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I used to be a weight lifter, so I've been familiar with meal prepping all my meals on one day for quite some time.


Fast forward 6 years and with caregiving and constantly working overtime at my paying job, I do not have TIME for shopping, preparing, cooking, cleaning, and doing it all over again.


I get one day off from paying job per week, and the rest of my time is absolutely CONSUMED.


I found an online company that will send me vacuum sealed, wholesome, barely salted, fully cooked meals. I order enough for my entire household to get 2 meals/day 6 days a week.


It can be pretty pricey, but I was able to get the cost to $190-$230 for a family of 3 humans. YES, EXPENSIVE- but not too much more than groceries cost for my area, with no preparing and very little dishes or kitchen cleaning.


Do you guys have anything that has made such a POSITIVE impact in your care giving x life balance?

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A game changer that Mom liked for years is water shoes. They cling to the foot and do not slip around like socks do, even the kind with gripper bottoms. At the stage of the game when Mom used them, she was past walking long distances and so the shoes didn't need to have a stiff sole.
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These posts on food have inspired me. I have a butcher shop with some nice prepared foods (heat and serve) so today I will try to get something from there and make dinner a little easier on myself. I vow to start using shortcuts and whatever I can to make life easier. Keep the tips coming.

One thing I have noticed is I MUST give myself chunks of time to get things done, like make phone calls to insurance, etc. and I have to put my foot down and ask for no interruptions unless it's an emergency. I have to be very strict on this because I see people can take advantage of you if you aren't firm and it is incredibly frustrating to deal with interruption after interruption. I actually forgot to pay a bill because of these type of interruptions. When people are ill, they can be very demanding.
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Geaton777 Sep 2019
Silverspring, I use online banking to automatically pay bills that come regularly, especially if they are insurance bills, which you don't want to lapse. Makes life a little simpler and is safer (no large checks in mailboxes).
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Yes, the meals were a definite bonus when I was caring 24/7 and couldn’t get out to shop! Ironically the freezer slowly filled with potato’s and carrots etc as I’d get some for dad to “prepare” for the meal. He loved being able to help and would always say how much nicer the potatoes etc were if that’s what he’d done that day.

Another was the hospital mattress that could be wiped clean after an accident in bed, Still had loads of washing but at least the mattress was easily dealt with.

Lastly - and I see someone else has said it too - humour - has been a key aspect
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We have a common "Mom" calendar on Google, so my siblings and I can coordinate visits and activities with her (she lives in AL). Then we also have a Dakboard which connects wirelessly with the calendar and hangs on Mom's wall, so she can see what is coming up.
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Eloise1943 Aug 2019
I think what you have done for your mom is so wonderful. I really love that she has a way to see what’s coming up.
i am a caregiver for my husband and I get so lonesome. I’m thinking maybe something like that would actually help ME.
Bless all of you
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Humor: When something is out of place or done wrong or something that irritates either of us, We blame the dog. Then we have a good laugh about it.
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anonymous828521 Sep 2019
Lol, I luv that...blame the dog..
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My mom already had a computer on which she played Solitare. She felt that she did not need an internet service provider, since she did not use the internet. I updated her plan,bundled her phone to include a higher speed internet, upgraded her older router to a wireless router, and converted her older TV to a "smart" TV . Going forward through her cognitive changes, I was able to stream Youtube videos of her favorite entertainers for her, as well as add security cameras, video doorbell, remote access lighting, and movement sensors to monitor her through out the day.

Upgrading her computer was one of the smartest things I ever did.
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cwillie Aug 2019
I need someone like you to come and do that to my house, all of it sounds wonderful!
I think streaming YouTube videos would be fantastic for the local nursing home lounge, I wish somebody there was more willing to do a little bit of modernizing.
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Think like a Luddite! My 92 year old Mom has trouble with techology so I always have to take a deep breath and think simple when I have to explain things to her. Just the basics, not to much info or she gets confused.

She insisted on getting the cable in her AL hooked up but didn’t understand how it worked. I got her a simplified remote and taped over the buttons she didn’t need. I made her a chart listing the channels she was used to on free broadcast TV and added the new cable channel numbers next to them. I also subscribed her to TV Guide because she couldn’t figure out the on-line guide. Now that she has had time to explore her TV options I plan on programming her favorites to simplify things.
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Eloise1943 Aug 2019
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I know of one second hand. Twenty-year Army Man Stepdad's 1st wife moved with him to Panama in the 50s with their 3 year old and when everything was hectic getting settled on base, she used the bottom of dinner plates. Use it right side up, turn it over, use the bottom for meal #2, wash once. The rim kept the food in place.
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I put down a silver tarp over the carpet same size as the bedroom floor. I put some wide thin plywood pieces under the bed leg feet to protect the tarp. On top of that large bath towels and on top of those both rug runners and scatter rugs. Accident cleanup was then a few minutes. The infected towels and rugs went into the washer. The tarp got quickly scrubbed and dried. Whole thing became a quick routine. 

Saved the carpet and eliminated carpet spot cleaning. Most importantly it eliminated much stress.
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Ahmijoy Jul 2019
I have 2 questions, qmnpxl. First, if your loved one was mobile, how did you keep them from slipping and falling on the rugs/towels? Also, where did you get the tarp, was it water (pee) proof, and how did you wash it? How long was it before you had to replace it?

Sorry. Just realized that’s more than 2 questions...😁😁
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I take care of my 83yr old mother who has Alzheimers and lives on her own. I'm remote part time, spending a few weeks with her each month (long story for another time! I own my control and avoidance issues.) She's still healthy, continent, mobile, social, and communicative, and I'm grateful.

SmartThings sensors let me know where she is in the house, and cameras allow me to peek in. Logitech Harmony software and remotes let me "fix" the TV from my phone when she can't get her shows. Alexa rounds out the system so that she can verbally turn lights and TV on and off, change channels, get news, weather, and music on demand, plus I can drop in for video calls.

We were able to manage pill trays for her BP and cholesterol meds until this past spring when her own devised system (take pills then document on the calendar) started to fail and she'd either take multiple days in one or skip several days. I was considering getting a visiting nurse to come in when I discovered what I call Rosie the robo pillbox, an automatic, locking 28 slot pill dispenser with Wifi and an app that notifies me. I no longer need to ask if she's taken her pills, she no longer has resentment that I'm nagging her about her pills. Rechargeable battery but also works on AC - and notifies me if the battery is low or not charging. It works on its own without the app, too. Best. Money. Spent. Ever.
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polarbear Jul 2019
cydancing - Boy oh boy! I love your high tech gadgets.
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I agree with Linzy. My folks didn’t do much in their last years to plan for old age or end of life but they did save their money and had purchased grave plots.

After my folks went into assisted living I had POA but still had to go through the guardianship process due to some real estate issues and one crappy bank.

I had been through so many crises with my folks already and did not want to deal with all the details of funerals and burial when the time came. So I bought two pre paid, all inclusive burial plans through the local funeral homes. Mom and dad were not competent any longer at this point but in many talks with them from years past I had a very clear idea of their wishes so I didn’t involve them in the planning as it would have been impossible.

Years ago, When my sister and brother died suddenly within two years of each other mom was so grief stricken she spent an obscene amount of money on caskets and all the trappings.

Mom died last year and we had a nice simple service and I was freed up from all the arrangements. It made things so much easier in a stressful time. And I didn’t spend a silly amount of money so I could insure dad continues to get good care at his memory care place.
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Linzy6 Jul 2019
It saddens me to see families spend more than they can afford for funeral expenses. A casket can be purchased from Costco's website very reasonably, with free overnight shipping.
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Not exactly what you asked for, but something I'm glad my siblings and I did: Pre-plan for the inevitable end of this caregiving journey.

I asked for and typed my parents' final wishes years in advance while they were still in fairly good health. Asked them to sign and date the document, then made copies for them and my sibs. I promised we would fulfill their wishes, then never brought up the subject again.

My siblings and I decided on the casket/burial/grave marker & engraving/obituary, and other details in advance. We got together and accomplished a lot of this in one evening in a relaxed setting. Gave the funeral home this info, along with some special instructions. We kept all the paperwork and receipts together in a large manila envelope.

It was a huge relief to know everything was taken care of ahead of need. Decisions were well-thought out, and no added stress during a difficult time.
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I got my mom a cheap Verizon tablet on which she plays card games and Lumosity brain exercises. I got it for her about 5 years ago because she was hounding me for a smart phone (NOPE). She loves playing the games and reading books on it. My mom is now 90.

For my 100 yr old aunt in FL who cares for her 97 yr old sister with dementia: a frozen food service (gourmetkitchen.com) that she can call and place orders. Lots of variety, tasty and healthy. Microwaveable. Also talked them into Visiting Angels service for a companion who plays cards with them, takes them grocery shopping and does light housekeeping. Their Angel is awesome! And, they have 2 cats so I have a special cat litter delivered to them (Pretty Litter) that has NO odor, only needs to be changed once a month, and has the ability to change color if the cat is sick (it did change color once and the cat did have a UTI).

FYI for seniors with dementia they often love watching the goofy animal videos on YouTube, so if you have young kids in your family arrange for them to spend some time with them showing them these videos (preferably on a larger device, like iPad or tv). My 97 yr old aunt was transfixed at the videos and laughed a lot. Laughing is so good for them.
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LizO66 Jul 2019
Just curious - why nope on the smart phone?  My mom has one and seems responsible with it, but am asking in case there is something I need to look out for!!
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Boredom and loneliness are real. I forgot another super valuable tool. If your LO has vision problems, difficulty processing the printed word, or even physical trouble holding a book, turning pages, etc., the Library of Congress can loan a talking book machine until the machine is no longer needed. The machine is sturdy, sound is very clear, the buttons are big and even announce what they do. The machine runs on a long lasting battery and recharges quickly. Your LO can be sent audio books/magazines of interest free of charge through the mail. But perhaps best of all, there is a website you can go to and download audio books, and the website describes the book and tells you how many minutes/hours it is, so you can find itemd that can work with your LO's interests, cognitive ability, or attention span. This helped us while away many hours with my stepdad, and sometimes the story would trigger some interesting conversation or memories.
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Using Pillpack (pre-packaged medications which also includes any vitamins or nonprescription meds) instead of having to fill pill boxes. Saves me at least two hours every two weeks.
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I put a nice looking wood handrail that runs along the wall near the bed. This is how I get her dressed - she knows the routine, to grab the bar and stand up for underwear change, and it also helps her to get to her portable toilet. Also have a baby monitor which is sometimes helpful and sometimes not - depends on whether she will call out for help or not. I put a door alert just in cause one of the them makes it outside at night. I've started using Instacart and have been using Walmart and Amazon, also some of the online vitamin stores have food at good prices and will send it through UPS. A wipe off calendar - I keep two on door for this month and next month. Otherwise would never keep up with appointments. I fixed a small pantry where I keep extra pudding snacks, crackers, juice, paper towels etc. I hate having to make a last minute trip when I run out. We have had a chest freezer for a long time, and I have a cousin who runs wedding event catering and she said make large batch of casseroles, then freeze smaller portions, and I also keep extra bread in the freezer. I have a one month medicine system. It has small boxes for each day of the month. I would rather take 30 minutes to fill it than to have to fill a small box every week. Also any care worker can easily see what pills need to be taken. I laminated a small card with medicines and health problems - doctor was impressed! So much better than having to go over and over the list with several health people - just hand it to them.
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I am a long distance caregiver for my dad who’s in memory care. Back when he was still driving, he could handle the car fine, good eyesight, no dings etc but was having short term memory problems. I found a GPS tracking device on line that simply plugged in under the dash of the car. I could follow his every move, speed, travel history and real time movements. Dad wasn’t aware of the device. He would have thrown a fit. I tracked him every day for about 4 years and I could see him starting to wander and forget where he was going.

I finally had to disable the car and use the YOUR CAR WAS TOWED TO BE FIXED ruse. Dad followed mom into assisted living a few days later.
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Before my MIL moved in with us, she used a traditional pharmacy for the multiple prescriptions she needed. Mostly, we would stop by the pharmacy after a doctor's appointment so I could run in and get what she needed. Once or twice a month, she would mess up and I would get The Call. I would have to stop what I was doing to run to the pharmacy, get her meds and take them to her because her life saving medicine ran out that afternoon/the next day. Arghh...

When we were talking about her living with us, I told her I would not be driving to her pharmacy for her since it is 20 miles from the new house. She argued that the pharmacist knows her and her needs but I held firm that I wasn't driving past three other pharmacies to get to the one she used for years.

Luckily, we have a pharmacy in the area with a delivery service that accepted her insurance. She was reluctant to change but found that having her prescriptions delivered was a Godsend. She also enjoyed the company of the person who dropped off the meds even if it was only for a few minutes.
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Frances73 Jul 2019
Have you considered a pill pack pharmacy? Mom uses that at her assisted living, her meds are prepackaged and labeled with the time of day when they are to be taken. Saves a LOT of arguments!
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These are the thing which have helped me. Mom lives in an apt on my property at 83. Not willing to drive but still fairly mobile except for going out in heat, heart and blood pressure problems, fairly home bound. I have a full time job, some business travel and hubby travels rarely. No outside help from siblings.
1) housekeeper in her home bi-weekly
2) grocery delivery for her favorite and fresh items
3) Nutrasystem - brother suggested it and she likes it.
4) I take a staycation somewhere locally when I can
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My hack was a simple one - ask for help with my mother (occasionally) as I had to live with her out of state to provide care for her for an extended period, knowing that if I didn't ask these people to give her the very rare occasional ride to the doctor's or dentist, that I would most surely crash and burn.
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Ordering groceries online to be delivered to my home.
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Since so much time is taken up with my mom (laundry, bills, errands, etc) I’ve hired someone to come & do my vacuuming & cleaning the bathrooms for me. I try not to worry about a bit more dust & as long as we’re fed & kitchen is tidy I’m ok. I used to be a “clean freak” but had to learn I just can’t do everything anymore.
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Thanks for sharing details of your amazing life hack! I work online and cook as much as before because I enjoy it, but housecleaning was rarely enjoyable. I still do laundry and to answer your question, I have changed my standards re housecleaning: if the house is free of vermin, there are no tripping hazards, and spills get cleaned promptly, then it's enough. Gone are the days of Comet cleanser, washing walls, spritzing light switches, mopping, vacuuming, and so forth.
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freqflyer Jul 2019
Whew, here I thought I was the only one who put aside a lot of the major housework. Glad to know I am not alone :)
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Amazon & Typewritten Lists in order if priority + wall calendar. One list is just for me, which we call "Private Benjamin," One is for groceries and the other is for household handyman type chores. (NOTE: Dad and I agreed that health comes 1st, Then personal priorities or appointments for us are the dogs, Then the house and a wishlist.) If he brings up something low on the priority list I give him an either or choice. Do you want the total it repaired or do you want him to paint the front of the house entryway?)

When they are completed we cross them off, and dad makes his comments in the corner margin.

It's a great help.
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Mjlarkan, the door wreaths you mention are a reminder how much my Mom enjoyed not only hers, but viewing all the ones she would pass by in the hallways of her facility. Many family members would change them seasonally, which was enjoyed by other residents and staff as well. It's a great gift idea, too, for elders who have become hard to shop for.
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Frances73 Jul 2019
My mom’s facility does this. It’s amazing the creativity of the residents and families.
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Great life hack ideas above. Thanks for sharing.
Right before I moved my mother into Assisted Living apartment, I did two simple things that still helps her 3 years later. 1) I noticed that lots of apartments had things on the door. I found on Etsy a very large, bright pink, beautiful burlap sunflower wreath. She loved it, but more importantly, she uses it to help her find her way back from activities. She sees that bright pink and feels relief. 2) I had individual vinyl stickers made (Etsy) and placed them on outside of all the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom drawers. Towels, wash rags, silverware, panties, pajamas, socks, etc... Such a simple thing that helps her so much.
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My hack is realizing I was in over my head and stopping. I’ve been disabled since 1988. When my stepfather started with Alzheimer’s I was still not housebound so took them to dr appointments etc once my mother found it overwhelming to drive and watch him alone ( she refused to get any outside help). Once he passed away the caregiving for him rapidly caught up with her and her dementia skyrocketed as well as infections , a fib etc so I started taking her meals as well as appointments etc. She finally relented and got a housekeeper a couple times a month but after about a year I was 75% housebound. When the siblings refused to do much to help( token visits ) and threw a fit when my daughters helped her( and thereby me) , I said no more. So much easier knowing my limits
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My stepdad had swallowing issues, so we had to puree most things. Found a machine called a Baby Brezza that steams on a timer, then purees. It was handy because if I forgot it for a few minutes because of some other "adventure," food didn't get burned on the stove. Also, I could prepare batches, freeze them in silicon "ice cube" trays (2 ounce, cute little round "cubes"--brand is Baby Bliss, but other brands are out there too), pop those out and put them in a freezer bag labelled with description and date, and just drop one or two in a custard cup, microwave a couple of minutes as needed. We also found that Hormel makes already pureed entrees that store on the pantry shelf (not freezer) and microwave in one minute. Most were not too salty. Ordered these online from a place called Healthy Kin, I think. Easy little cups such as custard cups, and/or a plate with compartments made it easier for him to eat (blind) without trying to chase mush around on the plate. The goal was to have prep-intensive food available without it being obvious that it was prep intensive, so we could have a family meal and have him not be embarrassed by a bunch of scurrying around and noisy blenders (an "ouch" for him and Mom, with hearing aids) all the time), yet have safe swallowing. A little, quick food chopper was handy for salad.
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Addendum to my previous message: I also cook a lot of frozen carrots, when the Stouffers Chien, Rice and Vegetable is baking in the oven. When all is done, I put about half the dinner in a big bowl with some carrots. I add some warm to hot water to the food in the bowl. Then serve with a slice of bread with crust off. And apple juice with some Miralax.
I take the leftovers and put them together in a big container and add water. Now I have enough for 2 more meals. Just have to heat it up. We have no microwave.
This food is soft and easy to chew too, for Step Dad.
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two saving graces: Walmart and amazon
i know there are other places where you can order things but I like these two. I start an online order with Walmart and add to it as I see things I need. When I have an order ready I complete it pick a day and time to go get it. They also deliver for a nominal fee. Amazon is great and stand by all there items. I order quite a lot and return some. Just drop it at UPS. I am a 24/7 caregiver but can get to Walmart or ups and be back in 15 min.
Not-sure what I would do without these services
also I finally took my husband to Council on Agings retreat (adult day care center) He enjoyed the socializing and I was able to have a few hours to myself. He is actually looking forward to going again. I never thought this would work but it has thank God
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TiredSue Jul 2019
Yes - these have both been lifesavers for me too! I can't leave my husband alone so grocery shopping is out. Walmart grocery pick up has been great for us because it can be an activity to get him out of the house for a bit, and even get a treat (from a drive through) if he's feeling like it. He also feels like he's contributing since he can have input when I make the list online. We tried the meals from Freshly when they had their new customer discount but he didn't care for them and he has specific dietary needs that they couldn't address so we only used them for two weeks.

Another hack I used when my Mom lived with us was to put a diaper genie in her bathroom for wipes and Depends. It definitely helped with the smell situation!
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