Where does she live right now and why do you want to move her? Do you have durable and medical POA for her? If not, you need those soon!
I think first of all, you need to evaluate yourself and your situation health wise both mentally and physically -plus financially for this is a major decision which will involve not only her care for right now but also for whatever develops?
Are you up to the challenge?
How old is she? How much care dose she need and how close is she to needing 24/7 care for that will come at some point? Does she have dementia or Alzheimer's or is it just stating?
Do you have a plan for when 24/7 care is needed.
Are you working? Will you have to stop work and give up not only income and building up social security etc. toward your own retirement, but also your own health insurance
Does your mother have financial assets to pay for extra help in the future.
What if any mobility issues does your mother have than might mean modifying your house?
Sorry that I don't have any answers, but I think these are some important questions to wrestle with.
Quite frankly, I do not think it is a good idea in most cases. But in your case it might be okay. Just be prepared. I do not know what you should do, but I would not quit the job outside the home.
I would advise you to skim through the posts as much as you can. No need to read every word, but pay attention to the questions that people are asking and then think about your own family dynamics and how would you/them handle the various situations. Remember that you will make mistakes and that is okay. I admire you for doing this and best of luck to you.
You should sit down and talk to your doctor about your plans. Caregiving is 24/7 for who knows how long and it is most important that you take care of yourself first. Then take Mom for current evaluation and get a feel for what is ahead. It is a wonderful thing to do but you must be prepared for all possibilities and that includes your own wellbeing.
The biggest question is if you and your mother get along well. I read that she has incontinence and wondered if that was her only problem. Incontinence goes with so many illnesses and infirmities. Incontinence by itself can be inconvenient, but with other problems, it becomes more difficult to manage. If her only problem is incontinence, you may not have to do much to make your house elder friendly.
We need a lot more information to be able to answer your question very well. If you have a bedroom for her with furniture she likes and if you know you can get along, I don't see a problem.
Develop a written plan with a lawyer about what you expect her to pay you. Talk to her MD about what changes need to be done to bathrooms and stairs. There is no funding for that, so decide who pays for what. Understand now that she will be anxious about moving and may resent not being in charge of the kitchen. She will be bored, so make sure she has a social outlet either with friends or the senior center. Do not give up your own routines or social circles or YOU will be the one anxious and depressed.
Having tried to keep both my mother and MIL at home, as long as possible, I know a couple of things they changed in their homes. A walk in shower was a necessity. That helped a lot. A house cleaner and a bath aid, became necessary. (Most elderly don't want anyone else in the house, though.)
Doorways that would accommodate a walker and then, a wheel chair, where changes that they made. Oh, and a ramp into the house.
My Mother was always cold. she wanted the heat cranked up and no A/C, ever. So, there were additional utility bills.
My MIL liked to get up at 5AM and clank around in my kitchen, that was maddening, every day.
Good luck. There are books you can read on the subject.
I think first of all, you need to evaluate yourself and your situation health wise both mentally and physically -plus financially for this is a major decision which will involve not only her care for right now but also for whatever develops?
Are you up to the challenge?
How old is she? How much care dose she need and how close is she to needing 24/7 care for that will come at some point? Does she have dementia or Alzheimer's or is it just stating?
Do you have a plan for when 24/7 care is needed.
Are you working? Will you have to stop work and give up not only income and building up social security etc. toward your own retirement, but also your own health insurance
Does your mother have financial assets to pay for extra help in the future.
What if any mobility issues does your mother have than might mean modifying your house?
Sorry that I don't have any answers, but I think these are some important questions to wrestle with.
Good luck and keep in touch.
We need a lot more information to be able to answer your question very well. If you have a bedroom for her with furniture she likes and if you know you can get along, I don't see a problem.
Talk to her MD about what changes need to be done to bathrooms and stairs. There is no funding for that, so decide who pays for what.
Understand now that she will be anxious about moving and may resent not being in charge of the kitchen. She will be bored, so make sure she has a social outlet either with friends or the senior center. Do not give up your own routines or social circles or YOU will be the one anxious and depressed.
Doorways that would accommodate a walker and then, a wheel chair, where changes that they made. Oh, and a ramp into the house.
My Mother was always cold. she wanted the heat cranked up and no A/C, ever. So, there were additional utility bills.
My MIL liked to get up at 5AM and clank around in my kitchen, that was maddening, every day.
Good luck. There are books you can read on the subject.