What happens with the five year look back for Medicaid?

I have told Mom that as long as she can live in my home, she has a home but if she ends up having needs that exceed my abilities, she will need money to pay for the care and shouldn't give her money away in case that day comes..

Of course, as mad as I am that she is willing to be a financial burden to me just to support do nothing brothers, DH is beyond P.O.'d about this situation and vows that if she gives the boys any money, he is putting her out and she can live with them. It's not fair that we sacrifice to stay within our means and thereby keep a roof over her head and she is willing to toss her money away. But, it is worse to think that she will end up alone, on park bench with her suitcase because she gave money to those who never worked for it and have never appreciated it.

But, that is another story for another day. Thanks for the Medicaid info.

I am wondering the same thing. What would happen to the elder?

Mom2Mom, what is going to happen is that your mother will become your problem, and if she runs out of money, she will be living with you, thanks to your deadbeat brothers.

No, I wouldn't expect the NH to provide service for free. They contact the state & the state would do.... what? THanks!

Kimber166

NH will probably discharge her and contact the state. NH is not going to provide service for free.

I have a question to follow up. Say an elder is in a nursing home and runs out of money June 1 and needs to self pay for 180 days due to gifting money. No family around to either pay OR take mom in. What does the nursing home do? Where do they send them? If someone is in a nursing home - they need the nursing care and cannot live on their own. Bottom line - where can the nursing home send them? I assume they cannot just park a vulnerable adult at the curb with suitcase packed and say "see ya".

I'm only familiar with my sister's inlaws - they had to take the mom due to her gifting 2 dead beat brothers - but she did have family to take her in. what if they don't?

So, you might get her in for a cognitive evaluation. It sounds like in addition to the diabetes you mention in your profile, there may be some cognitive issues in play. Getting those documented might (repeat, might) help you if she starts accusing you of stuff.

You might consider getting her to a geriatric psychiatrist. It sounds like she's getting agitated, possibly? There are meds that help with that, and NO, they don't turn people into Zombies! Before she had a stroke, my mom's biggest impairment, the one that made placement in an Independent Living facility imperative, was anxiety and agitation--the endless "what if" that caused every little thing to turn into an emergency. She had been taking an anti anxiety med prescribed by her Internist, but only when she perceived that she was anxious (which is too late). The Geri Psych changed up the meds, got her on a scheduled low dose, which helped her tremendously. she also strongly suggested a cognitive evaluation, which revealed Mild Cognitive Impairment (which was what was driving the anxiety). If nothing else, it demonstrated to my brothers that there WAS something wrong, and that mom's anxieties weren't some mom was "doing to herself" (quote from one of my brothers).

Trying to convince your mother of something is probably useless at this point. you're only going to get her more insistent. You try putting her off by saying "oh, yes, I'll do that tomorrow".

I have control of her money but i am walking a fine line. I have POA but not guardianship. She could revoke it at any time or get the right sympathetic ear to accuse ne of neferious intent .

So far, i have just refused to write them checks and have tried to reason with her but she is becoming increasingly obsessed with helping them and, subsequently more demanding.

If your mom is cognitively intact and can understand this, you need to explain that she will need to look to her two sons for her care when her money runs out.

If she doesn't understand this, it may be time to get control of her checkbook.

This is so very hard, i know. But you need to protect your mom AND your own sanity and finances.

Yes, that is what I'm saying. The nursing home would try to pressure family into paying, probably. Or for family to take her in. But ultimately they don't have to continue to provide services if they are not getting paid.

I can certainly understand your mother wanting to help her sons. I'd probably feel that way, too. It is almost instinctive. But she isn't going to have money to give them indefinitely; they are going to have to fend for themselves eventually, it might as well be now. Otherwise she might be the one needing the homeless shelter!

I am trying to explain to Mom why giving her money away could be a potential problem down the road. One brother (age 53) has never worked and claims disability but has not reapplied since being turned down in his 20's. I keep telling her not to help until he has tried to help himself.

The other brother has been in and out of homeless shelters due to poor life choices and past drug addiction. Ironically, if he went back on drugs, he would have a better chance of collecting disability.

Anyway, back to your answer... So, she has given X number of dollars away in the past five years. On Jan 1 she goes into a nursing home. On June 1, she runs out of money. Are you saying Medicaid would exclude the next x number of days care in the nursing home based on how much she gave away and then put her back on the government dime?

So, then, what does the NH do? leave her on a bench in the park until Medicaid kicks in?

Basically, yes, Medicaid just leaves the person to their own devices. There is a penalty assigned based on the amount given away, and Medicaid will not pay for care for a certain number of days based on the penalty amount.

Perhaps your brothers should seek aid on their own behalf, depending on what is keeping them destitute. Accepting money that Mom is going to need for her own care is not the best option.