care, his father is 87 and he told me if I put him (his own son) in a nursing home he will end up in seven before its over ~

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I am confused. Your husband is ill, but your FIL is 87. And the FIL said that your husband would end up in 7 nursing homes. Is that right?
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Me too.
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Yes this is correct my father in law is 87 his daughters are helping him at his home. But my husband is 64 in worse health than his father. But his father also knows what I have dealt with caring for him.Sad but true !
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7 nursing homes? What is that about?
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I would tell FIL that it may very well be a psychiatric hospital if assisted living or nursing home don't work. As his wife, it is up to you, not FIL.
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Your FIL knows what you have dealt with… well I'm glad you feel appreciated by him, at least. But I haven't a clue what's going on.

Is it as simple as your requiring your husband's sons by a previous marriage to contribute to his income?

What are your husband's care needs?
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