General caregiving hack: what is the ONE hack/shortcut you have found that has been a game changer... or as near to it as you've found?

I got my mom a cheap Verizon tablet on which she plays card games and Lumosity brain exercises. I got it for her about 5 years ago because she was hounding me for a smart phone (NOPE). She loves playing the games and reading books on it. My mom is now 90.

For my 100 yr old aunt in FL who cares for her 97 yr old sister with dementia: a frozen food service (gourmetkitchen.com) that she can call and place orders. Lots of variety, tasty and healthy. Microwaveable. Also talked them into Visiting Angels service for a companion who plays cards with them, takes them grocery shopping and does light housekeeping. Their Angel is awesome! And, they have 2 cats so I have a special cat litter delivered to them (Pretty Litter) that has NO odor, only needs to be changed once a month, and has the ability to change color if the cat is sick (it did change color once and the cat did have a UTI).

FYI for seniors with dementia they often love watching the goofy animal videos on YouTube, so if you have young kids in your family arrange for them to spend some time with them showing them these videos (preferably on a larger device, like iPad or tv). My 97 yr old aunt was transfixed at the videos and laughed a lot. Laughing is so good for them.

Not exactly what you asked for, but something I'm glad my siblings and I did: Pre-plan for the inevitable end of this caregiving journey.

I asked for and typed my parents' final wishes years in advance while they were still in fairly good health. Asked them to sign and date the document, then made copies for them and my sibs. I promised we would fulfill their wishes, then never brought up the subject again.

My siblings and I decided on the casket/burial/grave marker & engraving/obituary, and other details in advance. We got together and accomplished a lot of this in one evening in a relaxed setting. Gave the funeral home this info, along with some special instructions. We kept all the paperwork and receipts together in a large manila envelope.

It was a huge relief to know everything was taken care of ahead of need. Decisions were well-thought out, and no added stress during a difficult time.

I agree with Linzy. My folks didn’t do much in their last years to plan for old age or end of life but they did save their money and had purchased grave plots.

After my folks went into assisted living I had POA but still had to go through the guardianship process due to some real estate issues and one crappy bank.

I had been through so many crises with my folks already and did not want to deal with all the details of funerals and burial when the time came. So I bought two pre paid, all inclusive burial plans through the local funeral homes. Mom and dad were not competent any longer at this point but in many talks with them from years past I had a very clear idea of their wishes so I didn’t involve them in the planning as it would have been impossible.

Years ago, When my sister and brother died suddenly within two years of each other mom was so grief stricken she spent an obscene amount of money on caskets and all the trappings.

Mom died last year and we had a nice simple service and I was freed up from all the arrangements. It made things so much easier in a stressful time. And I didn’t spend a silly amount of money so I could insure dad continues to get good care at his memory care place.

I take care of my 83yr old mother who has Alzheimers and lives on her own. I'm remote part time, spending a few weeks with her each month (long story for another time! I own my control and avoidance issues.) She's still healthy, continent, mobile, social, and communicative, and I'm grateful.

SmartThings sensors let me know where she is in the house, and cameras allow me to peek in. Logitech Harmony software and remotes let me "fix" the TV from my phone when she can't get her shows. Alexa rounds out the system so that she can verbally turn lights and TV on and off, change channels, get news, weather, and music on demand, plus I can drop in for video calls.

We were able to manage pill trays for her BP and cholesterol meds until this past spring when her own devised system (take pills then document on the calendar) started to fail and she'd either take multiple days in one or skip several days. I was considering getting a visiting nurse to come in when I discovered what I call Rosie the robo pillbox, an automatic, locking 28 slot pill dispenser with Wifi and an app that notifies me. I no longer need to ask if she's taken her pills, she no longer has resentment that I'm nagging her about her pills. Rechargeable battery but also works on AC - and notifies me if the battery is low or not charging. It works on its own without the app, too. Best. Money. Spent. Ever.

I put down a silver tarp over the carpet same size as the bedroom floor. I put some wide thin plywood pieces under the bed leg feet to protect the tarp. On top of that large bath towels and on top of those both rug runners and scatter rugs. Accident cleanup was then a few minutes. The infected towels and rugs went into the washer. The tarp got quickly scrubbed and dried. Whole thing became a quick routine. 

Saved the carpet and eliminated carpet spot cleaning. Most importantly it eliminated much stress.

I know of one second hand. Twenty-year Army Man Stepdad's 1st wife moved with him to Panama in the 50s with their 3 year old and when everything was hectic getting settled on base, she used the bottom of dinner plates. Use it right side up, turn it over, use the bottom for meal #2, wash once. The rim kept the food in place.

Think like a Luddite! My 92 year old Mom has trouble with techology so I always have to take a deep breath and think simple when I have to explain things to her. Just the basics, not to much info or she gets confused.

She insisted on getting the cable in her AL hooked up but didn’t understand how it worked. I got her a simplified remote and taped over the buttons she didn’t need. I made her a chart listing the channels she was used to on free broadcast TV and added the new cable channel numbers next to them. I also subscribed her to TV Guide because she couldn’t figure out the on-line guide. Now that she has had time to explore her TV options I plan on programming her favorites to simplify things.

My mom already had a computer on which she played Solitare. She felt that she did not need an internet service provider, since she did not use the internet. I updated her plan,bundled her phone to include a higher speed internet, upgraded her older router to a wireless router, and converted her older TV to a "smart" TV . Going forward through her cognitive changes, I was able to stream Youtube videos of her favorite entertainers for her, as well as add security cameras, video doorbell, remote access lighting, and movement sensors to monitor her through out the day.

Upgrading her computer was one of the smartest things I ever did.

Humor: When something is out of place or done wrong or something that irritates either of us, We blame the dog. Then we have a good laugh about it.

We have a common "Mom" calendar on Google, so my siblings and I can coordinate visits and activities with her (she lives in AL). Then we also have a Dakboard which connects wirelessly with the calendar and hangs on Mom's wall, so she can see what is coming up.

Yes, the meals were a definite bonus when I was caring 24/7 and couldn’t get out to shop! Ironically the freezer slowly filled with potato’s and carrots etc as I’d get some for dad to “prepare” for the meal. He loved being able to help and would always say how much nicer the potatoes etc were if that’s what he’d done that day.

Another was the hospital mattress that could be wiped clean after an accident in bed, Still had loads of washing but at least the mattress was easily dealt with.

Lastly - and I see someone else has said it too - humour - has been a key aspect

These posts on food have inspired me. I have a butcher shop with some nice prepared foods (heat and serve) so today I will try to get something from there and make dinner a little easier on myself. I vow to start using shortcuts and whatever I can to make life easier. Keep the tips coming.

One thing I have noticed is I MUST give myself chunks of time to get things done, like make phone calls to insurance, etc. and I have to put my foot down and ask for no interruptions unless it's an emergency. I have to be very strict on this because I see people can take advantage of you if you aren't firm and it is incredibly frustrating to deal with interruption after interruption. I actually forgot to pay a bill because of these type of interruptions. When people are ill, they can be very demanding.

A game changer that Mom liked for years is water shoes. They cling to the foot and do not slip around like socks do, even the kind with gripper bottoms. At the stage of the game when Mom used them, she was past walking long distances and so the shoes didn't need to have a stiff sole.