My granmom refuses to use the bathroom or use a diaper. How to get her to wear a diaper?

Sorry, but you put the diaper on and you put her in a onesie pajama that can only be opened from the back. If she screams and yells, you medicate her with an Rx from an MD.

I don't know goe123, it sounds like training a puppy LOL. I think it is a basic instinct ingrained in us all since we were potty trained to use a toilet, so much so that often elders in nursing homes cry when they reach the point of needing diapers permanently. If grandmom is soiling her room purposely then she has definitely gone off the rails cognitively. Discuss it with her doctors, perhaps there are meds that will help her. If not then I agree that it is time to seek out a higher level of care.

I don't know that it's possible to force her. My grandmother, when forced to wear a diaper and it was really secured on her would sometimes go to the back yard, reach in, and pull the stuffing out by the handfuls and throw it over the fence. Or, at night, would do the same but throw it onto the wall-to-wall carpeting that was under her bed.

When you say that she relives herself in her room, do you mean in a commode, or do you mean she just goes on the bed or in the corner or something like that? If it’s in a commode, I don’t know if you’re going to do any better than that.

But if you mean somewhere undesirable, like the bed or floor, I have several of those mattress pads that wick moisture away but protect the mattress. If Mom has an accident, I change it along with the sheets. Of course, that means laundry and doesn't solve the problem of the wet behind. Getting someone with a wet behind to change their clothes and wash their behind isn’t that easy, either, so it doesn’t solve the entire problem.

I purchased incontinence pads that you can put on furniture, but the washable ones, not the disposables that they sell at the drug stores. When Mom is especially having problems, I put those on top of the mattress pad because they’re easier to take off and wash than the entire mattress pad.

If it’s the floor, I’m trying to think how you could put these pads around so that she’s using them instead of right on the floor, but not sure if there’s a way to secure them.

ana345raghavan, what are your Grandmother's medical issues? Does she have memory problems, or is she just being stubborn?

My parents are in their 90's, and my Dad wouldn't wear Depends... finally my Mom got tired of cleaning up his messes so now she is making him clean up his own mishaps... guess what?.... Dad now is wearing Depends.

But if your Grandmother has memory issues and cannot understand why one needs to use a toilet and hates wearing a Depends, it is time for a higher level of care in a nursing home.

If it were me, I would check her in to a nursing home ASAP. It definitely sounds like dementia or Alzheimer's. You cannot possibly take care of her,.any longer. The most loving thing you can do for her, and yourself, is check her into NH. Best wishes on this transition. Don't try to be a super hero. Just because you get her into NH does not mean, you love her less. You love her more, if you get her appropriate care.