My best friend has exhibited growing paranoia with her memory issues. She has believed for some time that people are breaking into her home and stealing the oddest items, e.g., her pots and pans, her underwear, her curtains for the back room, etc.
Years ago my mom noticed her good friend was having some troubles - her husband and one son were deceased so my mom went with her to the doctor - About all he could offer was a B-12 shot - it soon became very obvious she had Alzheimer's and it was progressing fast
This was before health care privacy acts and the like and I would think it would be much different now to try and help a friend without having health care POA
Paranoia and fears that items are being stolen is common for a person living with dementia, starting in the middle stages of dementia. The items being "stolen" are usually personal items such as underwear, favorite clothes, favorite kitchen utensils, etc. Often, these items are simply misplaced by the person living with dementia, and the usual location of the stored item is forgotten.
Doctor Diagnosis or anyone legally qualified to be certain it's an impartial person with the qualifications. It would be a shame for you to find out someone with access to her knowing her propensity towards paranoia is actually moving stuff around on her. There are some sick puppies in this world. Does anyone have access to her home that may have a sick sense of humor? Nothing surprises me anymore.
Go to the doctor with her to review medications, and have a check up. She is probably getting anxious as to what is happening to her. The faster she gets meds, the better. Remain calm and peaceful with her. I went through this with my mom. These are delusions. If they happen in the evening, 4:30pm and beyond, its called sundowning. I suggest you read The 36 Hour Day so you will know exactly how to help her. You will also receive wonderful advice in this site.
If I gave my back room curtains to Goodwill and forgot I did it, put a couple of pans in the linen closet, threw some panties in the trash instead of the laundry basket, etc. I could admit that I'm having memory problems and seek medical evaluation, or I could deny it is happening and find some other "logical" explanation -- such as someone is stealing my stuff.
That the rationalization is not very logical at all is part of the impairment! It is an attempt at self-protection. Your friend may not be very open to reasoning about this. I'm sure you've asked, "Why would anyone take your curtains and leave the valuables in that room?" You might have more success addressing the forgetfulness and suggest she have that checked out. "It's probably nothing. We all get distracted and forget things once in a while. But since it seems to be happening more often, you'll feel better once you have it checked out."
It is kind of you to be concerned for your friend. I hope she will be open to your help.
It is quite possible that she may be developing memory issues (of which there could be many possible causes) and has put things in odd places and doesn't recall doing it, rationalizing that someone else must have done it.
My mom has dementia has had it since maybe 2006 when she started noticing her memory loss. Right before I moved her in with me two years ago she was experiencing some paranoia. She was claiming that someone was in the house, she could hear people talking in other rooms. She also said that they were coming in the house in the middle of the night and making a mess in the kitchen. Medication could help her but yes let the doctor give you an answer.
Luckybag, is your friend under the care of a doctor? You could ask that the doctor review all meds she is taking, and check labels to see if prescriptions are being given by more than one doctor, then get all the meds under review by just one doctor. Just a guess. There are kind, informed people on this board who can help you more if you give more information about your friend. Wishing you well, it must be scary for you to see these changes.
She needs an expert diagnosis by a neurologist or psychiatrist who knows both dementia and mental illness. That's the only way she'll receive proper treatment. I hope that she'll let you help her. Take care, Carol
These are classic signs of some form of Dementia. It could also be another type of Mental Illness as well. But as with ANY medical problem you or rather she needs an expert diagnosis. The first place I would start, and most people have to start is with their Primary Doctor. Express the concerns, give accurate description as to what has been happening. Chances are the doctor will do a MME (mini mental exam) that is pretty much worthless as far as I am concerned since they have nothing to compare it to other than "the norm" Then ask for a referral to a Neurologist or better yet a Neuropsychologist. They will do very in depth testing to come to a diagnosis. Stick with your friend through this...she will need a good friend as this is a very difficult diagnosis. (any mental "disorder" is a difficult one) She will need a good friend and I can tell you many of her friends and family will abandon her. And I can not stress how important a Support group will be for you and her family. Good luck.
Does your friend have family?
Years ago my mom noticed her good friend was having some troubles - her husband and one son were deceased so my mom went with her to the doctor - About all he could offer was a B-12 shot - it soon became very obvious she had Alzheimer's and it was progressing fast
This was before health care privacy acts and the like and I would think it would be much different now to try and help a friend without having health care POA
That the rationalization is not very logical at all is part of the impairment! It is an attempt at self-protection. Your friend may not be very open to reasoning about this. I'm sure you've asked, "Why would anyone take your curtains and leave the valuables in that room?" You might have more success addressing the forgetfulness and suggest she have that checked out. "It's probably nothing. We all get distracted and forget things once in a while. But since it seems to be happening more often, you'll feel better once you have it checked out."
It is kind of you to be concerned for your friend. I hope she will be open to your help.
I hope that she'll let you help her.
Take care,
Carol
But as with ANY medical problem you or rather she needs an expert diagnosis.
The first place I would start, and most people have to start is with their Primary Doctor.
Express the concerns, give accurate description as to what has been happening.
Chances are the doctor will do a MME (mini mental exam) that is pretty much worthless as far as I am concerned since they have nothing to compare it to other than "the norm"
Then ask for a referral to a Neurologist or better yet a Neuropsychologist.
They will do very in depth testing to come to a diagnosis.
Stick with your friend through this...she will need a good friend as this is a very difficult diagnosis. (any mental "disorder" is a difficult one) She will need a good friend and I can tell you many of her friends and family will abandon her.
And I can not stress how important a Support group will be for you and her family.
Good luck.