Have a funny one-liner your Mom/Dad has blurted out?

My Dad was in the hospital being assessed over the xmas holidays. On new years eve he said to me " You've got to get me out of here. This place is filled with prostitutes. They're everywhere". At this exact same moment his night nurse came in and said. "Sir, time for me to help you into bed". He turned to me and said "See what'd I tell you? The place is filled!!! You need to get me out of here, your Mother wouldn't like this. It took me a moment to realize that the nurses were dressed from having arrived from a party or were headed to a party and may have had more make up on than usual. In his mind, he was surrounded by hookers:-) We all got a good laugh out of that! Well,he didn,t but we chuckled.

My father's memorial service was last Saturday and a relative went to pick up my mother, who has Alzheimer's, to bring her to the memorial. Well the relative was from another city and hadn't been in my neck of the woods very often, so she got lost. Time was running short so she just pulled over to reference her iPad for help. My mother said to her, "Well, we could just go to the movies!"

When I was caring for my dying father, he would have an emotional rant, and I would listen patiently. It was painful but not hard, because my Daddy loved me and I loved my Daddy. When he was through and had calmed down, he would say to me, "Jinx, you're saving my life." I could put up with incontinence and verbal abuse, knowing that that was how he really felt.

This is difficult, but my dad's last words to me were "Kung Pao Chicken".

I know so many of you are CG's of parents with the horrible ALZ. I don't envy any of you in those shoes. My MIL died of Lewy-Body dementia. I know of what I speak. It was a long and twisted road.

My dear dad, marathon runner, artist, health nut, was diagnosed with a brain tumor at 77 and died 2 1/2 months later. He died in a hospice house and he basically starved to death. Food or a stomach tube wouldn't have "helped" him when a tumor was taking over his skull.

As crazy as it sounds, Kung Pao Chicken, are comfort words to me. He and I shared a love for all things spicy ( it was OUR thing) and he was holding my hand when he said it. That glioblastoma blew the crap out of his brain, but I knew he was there with me at that moment, just as he was for the first 50 years of my life.

Now my mother in AL, her tack's not as sharp as it was, but still pretty shiny. Nothing real funny there...

its very hard for everyone but taking a laugh out of something a relative has said or done can make it feel like its not so bad after all, recently my nan fell on her bum and me and my mum couldnt get her up so we went to get the neighbours husband for helpand when we came back my nan was crawling on her hands and knees around the house picking up bits from the carpetand she had make a small pile of these bits, when we asked what she was doing she said "well i might aswell do a bit of spring cleaning while im down here, she is a 84 year old lady and sometimes she cam be alot of work but things like this make us all chuckle and it doesnt feel like hard work anymore. xxx

When my Dad was in the hospital for an issue, being that he was a fall risk the nurse placed an alarm on his room recliner. Thus, if Dad tried to stand up the alarm would go off.

Dad decided, as usual, to be funny. He tried to stand up, the alarm went off, Dad said "darn beans".

I love that Lost 123. She sounds like a very pragmatic lady:-) I agree sometimes you just have to laugh.

I got to the nursing home today and as I approached Dad's room I noticed nurses standing outside his room hesitant to get too close and I saw a sock fly through the door. I approached and said "Dad, how ya doing? What's up". He said, "Stand away from the door!! I'm throwing my shoes at that bad nurse and I don't want to hit you by mistake! " I said, "Why"...He responded, "never mind why, just stand back so I don't get you by mistake!!!!". I stood back, waited for the shoe to fly by, and then poked my head in and said "ice cream??". Another day, another chuckle:-)

My Aunt was convinced a man was living under her kitchen table. She could not seem to understand that there was no one there! When I told my niece, she called my Aunt and said - Hey Auntie, is the guy living under your table single??

Pretty funny

My mom was a very sharp lady, until one day, she just wasn't. It was almost that sudden. My young son and I visited her one morning at the rehab facility, and she talked about how tired she was because she had been driving around all night long in a hot dog truck. Prior to the loss of her cognitive abilities, she was the epitome of elegance and grace. The thought of her, of all people, driving around in a hot dog truck brought the much needed comedic relief we needed. Had she been aware of what she was saying, she would have had a good laugh about it too. So hard to believe how quickly things can change. Hugs to everyone caring for a loved one. You are all angels, in my opinion.

Old thread but we need the chuckles.

May have posted this long ago, don't remember but here goes.

At age 85 my mom has hip replacement surgery. After 3 days in the hospital she was moved to a rather grim old folks rehab mill. I'm with her when a very young and perky nurse shows up to check her in. The nurse is asking all the basic questions to establish moms cognitive level: name, know where you are, what day is it etc.  Keep in mind that mom is still pretty "with it".

Mom asks what's with all the questions. I joking replied that it's was a test and if she got a question wrong they'd send her home.

Next question from perky nurse: "Can you tell who's the president?"

Without missing a beat mom says "Roosevelt!"