She just feels like sleeping but after long mornings she gradually gets better. 90 years old. waiting for doctor to call. her bp and oxygen is "normal".
I stopped reading at caregiver 99. My sentiments exactly. My husband 74 and I sleep late when we can. I need 9 or 10 hours to feel decent. My mom 88 is in a retirement home and I hope she sleeps 9 or 10 hours so she isn't waiting 4 or 5 for me to get up. Sometimes she calls at 2 pm and says "are you up?". I just laugh and say yes. Even with dementia she remembers I need my sleep. I feel like if they are sleeping a little longer they aren't worrying those extra hours, or asking questions over and over so long. But if they can't sleep that's different.
Being in bed can sap a person's strength. Get that person out of bed and keep her/him moving. I thought like everyone else to let them rest but no more. My Mom is in this position and it is not easy getting her to the bathroom. And getting her a bath is h*ll!
Reversoles, does the memory foam mattress fit on the medical bed, or did you need to do anything to it? It sounds like a good idea. Safety cover waterproof cover for it. They make the memory foam tops too don't they? Maybe I'll try that to make it more comfortable. Thank You.
I am worried about my mom sleep too much too. She is 83 years old, and I called the board and care to tell them I was on my way over to take her outside for a stroll. When I got there, they put her sneakers on - no socks, and she was dead asleep in the reclining chair. My concern is, do they wake her to feed her? She looks like she is losing weight. I take over extra food, not just for her, but for all 6 residents, Management buys cheap food.. She needs to wear depends, so I hope they change her. I guess I need to check her for bed sores. That is one of my main concerns. I think sleeping is the natural way for older people. I am taking it as a sign, maybe her body just needs to rest, and preparing for the final times...
My mum is the same 82 dementia I let her sleep she has a terrific appetite takes her meds as they get older so does there body while there resting is because they need it
Just wanted to add that I replaced my Moms brand new hospital bed mattress with a nice memory foam one from Sams club. I also use a dermasaver pad (you can google) under her to prevent bed sores, they are fabulous. Just fyi.
I've already posted an answer here, but I can't help coming back to add something. I care for my 87-year-old mom (for about a year). She's had congestive heart failure for years and it gets harder and harder to keep her balanced. When she's not balanced? She's a mess. Can barely walk. As her care giver, as Judge Judy says, "I'm the boss, Applesauce." ;) There are so darned few choices she gets to make anymore. She gets told when it's time to eat, time to go to bed, time to go to the bathroom, time to take her pills, time to do this, time to do that. I'll be DARNED if I'm going to tell her it's time to get up. Sleep away, mom. Sweet dreams.
You are worried about 9 hours? Nine hours? Some healthy 40 year-olds need 9 hours to perform at their optimum. Some get by just fine on 7. It isn't consistent, like water boils and freezes at certain temperatures. All humans need sleep but not exactly the same amount of sleep.
Like Caregiver99, I pity the poor caregiver who would try to force me out of bed after a number of hours THEY find "too much." And I'm not waiting to turn 90 to say that.
Nine hours of sleep is not rally a sign of a problem!
When I reach the age when I want or need to sleep, I shall make my wishes known and woe betide anyone that disturbs my slumber.
By then I will have earned it and I will not put, up with any enthusiastic younger people that think they know better than me how I should live my life.
At least when I am in bed I shan't be under anyone's feet. I'll only get up if the dogs need attention.
Let sleeping Moms and Dads lie.
I told on of the snuffs my wife was in after one of her operations that she was not a racehorse. They wanted to keep her in longer, she wanted to come home,. We took her home. I also took her out of another SNUFF that was filthy and neglectful. They said, "You can't taske her!"
I said, "Watch me and don't stand in my way!"
We went home.
Just because we get old we do not turn into mindless zombies. We are still alive and kicking. Treat us well, we deserve it.
My mother 103 this month sleeps 12 - 13 hours nightly + naps. This seems normal and necessary for her. she rousted me out of bed when she first arrived at my house to live a short 4 years ago, gradually, she seems to need more sleep. I think it's normal. She told somebody that she punched a 6 AM time clock for 17 years and went to work at her own salon at 8:30 AM for the balance of her life, now if she wants to sleep in she doesn't want to be bothered. lol...
The week of Easter my 90 yr old dad had started sleeping a lot he didn't want to eat and was only drinking small amounts of fluids I thought ok let me let the rest of the family know what is happening we all agreed these were normal signs of end of life he has CHF has had 2 multi bypass surgeries in his lifetime and his vascular dementia is starting to kick in, on Good Friday out of the blue after he had said he was going to stay in bed and not go to my sisters he got up washed his face combed his hair changed his clothes and said he was ready the on saturday he stayed in bed and didnt eat or drink Easter sunday again after saying he was going to stay in bed and not go to my sisters out if the blue he got out of bed washed his face combed his hair changed his clothes and said he was ready to go and every since after that week of sleeping all day he has been back up going for his walks staying up most of the day and when he has run out of things to do or gets tired he goes and takes a nap I love when he sleeps it gives me time to myself without worrying about what he is getting into.... So don't worry your mom could just be using the longer sleep to get re-energized like others have said if they make it to 90 they deserve to sleep as much as they want to and as long as they want to....
Follow your natural instincts....if you feel she has slept...and she needs to keep her muscle tone to walk, get her up...you can also exercise her legs while she is in bed...to prepare her for walking...pain and cramping are a part of old age...it is a TRANSITION to go from Laying down to sitting up to getting on her feet...make it easier and to keep her from falling...rub her legs and feet and arms....and so some bed leg exercises..to make it eaiser,,,then she may be more willing to move about...and look forward to getting from Bed to a chair...to standing...BLESSINGS TO YOU At ninety..just thinking about walking is a chore by itself..
The way I look at it they go backwards. One 85 year old I took care of liked daycare and coloring. To me she was 5 years old. My mom has dementia or Alzheimer's and to me she was 2. The world revolved around her and a bit demanding but in a nice way. She is 90 and broke her pelvis last week. Was doing okay till she must have aspirated on food. She is in Hospice now. They are so fragile at 90. Anything can turn into a big deal. Just enjoy her while you can. My mom made it this far and it's quite an accomplishment! Never in a nursing home and leaving this life in a way she chose.
Thanks for all the different advice. A lot of people say she's 90, let her sleep, but when it I different behavior I get concerned. 90 year olds shouldn't take meds as strong as younger people. She had a bad reaction from pain pill for a sore shoulder and it took a few days to recover from it all. Also I found out that people over 80 need blood pressure to be higher. I check her bp now to report for possible deduction in bp med. When her bp is higher than "usual" she is a lot moe alert and awake longer, for a better night sleep. She's getting up better now
My 93 year old mother just in the past year has started sleeping more than she used to, but nothing to raise any alarms. Just winding down and probably the dementia knocks some of the stuffing out as well. Mom doesn't have issues with bed sores, probably because she does turn in her sleep, but I'm glad that was mentioned here. Something to watch out for.
I know someone whose father in his early 90s sleeps 20 hours a day! I asked about what he does during the four hours he's awake. Gets a bite to eat and watches TV for a couple of hours, then back to bed. No unusual medical issues according to my friend, so he just lets Dad dream his remaining years away. (My own father passed in his sleep at age 89.)
In any case I hope all our fading elders have sweet dreams!
My dad is 86 and he is inclined to sleep a lot during the day. He does fidget at night though. I'm also concerned about bedsores, but he is not complaining since he does get up for the bathroom and my sister gets him to eating at the table. As long as she does move about eventually, to prevent bedsores,I would imagine she'd be ok.
We don't know what it feels like to be 90 ,At that age let her do what she wants .She doesn,t need someone telling her when to sleep and when not to sleep especially near the end of life .
Sometimes they are awake during the night and you dont know it. My mom is in bed 12 hours but sings and babbles a lot during the night. If its boredom tell her you need her to help you make cookies or fold laundry. They love to feel useful and they love compliments!
I'm with Judith. Let her sleep. Invite her to get out of bed every few hours, but don't force her. Let her body do whatever is natural for her now. "Dreamland" is not necessarily a bad place to be.
I would think it's common for a 90 yr. old to sleep a lot. I'm 58 and I can sleep and nap a lot. I wish my ex; 90 yr. father would sleep. He demands to be entertained every waking hour.
Patathome 01.If your love one has bedsores that is a sign of neglect! This needs to brought to the attention of the house manager ASAP! There are water mattresses that can be used as well as air mattresses that inflate different sections at a time to eliminate pressure points. Bedsores are a reason that needs to be reported to the state. If they are guilty of not turning and repositioning her then who knows what else she is suffering through. Since you are out of state maybe you should look into finding an advocate like a social worker who can check on her. Please do something to help her!
Wait until you are 90 and see whether you want someone to ' force' you out of bed.
I once had a 93 year old psychiatric patient who was only old, otherwise th eprfect gentleman.
I found a mean-spirited nursing assistant dragging him out of bed. I gave him a piece of my mind and ordered him to leave the old gentleman alone, and told him that if he wanted to stay in bed and miss breakfast he was free to make up his own mind.
On the other hand, if your Mum has to go to work, then by all means tip her out of bed and make her get dressed and go out the door to her employment.
Otherwise, leave her alone.
I expect that when I reach 90 I may want to see more of my bed than I do at present. But then,. I'm only 80.
My wife, 78, needs a lot more sleep than me and I make sure she gets what she needs.
That is part of my gift of love to her. I tell her she i not in the army, so ignore the bugler. Even our dogs are quiet when she is in bed.
Hi, This happened to me today as mum (92) slept till 2pm , only managed to give her some water and milk in between. Quite worried so checked her blood pressure and glucose, both ok so let her sleep. She woke up half an hour later and all is well. I guess it depends on how rested she was through the night so the key thing to do is to check for some vital indicators e.g. blood pressure / glucose ( in case it is hypo) if diabetic.. Take care and God Bless..
There's an opposite ramification as well to not allowing someone to sleep as much as needed. About 3 months before her death I spoke to my sister's oncologist about my concern that she was sleeping sometimes up to 20 hours a day.
Her oncologist decided to stop chemo because it was so devastating, and in her opinion wasn't going to change the outcome she had predicted about 5 months earlier.
As a result, the cancer metastasized at a more rapid rate.
I have wondered for years if I should have kept my mouth shut and not said anything. What I didn't realize or couldn't accept was that she was in end stage cancer, was extremely weak, and that the combination of meds she was taking were inducing more sleep. It took years before I could get past the fact that my comment to her oncologist might have hastened my sister's death.
My mother, 94, often sleeps more than 12 hours per night, and never less than 9 or 10. I just consider it a blessing for us both. I get more time to myself and she gets peaceful rest. Win-win, no?
i agree with those that say don't force an elder to do anything. if this is unusual and new behavior, trust your instincts and be proactive with her doctor. has she started any new meds within the last few months? this could be a side effect. does she drink enough water? a good question for the doctor is what is a good amount of water for your mom specifically? is your mom eating normally? our family just went through this with my diabetic mom, 88, who started sleeping 13 hours a day and then got out of bed eventually to just sleep on the couch the rest of the day. she also lost her appetite. the doctor didn't react to our concerns. on the surface there wasnt anything wrong - all vitals ok, sugar ok - but apparently she was gradually dehydrating and her meds were becoming too strong. as a result, her sugar crashed to 41 and she wasnt responding. her electrolytes and potassium were very low, and once in the hospital her kidneys failed. she is ok now. i live in ny and my parents live in florida, so i was relying on my dad's observations and he was right - something was wrong. even the nurses in the ALF didnt notice or take our concerns seriously. this all took place over the course of a week and a half. for a nurse or doctor it is very easy to check if someone is becoming dehydrated - i would think this would be automatic with elderly patients. we are switching to a geriatrician for my mom' primary care - i believe the new doctor will have a better understanding of these types of concerns. anyway.... my advice - trust your instincts and be aggressive with doctors.
I feel like if they are sleeping a little longer they aren't worrying those extra hours, or asking questions over and over so long. But if they can't sleep that's different.
Like Caregiver99, I pity the poor caregiver who would try to force me out of bed after a number of hours THEY find "too much." And I'm not waiting to turn 90 to say that.
Nine hours of sleep is not rally a sign of a problem!
By then I will have earned it and I will not put, up with any enthusiastic younger people that think they know better than me how I should live my life.
At least when I am in bed I shan't be under anyone's feet. I'll only get up if the dogs need attention.
Let sleeping Moms and Dads lie.
I told on of the snuffs my wife was in after one of her operations that she was not a racehorse. They wanted to keep her in longer, she wanted to come home,. We took her home. I also took her out of another SNUFF that was filthy and neglectful. They said, "You can't taske her!"
I said, "Watch me and don't stand in my way!"
We went home.
Just because we get old we do not turn into mindless zombies. We are still alive and kicking. Treat us well, we deserve it.
:)
Happy care-giving to you, all.
I know someone whose father in his early 90s sleeps 20 hours a day! I asked about what he does during the four hours he's awake. Gets a bite to eat and watches TV for a couple of hours, then back to bed. No unusual medical issues according to my friend, so he just lets Dad dream his remaining years away. (My own father passed in his sleep at age 89.)
In any case I hope all our fading elders have sweet dreams!
force' you out of bed.
I once had a 93 year old psychiatric patient who was only old, otherwise th eprfect gentleman.
I found a mean-spirited nursing assistant dragging him out of bed. I gave him a piece of my mind and ordered him to leave the old gentleman alone, and told him that if he wanted to stay in bed and miss breakfast he was free to make up his own mind.
On the other hand, if your Mum has to go to work, then by all means tip her out of bed and make her get dressed and go out the door to her employment.
Otherwise, leave her alone.
I expect that when I reach 90 I may want to see more of my bed than I do at present. But then,. I'm only 80.
My wife, 78, needs a lot more sleep than me and I make sure she gets what she needs.
That is part of my gift of love to her. I tell her she i not in the army, so ignore the bugler. Even our dogs are quiet when she is in bed.
Good luck, and relax. :)
This happened to me today as mum (92) slept till 2pm , only managed to give her some water and milk in between. Quite worried so checked her blood pressure and glucose, both ok so let her sleep. She woke up half an hour later and all is well. I guess it depends on how rested she was through the night so the key thing to do is to check for some vital indicators e.g. blood pressure / glucose ( in case it is hypo) if diabetic.. Take care and God Bless..
Her oncologist decided to stop chemo because it was so devastating, and in her opinion wasn't going to change the outcome she had predicted about 5 months earlier.
As a result, the cancer metastasized at a more rapid rate.
I have wondered for years if I should have kept my mouth shut and not said anything. What I didn't realize or couldn't accept was that she was in end stage cancer, was extremely weak, and that the combination of meds she was taking were inducing more sleep. It took years before I could get past the fact that my comment to her oncologist might have hastened my sister's death.
The Dr will be able to tell you if there are any infections or any issues physically, also be aware of depression...but 9 hrs is nothing.
My mom has Alzheimer's Dementia and stays in bed 12-14 hrs a day...the Dr said it was fine and not abnormal at all...so I just leave her alone.
She gets up and paces going from the front door to the back deck all day anyway and is "always bored" :).
It sounds like your mother does not have dementia but I wouldn't worry at all about it.
:)