How to get an 80 something woman with Alzheimer's to shower?

If all else fails, try using medline readybath wipes as an alternative to a shower. There are instructions on the package for a complete 'bath'. You can order them on amazon and cost about $35 for a case of 30 packages; there are two versions, 'select' and 'luxe'. They are the only wipes I've found to eliminate urine odor and underarm odor from the skin.

I have the same issue with my mom. I can't help with that, but I can help with some alternatives in the meantime. I heat water in a kettle and put it in a basin. I wet a washcloth (warm ,not hot) and spray perineal (sp?) cleaner on it. she is willing to wipe her own private parts and rear end with it. I supervise. I do find that cleaning one body part at a time helps. Like, one day we'll do torso, etc. My mom enjoys soaking her feet in warm, soapy water, so we do that. I also give her AZO cranberry pills to prevent UTI since cleanliness is an issue. HIghly recommended.

As a Home Instead Caregiver, I had one lovely lady who refused showers as well. I solved this problem using music! I would ask her what she'd like to hear...could be anything from Tony Bennett to the musical Oklahoma.I used Youtube on my cell phone and the music helped her to undress and shower. The music broke her stubborn attitude and showering became pure joy. She even sang along!

Go to youtube and watch the videos by Teepa Snow. Very good training.

We had the same problem with my Mom. We did put clean clothes out for each day. She is now further along with dementia and she would let us help with sponge baths. We also have a chair for the shower and a hand held hose. I gave her the choice of sponge bath or shower at first. Now she gets in the shower and I tell her step by step what we are going to do so there are no surprises. Best wishes to you, it is not an easy situation.

Although my mom had willing aides, she would only allow me to shower her. I was honored to provide that to her (she would still only want it once a week) and i would talk to her the whole time about everything but the actual Task at hand so she wouldn't be embarrassed or humiliated by focusing on the fact that the daughter was now bathing the parent. It was important as it gave me an opportunity to observe her body for marks, sores, etc. I guess the point is we gotta do what we gotta do but they don't have to be as aware of it. Another tactic is to focus on health, that bathing is a necessity for good health, not only smelling good. Perhaps your lady week respond to wanting to avoid health issues? I hope so. Best to you

My dad, with pretty bad dementia, would not shower for weeks at a time, and would always tell me he had just showered, even though the shower and towels were dry, and he smelled terrible with his urinary incontinence and refusal to wear Depends. He lived alone but had visits from his kids twice a day, for meds and meals. Poor thing just did not realize how bad it was, and as his daughter, I was NOT going to be the one to help him in the shower (nor would he allow it). He WAS capable, and had shower bench and all he needed, just had no inclination to get in there. (I hear that some dementia patients begin to fear the falling water.) But when a woman (who was not his daughter) was coming to visit, he was sure to get in there and get cleaned up and fresh and shaved! Maybe your mother would clean up if there were a charming man expected to visit? Someone who would stay ten minutes and smile at her and hold her hand?

Get a shower chair and watch her and help her so she doesn't slip. Put clean clothes out for her. She might not like the intrusion, but hopefully she will go along and not fight you.

Mar126, thanks for the Readibath tip. My 95 year old mother has had hygiene issues for several years now. As her dementia progresses she becomes more stubborn, but she is not far enough gone to be open to anyone assisting her with bathing. She still thinks of herself as a perfectly capable, rational, independent person. She will claim that she showered, but often the shower and towels will be miraculously dry. Then she gets upset because I don't believe her when she says she bathed. Even when she does get in and run the water I can't be sure that she actually washed the critical areas.

Afterwards she climbs into the same dirty clothes unless I can sneak them into the laundry while her back is turned. Mind you, she has two closets filled to the brim with nice outfits but insists upon that one pair of smelly slacks with the stains on them. She doesn't understand why they need to be washed. I distract her by showing her how pretty this blouse looks with these pants, and soon she forgets about the purloined garments, which I toss in the trash if they are too stained, and never mention them again. Soon out of sight and mind.

I did the same with a heavy old beat-up purse that was not good for her back. It was filled with used tissues and enough tubes of lipstick to rival a Revlon cosmetic counter. I bought a purse that looked similar but was slightly smaller and much lighter. her first reaction was "This isn't my purse!" After several assurances that it was and showing her all her (much trimmed down) stuff inside, eventually she accepted that it was indeed her purse.

One thing that has helped with my mom (who has the same issue) is saying, "Mom, it's shower time. WE both need showers today. Do you want me to go first, or do you want to go first so I don't use up all the hot water?!" Mom pretty much always opts for an immediate shower so she'll have enough hot water! Then I sneak in and replace the dirty clothes that she wants to get back into, with clean clothes. It usually works pretty well. Good luck! This is not an easy time...