As previously posted DH flipped it big time when he went into respite care and ended up in the Acute Observation Ward of a major hospital. From there he went to a totally lockable mental health ward within the same hospital
His older brother came to see for himself and saw that DH cannot live in his own home any more and requires 24/7 care.
So now we are all on the same page except for DH who will not accept that he is going anywhere but back home. The doctors agree that the best way forward is for DH to enter permanent care. He will have his own room set up with his things. Family will visit and he will be able to be taken out and eventually stay over with me and then return to NH. There will be a mental health team who will be with him every day of the week etc until he is properly settled
However he is not cooperating at all. He is bossy and single minded. He steals staff phones and calls constantly. He has now filed for a tribunal hearing because he is protesting being held against his will, but if he is successful he has to have somewhere to go and he thinks he will go live with his 91 yo mother.
I have decided to take a harder line with him. Told him I will not answer any more calls from him, will only visit to pick up his washing then go and the same with his son. There will be no more visits with doughnuts, pizza, fish and chips, cakes or sweets and he will stay where he is until he agrees to his care plan. Can’t think of anything else to do.