My granmom refuses to use the bathroom or use a diaper. How to get her to wear a diaper?

My mother had the hardest time with urine incontinence. 15-18 years ago it was little leaks and she refused to admit it. She smelled so bad. She was visiting me and I finally got her to use tena pads for the first time.

Eventually she had a really bad accident out in public and went 180 degrees in the other direction. She could not have on enough pads and briefs. She had on 5-6 layers of pads and briefs AND a girdle over that. She was now waddling like a toddler and had rashes because her skin could not breathe.

Another year has passed and she is no longer ambulatory and both urine and bowel incontinent. Her range of motion in her arms is pretty low. She has no choice whatsoever and probably couldn't get the undergarment off by herself anyway.

I have read on this site that some have had success putting real panties over the disposables, so it feels more secure on the body and "looks" like normal panties.

Some have put the diaper-style undergarment on backwards, with the tapes in the back and a pair of cloth underpants over that.

I've read of situations where the lady was willing to wear her normal panties as the first layer, then the disposable over that, and then another pair of normal panties.

Others have had to start using strip-proof clothes to keep the undergarment on the person. These are clothes that fasten in the back.

It's all a big experiment to find out what is going to work today and hope it still works tomorrow.

Well said!! I know for me...taking care of my parents...it's been a real journey to find answers as to what would work best for each of the changes that they have been going thru! Not easy! We all do our best! Thank god for this site, it really helps me...even if it's just to complain!

She has lost control of her life, her body does not function like it used to, but she still has control of her BM and by golly she is going to exert that control.
Personally, that sort of manipulation....forgivable though it may be , would push me to have her in a NH, where frankly they will diaper her up and sedate her if they have to.....they will not put up with the purposely unhousebroken.

My daughter went through a phase when she was little where she refused to poop. She had a poop that hurt once, and she was not doing that again.

Enter the smoothies with flax seed oil in them. The juice with benefiber in it. Fiber gummies. Anything we could get into her to blast it out. Turnip greens. Lots and lots of water. With patience, time, and occasional use of glycerin suppositories and Peri-Colace, we won and she got back onto a regular schedule. It was tough going there for a while.

Senior citizens can become constipated if they are dehydrated and their diet doesn't have enough fiber in it. This every bit as much fun to fix as it is with a 3 year old. If this is the case, talk to the doctor about what kind of stool softener to use and for how long. Don't want her to become dependent on those either.

Ismiami...your answer was pretty much like my first response! I wouldn't stand for it either. thanks for your honesty here!