If we must move to assisted living, I think I have found one that we can afford. Any advice?

Contacting your Area Agency on Aging is a good idea. They can help you with financing questions and give you information about facilities that would meet you and your husband's needs.

Medicare does not pay for any long term care. The only time they pay nursing home costs is if the stay is for rehabilitation after a hospitalization for an illness or surgery. Then Medicare will cover a certain number of days as long as the resident is making progress in rehab. Medicaid pays after your assets have been exhausted, provided that you need medical care. If sounds as if your husband might qualify, but you might not if you don't need care. There are a variety of rules depending on whether only one of you or both of you need care. The "community spouse", who is the one not needing care is allowed to keep more of the couple's assets. The aging agency can help you with understanding the rules.

If both of you were to move to assisted living so that you could continue to live with him and still get some help with his care, generally one of you would pay the full rate, and the other one would pay a reduced rate as the second occupant in the same apartment. Where my mom lives, the second occupant rate is about 20% of the full rate.

My husband has a history of alzheimer's, but shows no signs of it yet. I just felt like balling at the thought of not being able to live "with" him. He just got upset today and wanted to leave his oxygen in the car. He hasn't been on it but about 45 days and I know it is irritating to have to stay on it constantly. But, he will die without it. He has COPD and emphysema and heart issues (major ones). He might really start going down if I were not living with him. So, I might consider day care and home care.

We live in Texas, and what do you mean, "spend down"? When I found something cheaper, it is not only affordable, but also has all the emenities that are for him. I plan on a visit/tour. We don't qualify for medicaid and our $ is under the expensive ones. I don't understand what all medicare pays for. Area on Aging might help? I know where to reach them easily.

126Cher, Medicaid is a needs based program and one must qualify both financially and medically. The requirements are different for a couple than for an individual. An Elder Law attorney will know all the details.

In the state that I live in - California - assisted living is not paid for by medicaid or medicare. There are certain things that can bring down the cost - if there is a WW2 veteran there are benefits. The assisted livings in Southern Cal start at $3000 per month and go up from there. Food, utilities and transportation are provided.

I believe that assisted living is only paid if the persons' income is under a certain amount and you spend down to $2000 dollars. One penny over the income or over the 2000 dollars amount disqualifies you. I will try to look up the income amount. Went to a meeting a lawyer held and they were reviewing it. Nuring Home is a whole other can of worms.

Fancicoffee7, I admire you for trying to plan ahead for the possibility that your husband will need more care than you can give him. Medicaid does cover Assisted Living in many states. Since only one of you needs that kind of care, I'm not sure how that would work. It is something to look into.

There is a step between you taking care of him alone and both or one of you moving to a care center. Medicaid has a program for keeping individuals at home, and out of nursing homes. This program can cover going to a day care program, having some in-home help (such as homemaking, a bathing aid, physical therapy when needed, etc.) It does not cover 23/7 caregiving but does provide help. It also covers incontinence supplies and similar expenses. Depending on your husband's level of need and your own health and ability to take care of him at home, this waiver program may work for you for quite a while.

If you expect to need any of the Medicaid programs, you must be very careful about doing anything that would look like "hiding assets" to qualify.

A consultation with an attorney who specializes in Elder Law might be a very worthwhile investment right now. You would learn your options in your state.

feel out the type of care they will receive at the alf by asking how often a resident it checked on. My mother is in an alf that checks her well being every two hours and asks her if she needs anything. They also bring her medications. Those nurses always knows the answers to any of my questions concerning my mom and her day. I am very comfortable that they seem to be covering all the bases and we are blessed and I am grateful for her care. Bottom line, the care factor was more important than being the "cheapest". Prayers to all who are entering these waters...

In my state, Medicaid will pay for assisted living. Not all AL facilities accept Medicaid residents, and those that do often have a limited number of rooms for Medicaid waiver, and as a result, there may be a waiting list for them. They generally go to residents who have lived there as private pay and then run out of funds. Check with the facilities you are interested in if your state pays for AL.

Moving assets in a separate issue and I agree that your money should be used for you in your retirement.

Medicaid will not pay for Assisted Living or Independent living, so there is no point in trying to hide the assets. If you go into a Nursing Home, Medicaid will pay for that, but they look back 5 years to see where all your money went. There will be a monetary penalty if you put it all 'somewhere else' within the previous five years of the Medicaid application date. You saved that money to pay for your retirement, so use it. Usually just the SS is not enough to pay all the bills.