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Getting the personal care ... Changing depends and cleaning up for the day goes from ok we get it started to mauk 80 instant defiance and aggression no way is this happening... I need helpful ways to turn this around.

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I figured mine out by making an agreement during lucid time ... Tuesday and Friday shower days... Mostly! This seems to work best as I have a day and the other care worker has one. Of course adjustments and just clean ups work too... It's a day by day thing
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Once they are in their pajamas, hide their clothes, put out new, and visa/versa.
Or, did you mean they sleep in same clothes as they wear in the daytime?

When and if they shower, set out new clothes.
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Ty been working with that and alot of prayer!!!
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Have you tried changing the time of day you try to get your patient dressed? First thing in the morning your patient may be cold, half asleep, hungry....Fix a nice breakfast, let them wake up a bit and then cheerfully inform them that it's time to get ready for the day. If they've been in wet Depends all night another hour won't hurt anything.
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You sit next to them at breakfast, and engage in conversation and joke telling. Get them relaxed and laughing. Then you knock over your cooled coffee and let it run off in their direction, soaking them really good. Apologizing profusely you shuffle them off to the bath, stand them in the tub and rinse the coffee off the hips and legs when OOPS you soak their shirt and hair and what the heck you may as well add shampoo. Rinse. Have warm towels at the ready.
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