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I provide care for a specific client Friday, Saturday and Sunday 8:00 am until 8:00 pm. (ongoing). Every Sunday we attend her Church, which is a different denomination than my own. Knowing the value and importance of Spirituality. I have been able to overlook.


Last week the Church voted in a new Pastor. I dont feel comfortable with new Pastor's sexual orientation.


Contacted the Client's individual care coordinator, informed her of the situation. Suggested that a designated member of congregation assume custody of client, that I remain standby either out in parking Lot or a block away at clients home. When new Pastor officially installed. Care coordinator Response ....That I most likely lose Sundays. As client's family has chosen to relieve caregiver faced this issue in the past.

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EVERYTHING is a hot button subject nowdays . the perpetually offended ya know ..
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It never ceases to bewilder and amaze me - the amount of hate, discrimination and violence that occurs all in the name of religion.
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Anita,
My advice is to comply willingly with the rules and guidelines of the AgingCare forum and to not bring up religion or politics, a hot button topic to be sure.
As far as it concerns caregivers, (you), be at peace with all men.

Of course, we all do it, just cannot help ourselves. I would not be surprised if the moderators shut us all down and close this discussion for further comments.

Prediction is that hate, division, criticism, snarky comments, attacks from caregivers to caregivers will follow. And then, our words will live on, written in the internet cloud, until the internet is no more.

Moderators, take down this wall! Lol.
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seriously , dont do it .
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just dont kneel at their alter for any reason .
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Sendhelp Nov 2019
It might hurt your knees. Then, not able to work a n y day of the week.
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Your job is to stay with, and care for, an individual on Sunday's from 8 am - 8 pm. Not to decide whether the pastor of her church has a right to be gay or not, or whether you agree with or disagree with her religion, or with the pastor, or his habits. You can either perform the job you were hired to do or you cannot. It's just that simple.

If you can't get past the sexual orientation of the pastor of your client's church, in spite of the fact that it has no bearing whatsoever on anything, then losing Sunday's with this client would be next in line, I suppose.

"Freedom of religion" applies to your client as well.
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Anita,
Your own "spirituality" or faith has more to do with your own beliefs and relationship to God, (if there is God in your belief) and your practice of religion.

At work, you are not there to "sit under a pastor's teaching", but instead, to perform your duties as a paid caregiver. You are not there as a member of the congregation or church, so you do not get a say in their choice of pastor.
You would be out of line to participate in their worship services while under the guidelines of your employment. For example, to receive communion from this pastor.

Whether you are concerned with your job discriminating against you, or you are discriminating against a pastor in someone else's church, I do not know.

However, I just wanted to point out the part that your faith, your beliefs, and your practice of religion are important to you. So with that in mind, and the limits put upon you (by self, or by your denomination) to not to be in the presence of a gay pastor for example, would that include keeping the sabbath holy, not working on a Sunday? (or a Saturday?)

Instead of looking at "losing Sundays", can you look at it as "offering Sunday"
to worship the God you serve and take that day off? If that fits in your belief system.

Maybe consult your own pastor about the situation?
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I think that you have to pray about this and follow your own convictions and beliefs.

You know that you will answer for yourself and not anyone else.

Just curious, reading the responses that say it's none of your business made me wonder how you know. Was it some big announcement that told everyone what he is doing in the privacy of his own home and life? I personally don't think that it should be announced, if it really is their private life then keep it private, it changes things with the loud and proud announcements. Completely unnecessary except to shove their personal lives into public view. I feel this way about all relationships, I don't want to hear about a man and woman. To each his own, as I said, I answer for me on that day and not what others choose.
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The discrimination would lie in the Church not hiring him because of him being gay. This is still very controversial. A number of denominations stick to scripture. Its black and white, no gray areas. Gays would not be allowed to be Ministers.

Anita is not discriminating. Her feelings are her Church's teachings. Whether we agree or not, we all are entitled to our feelings. She is entitled to feel this way. I think some of you are being unfair.

Anita, I have read your profile. This client has Dementia and should not be left alone for others in the Church to watch out for. There will come a time the client may get overwhelmed by the people and the sounds and you won't need to take them.

Look at it as what it is, a job. Maybe you should talk to your minister and run this by him. You have a right to your convictions but there are consequences to those convictions. This is not a "freedom of religion" thing. Your allowed to believe as you wish and the clients family has a right to make the rules. The aide must stay with the client during Church services. Please come back and tell us how you deside.

Please, no comments to my post. I am just saying we all have a right to what we think and feel. I just don't believe in hurting others because of that belief. Or forcing that belief on others. I belong to a denomination that has just OKd gays to be married in the Church. A gay minister is not far behind. I also have a Gay cousin I love. Alice has a right to feel as she does. This probably is a big decision for her. If the clients family sticks by their guns, and she needs to quit because of her beliefs, then her family may suffer.
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Your solution is switching responsibility from you to someone in the church during the service. So you would still be paid during the service? That doesn't make sense.

If you don't work on Sundays, you would be giving up 1/3 of your workweek for this client. But you could be going to your own denomination's service on Sunday. Maybe you could work another day of the week (if not for her, for someone else?)?
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This has nothing to do with freedom of religion. Why are you focusing on the pastor's sexual orientation? Unless you're expected to have sex with the pastor, what the pastor does in the privacy of his/her home is none of your business. Focus on caring for your client.
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You have freedom of religion and protection from religious discrimination in the workplace - up until it interferes with your ability to do the job you agreed to do. Simply put, if your religious beliefs hinder you from completing your job requirement, i.e. caring for a client during a time period which included them attending church services, then your employer can remove you from that job, or that portion of the job. Your employee absolutely *cannot* relinquish responsibility for the client to "a designated member of (the) congregation" for liability reasons - that should be obvious. You knew your client attended a different denomination than yours when you took the job and obligated yourself to those parameters. I know this probably sounds blunt and I apologize for that, but you really don't have a legal leg to stand on in this situation.
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FWIW, I know someone who is very agnostic who played in a church band for awhile. He said the band was good and it was an opportunity for him to hone his skills, so there he was on Sundays. They certainly never converted him to their religious beliefs.

Can you take ear phones and a phone or tablet and listen to a sermon of your own during the service? You can sort of detach yourself from your surroundings for a few minutes.

It is a j-o-b. You are helping her get to and from the church where she is comfortable and happy. That is all.
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You knew what the job entailed.
You don’t want to do it any longer, so give your notice. You have that right as well as religious freedom.
If your client doesn’t find your solution acceptable, that’s their right.
There are other caregivers for them and other clients for you.
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XenaJada Nov 2019
This. Simply this.
Everyone has the right to their religious beliefs and freedoms.
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" lets open our bibles today to the first book of peeder " .
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Anitakane, the Care coordinator Response was the proper response. YOU will lose Sundays.
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Needhelpwithmom, I agree with you!! It is discrimination. It is everywhere. Employers aren't suppose to discriminate but they do all the time. Somebody is gay. Who cares. What bearing does that have on somebody else's life? LGBTQ is here to stay. People need to be included. People with disabilities need to be included and so do LGBTQ people. Why can't people just get along?
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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2019
Absolutely. We all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

It’s also a matter of being practical. Everyone needs to earn a living. That is fair. Who will pay their living expenses if they are not allowed to work?
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Anitakane, you feel uncomfortable with the new pastors sexual orientation? So what. The new pastors gay. What does that have to do with anything? I agree with worriedincali. This has nothing to do with anything!
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It was inappropriate to suggest that a member of the congregation take over your duties for you. You are the one being PAID to care for and look after your client. If you are unwilling to take care of her during the church service then you need to step down or accept that you won’t be paid to work on Sunday anymore. The coordinator is in the right here.
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NHWM, I think the OP is saying that new new pastor's sexual orientation is troubling to her. Not the religion, the sexual orientation of the pastor.
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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2019
Oh, sorry. I see. It still doesn’t matter if she disagrees. It’s her job as a caregiver to be there for client.

I don’t understand discrimination. Even if a person disagrees personally, they should not discriminate against others.
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Okay, I am not exactly sure what you are asking. I will give it a shot but please correct me if I am misunderstanding something. I don’t want to assume incorrectly.

Your objection is that your client is a different denomination? Correct? She has a right to practice whatever faith she chooses. This is America. You don’t personally have to agree. God knows your personal beliefs. Do you feel as if you are doing something wrong if you are attending this particular church? It’s your job.

There are Mormons who work in casinos. Mormons do not believe in gambling but they are allowed to work in a casino to earn a living. You are earning a living. You are not a member of this church.

How can you justify staying outside? Heaven forbid, your client would fall ill during a service, although I have seen a member of my church being carried out on a gurney from EMT workers before, heart attack. You have to be there so you could call 911 if she does need help. You are a caregiver!

If I were your client or your boss I would expect you to fulfill that position or step down from your position. The agency and the client are not wrong. It isn’t their fault if you are uncomfortable in her house of worship.

I know several interfaith marriages that they visit each other’s houses of worship. We all have to live together in peace even if we don’t agree.
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worriedinCali Nov 2019
she has a problem with the pastors sexual orientation which is absolutely ridiculous because it has absolutely nothing to do with her, her job or her client.

and well said NHWM! Excellent points you made.
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You are a caregiver and attend services to attend to your client; I'm not sure how ANYTHING that goes on at those services has any bearing on your ability to care for your client.
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Anita,
That is why it is called "freedom of religion"
The family cannot force you to take your client to church.
You are "free" to decide not to take her.
You are "free" to follow your own religion and teachings.
You are "free" to suffer the consequences of not taking her.
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