Food issues and over-mothering. Anyone else have these problems?

The solution for a mother who insists on treating an adult like a child is to set firm boundaries - No mom, I told you I'm just fine.... I won't talk about this any more and if you don't stop I'm leaving/hanging up - and if necessary cut off or severely limit contact. So what am I missing?

Boy, that’s a lot of oranges! Sounds like she’s in her own world and won’t remember, but see if telling her that it’s too much food and it would spoil or get freezer burn before you could work your way through a bag, so that you’d have to throw a lot of it out. Maybe it will ring the ‘thrifty’ bell. But yes, keep an eye on her charges, as others suggest.

I like to shop at Estate sales & sell on eBay. Lots & lots of the Estate sales I shop at are from women (mostly) who were addicted to the Home Shopping Network and have hoarded homes full of boxes that were never even opened..........up to the ceiling in certain instances, where they've spent literally a hundred thousand dollars or more on 'stuff' they don't even remember they bought. And are now selling off for less than a dime on the dollar. Way less, in fact. But food is perishable, and 25 lbs of oranges will perish in short order and stink up the house, not to mention they won't do a darn thing to 'fatten you up' either.

Your mother needs to be checked for dementia as soon as possible.

My mother is 94 with moderately advanced dementia & has obsessed about food for her entire lifetime. She had me in Weight Watchers, in fact, at 9 years old as the only child in a room full of overweight adults who had to wear pig masks if they stepped on the almighty scale & it God forbid said they gained 4 ounces. To this very day all she talks about is her weight, what's fattening and what isn't, how she shouldn't be eating dessert, and on and on, ad infinitum. The dementia hasn't enabled her to forget about her food obsession, unfortunately, or to comment on my appearance or on my husband's appearance or the size of her a** on any given visit.

I don't know how you should 'handle' this issue as I've been pretty bad at 'handling' my mother's extreme food obsession over the past 63 years of my life. I'd just try to ignore it I guess, unless you see that she's actually ordering all sorts of crap from the Home Shopping Network. Then refer to my comments above and see about disabling those channels entirely before her home looks like a hoarding den in short order.

Best of luck

I got more hung up on the fact that she is cruising the Shopping channel. If you are her financial PoA I'd be checking her credit cards and bank account for irrational purchases. You can't return food...

Also, you can redirect her conversation when it veers into food topics. Just change the subject as if she didn't say what she did. If she persists, just keep doing it. If she has dementia, it would probably work. If she doesn't then she'd probably get the message. I used to do this with my MIL who could not stop talking about her health issues (for which there were solutions that she refused to try). I just kept changing the subject and then one time after a re-direct she stopped talking and just looked at me and I could see the lightbulb finally went on and she stopped bringing it up. Good luck!

There is some decline as we age. But telling her not to worry about your weight and not listening could be a sign of Dementia.

I am with Geaton about ordering from the food channel. That would be a concern for me too.