Follow
Share

My 95 year old father refuses to bathe and it is getting bad. He does not need assistance and we have a walk in shower/tub. Nothing seems to work. help, anyone?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I've got the exact same problem with my 85-year old father. He is sooo stubborn! We've tried everything, from shame to flattery. But, one thing he loves to do it go out to play cards. I take him to euchre tournaments about twice a week. I only ask him to bath once a week, but can't even seem to get him to do that. He will even lie to me, but I can tell when I get there to pick him up because he STINKS! Even when he claims to have "washed up at the sink". He won't use soap, and that just does not get a body clean!

FInally I had to do something drastic on Monday night. I was on my way to pick him up for his euchre tournament. I asked him if he bathed, and he promised me that he did. When I arrived, the odor hooked me in the nose as soon as I walked in the door. I looked in his walk-in tub and found it dry as a bone. I confronted him, and he admitted it but still was uncooperative. For the first time ever, I walked out and left him at home and went to play cards alone. I think this really shook him up. The bad thing is, I felt really super guilty the whole night! I felt horrible doing that to him, and I dreaded the thought if anything happened to him between now and the next time I can take him out again.

Well, tonight we go out again. I called him and he agreed to get IN the bath-tub and wash up with SOAP. Now he KNOWS that I will leave him home if he does not comply. We shall see if the "tough love" approach finally does the trick!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thanks so much for your input! Unfortunately it is no longer an issue since my father passed away recently at the age of 96. I miss those little things now..
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

What is his reasoning? Why doesn't he want to bathe? I tell my Dad he smells like an old man, that usual works. Sponges baths work also.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

He is just stubborn. I tell him he smells and threaten him with not going out to eat, which he loves. He has gotten worse lately. I may have to hire someone to come in and give him a sponge bath (male).
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My dad is also resistant to showering, but he does wash up in the sink. I consider the 3 showers he's had in the past 15 months major victories!!! Perhaps once you refuse to take him out, and he believes you, he will agree. If not, I certainly empathize with you!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Would flattery work? Dad why would such a handsome man want to stink? I do know if it looks like I am trying to tell my Dad what to do he will never do as I want, but if I tell him you are a grown able to make your own decisions, and shut up about it. in a few days he comes around. Also I learned from a very wise woman. Never tell him what to do, ask him always using you in the question. For example, Do YOU want to get a sponge bath or take a shower? This way it's his decision not your nagging.

I feel for you. My 92 year old Dad has taken one shower in the last six months. If I get him a full sponge bath once a week, it's a miracle. I refuse to stress about it. I can't force him. I follow him around with neosporin. If I see a break in the skin or a bruise I put it on his skin. When he bitches I reply if you would get a bath I wouldn't have too.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter