What to do when you get hardly any help without begging?

WHY do you "have to" take care of your FIL and a 63 year old woman who told you you can't take time out to have surgery? Slavery was abolished over 200 years ago.

If you have low self esteem and it's a factor in allowing these people to manipulate you, try to find a support group for emotionally battered women; you'll need to respect yourself enough to stand up to these people and stop the domination.

Not really sure who you are taking care of here but you can't take care of anyone if you are not well yourself.

Please come back to clarify, but if someone is telling you to neglect yourself, laugh gently and say " I couldn't possibly do that"...

You don't need you time at all Tired you need them out of your realm of caring. They are not YOUR family. You have done your bit with YOUR blood relatives. Time for THEIR blood relatives to step up to the plate. Put up or shut up is what they need to be told. There is no question that you can continue to care for someone who is violent. And your sister in law? whats that about. Your very first sentence contained these words

I have to take care of

There is no I in team me dear and no 'u' in this particular team. This is NOT your job, not your role, you have already been abused by the person you have so generously cared for. It has to stop. let me give you a scenario

OK so he punched you and you were probably shaken but OK. What if you had been off balance when he punched you? What if YOU had fallen and hit your head on the corner of a table and suffered brain damage? What if you had fallen and broken your arm or even just sprained a wrist? Who is going to do the care then? You can bet your life they would take some action then. I would tell them you are going away for a few days respite. Tell your husband you are going. His family his time to act - IT IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM IT IS HIS PROBLEM and if he won't sort it one way then I am afraid you have to be more direct. GA and I are right behind you hun xxxxxx

Sounds as if you could leave in protest and go be with someone in your own family with the ultimatum that husband and family need to figure this out and solve it. Sometimes the instinct to walk out is actually pretty correct overall.

I am absolutely certain, hand on heart, that GA was not suggesting you give up prayer.

What she was saying is that prayer alone will not save you from further abuse.

Any higher being whose guidance said endure being a punchbag would not be a higher being I would subscribe to and despite the 'turn the other cheek' speech by Jesus in Matthew 5 I do have to tell you that that did not mean be a doormat - it was in fact a very clever way of inviting someone to act in a way that would demonstrate to their peers that rather than being of a higher class than another, that we are all equal (before god would be the assumption there). (see told you lot I used to be a Sunday School teacher before I lost my faith)

PS to all those on here of other faiths or of no faith I used the terms from the Bible because Tired indicated she was a Christian and for no other reason xxx

Tired, I didn't mean to sound harsh, but I'm literally outraged at the treatment to which you've been subjected. Don't let them manipulate you any longer.

Do they live with you? I agree, tell them your health has to come first or you can't take of them,, and if that happens they will have to go to AL, or anywhere else. Where is hubs in all this? Any other siblings on his side you can TELL to help?

My husband is a truck driver, I use to ride with him. But that stopped over six months ago. I told him tonight that HE had to tell his family that the last day is Dec. 31st.. I was told he would be in a home be then. But I doubt that is happening. Between my sister in law and my father in la, I get little rest. I am tired of trying to talk,

Tired, if you don't walk out of this situation, you will be more than tired. You'll be sick, injured or worse. The time for this man to be placed is NOW.

Tired--
I really hope you are ready to walk away on the 31st. It is REALLY hard to set limits and follow through.
Not to make this a "religious" post, as we are not supposed to, I once had a therapist tell me that Jesus said "turn the other cheek.." but He also meant "don't stand there and get beaten to death".
Walk away in the 31st and don't look back. reclaim your life.