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I'm burnt out trying to figure out how to understand my mom who suffers from dementia. It's been 7 long years. My siblings won't help. In fact they feel better about themselves by saying I gave her dementia. There are so many changes, twists, and turns for this disease. I have to try and figure out what it is that she wants by her gestures, in other words I have to lend her my mind. She has had the sun downing stage for about 8 yrs now, and I finally got approved a month ago a split shift after being denied for 6 yrs. She doesn't cooperate with strangers, it's still all on me at night. She is now keeping water in her mouth at night for hours, can it be her being spiteful? Or can this mean she is forgetting how to swallow at night, when the sun downing kicks in?

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Yes, my wife holds water in her mouth for long periods of time. Refuses to swallow. Sometimes I can get her to spit it out, sometimes I can't. She has recently been holding other fluids in her mouth. I have added flavoring to her water and that helps a lot. Try the MiO stuff and see if that helps. You may have to experiment with the different flavors and brands. And other fluids like her favorite soft drink or fruit juice. There just seems to be something about water, whether drinking or bathing. Maybe they think about what fish do in water.
I worry about the aspiration as well.
I have noticed that she eats very little of the meat I cook. About half of what it used to be.
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Yes, my wife holds water in her mouth for long periods of time. Refuses to swallow. Sometimes I can get her to spit it out, sometimes I can't. She has recently been holding other fluids in her mouth. I have added flavoring to her water and that helps a lot. Try the MiO stuff and see if that helps. You may have to experiment with the different flavors and brands. And other fluids like her favorite soft drink or fruit juice. There just seems to be something about water, whether drinking or bathing. Maybe they think about what fish do in water.
I worry about the aspiration as well.
I have noticed that she eats very little of the meat I cook. About half of what it used to be.
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anonymous828597 Aug 2018
@oldsailor thanks for the info. what is MiO? yes, its something about the water, at one point i was thinking that maybe the water feels like its hurting her until a home aide told me to introduce the water to her feet first, and then her legs. it worked, but she is scared of the water on her back and neck. im always looking for signs to see what can be the issue with water when bathing her. that disease is so confusing to understand..
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I wonder if your mom is really holding the water in her mouth as long as you think. All of us produce saliva constantly (2 to 4 pints a day) and swallow periodically, something like 2 to 4 times a minute, so I think it would be physically impossible to willfuly hold a sip of water in your mouth that long. What might be going on is that her saliva is pooling in her mouth because she is no longer swallowing properly, have you noticed any difficulties with her choking on foods or fluids during the day?
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My Mom holds fluid in her mouth, as well. When she doesn't swallow within a short time I get her to spit it out in a paper towel or wash cloth because she may inhale it and cause pneumonia, certainly if she lays down. If she doesn't spit it out right away when I am prompting her to I tell her to say AHHH so I can check her throat (pretend I am a doctor) to see if her throat is swollen. Generally, that works and the fluid is out.

I get the feeling she either doesn't like the taste of it or thinks it's medication thus being stubborn. Whatever the reason, the fluid or food needs to come out. if not swallowed.
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I've seen my mom hold water in her mouth for seconds but certainly not hours - does she choke ?
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